Frump to Fab 2019 - Here We Go Again

Dorothy60

lessonlearned wrote: »

:rotfl::rotfl: just looked at todays "matches"......

I think I might be flogging a dead horse :eek::rotfl:

"Nurse or a purse". ........ Smart woman, your gran.

What gets me is the arrogance of some of the men, either that or they are just plain delusional.

Now I know this thread is all about ditching the frump which means that at some point we have all realised that we need to smarten up and get our acts together, but honestly, some of the men on there :eek:

They make no attempt to present well. A lot of them look so scruffy and unkempt. I don't mind casual but omg, some of the photos. I'm not expecting George Clooney but surely a shave and a haircut isn't too much to ask.

As for their resumes......bland, boring, and oh so dull and monosyllabic. I know most men don't "chat" the way we do but again, you'd think they would at least try.

Am I asking too much....Is a shave and a decent conversation really so much of an effort.

Btw I have joined a fee paying website, not a free one. You would think that if someone was paying out good money they would try a bit harder.

Hey ho......

I will persevere........surely there's a diamond in the rough amongst all the dross.......

Glorious day here. A nice leisurely morning and then Granny duty this afternoon. A nice walk in the park, feed the ducks, a ride on the swings, much easier than trying to keep a little one amused when stuck indoors on a cold wet miserable day.

Just popped over from WW thread, and Oh Dear Me, LL - I empathise.


A good friend recently joined a fee paying dating site, and her reaction mirrors yours, she actually said that she was insulted at some of the men that approached her, and when she showed me their pictures I completely agreed! She is, like you, a mature lady, very well turned out and stylish, a real beauty in fact. She and I spent ages choosing profile pictures that showed her to her best advantage (no filters of course lol) and just as long writing a profile. Like a lot of us, and certainly the ladies on this thread, she spends time and effort to look her best and neither of us could believe some of the quite frankly, ugly scruffy blokes who had taken selfies and not even smiled!? Eh? As if..............


Back in the day Mr Dot and I met on dateline - long before computers, we had to actually write to each other or ring on the house phone lol


Certainly worked for us - I met some very nice, genuine men before he rang me, no spark but no monsters either - I was the first person he contacted and we just clicked straight away.


My friend quickly became very disillusioned, LL, I hope that you persevere because it really IS a numbers game

lessonlearned

:rotfl: thanks Dorothy I thought it was just me being nit picky......

Yeah I'll give it my best shot. I'm also going to look at trying to find nice men in RL. . Get myself out there and "set my stall out" - so to speak. Lol

Glad you found your Mr Dot. I have heard similar stories - meeting someone through the internet can work. Like you say, I think it is just a numbers game.

There are some smashing blokes out there......I just have to connect with them.

maman

Interesting observations Dot and LL.


I read this article this morning:


https://www.thetimes.co.uk/edition/times2/too-sexy-for-the-office-the-woman-who-says-attractiveness-is-a-curse-at-work-femme-fatale-effect-5k8w5d83j


and then heard a related discussion on the radio. The discussion moved on to how women were often not taken seriously at work if they were too glamorous whereas men could turn up looking really scruffy and it wasn't frowned on at all. One woman who was an academic said that it was OK for men to turn up looking like the scruffy, old professor and they were still listened to, promoted etc.


I've always worked in a public facing job and felt I should look my best. That's both for the public as I think it's courteous to look (and act) professional but also I was more confident when I knew I looked good.

Dorothy60 wrote: »

Back in the day Mr Dot and I met on dateline - long before computers, we had to actually write to each other or ring on the house phone lol

My BIL who's a self confessed (in fact he boasts about it:() technophobe used a traditional newspaper 'lonely hearts' column so there was only a small profile and no photograph. Briefly, potential suitors would text the newspaper who would then relay the messages. He enjoyed quite a few dates and eventually married one of them. Personally I think he should have just carried on having fun but that's not the fault of the dating page.


When my DGDs were little I was working full time so did very little childcare. When I did have them I'd always take them out as much as possible. Going along in the pram there was plenty to see and chat about. It had the added bonus that then they'd fall asleep so I'd wheel the pram home and straight into my dining room, leave them sleeping in the pram and have a break myself!:D


My nails are looking quite good since I had the shellac removed. I've been good with oiling them, buffing and hand cream. Unfortunately the nails on my ruing fingers (no idea why just these ??) are weak and prone to split so I keep cutting them back. Plenty of time before my next manicure so I'll enjoy them being au naturel for the time being.


Not long to go now sugarbaby.:D

Dorothy60

I couldn't read the article, Maman, I think you have to subscribe, but I have ALWAYS dressed well, particularly for the office and I am not in a customer facing role. Age has not deterred the glam, if anything I am more over the top now, particularly as my much younger colleagues dress very casually with minimal if any make up. They call me Imelda Marcos and I take that as a great compliment, whether it is intended as one or not - who cares? I think it says a great deal about us - I know I am preaching to the converted here - about how we take pride in our appearance, however it goes much further than that, we don't just want to be noticed for the way we look, but want to gain the respect of our colleagues with our knowledge, professionalism and work ethic.


Going back the dating site, you know, there is a real window of opportunity there for some one like us, to take these poor disillusioned, lonely men and take them in hand, smarten them up, give them a stern talking to and then composing a detailed and appropriate profile. I did just that for an old colleague several years ago - DEAR GOD! He joined a fee paying site, stuck up a picture of him holding a pint (and not a good one at that) then proceeded to shave 20k of his income details as he didn't want gold diggers - I kid you not. He was and is a real outdoorsy sort of guy, very fit and loved nothing better than a hill walk - no mention of this. So of course I told him a few home truths, took some better pictures and wrote a profile that would make ME want to contact him - result? Yep, happily married to a like minded wonderful lady.


Re the granny duties - God, they are so hard work at that age - wonderful but after a day at it you need two to recover! Oh but the love that they bestow on us, my heart soars just thinking of my four.............

Wednesday2000

Lol, Candygirl. Nurse or a purse, never heard that before.

I really cannot imagine dating as I have been with my husband since I was 17 years old, so 26 years!

If I was ever in that situation I think I would find it very daunting.:o

It doesn't surprise me that some men seem oblivious to how they look and come across as you see on the streets how some men present themselves.

Some men do make a lot of effort these days too, though.:)

humptydumptybits

I've been on granny duties, believe me almost one is simple compared to a strong minded 2 year old. Well it is in my family. She is lovely but 48 hrs is tough going.

candygirl

Re men n dating sites: I met my last, battering, ex on one.He came across as a lovely gentle giant; for the first 18 months, then his abusive, angry side came out:mad:
What I noticed though, when trawling through the trolls, was that most men seem to have quite high opinions of who they are, n what they have to offer us!:eek:
LL you deserve a true gentleman :D

sugarbaby125

Hello Ladies,

Only 3 more days and I will be on my way to Jamaica. I can hardly wait :j:D

LL I admire how brave you are being about the dating site, but I must admit that I could never see myself joining a dating site, but I hope you have a lot of fun dates at least

lessonlearned

Humpty.......I think I will have to abstain from granny duties when he hits the terrible twos. Give me a stroppy teenager over a mutinous 2 year old anyday. :rotfl:

Candy...I am "holding out for a hero". :rotfl: but seriously your ex sounds the pits. Why do they do this.

I had an uncle who was a wife beater (my aunt was dad's sister). He was a mountain of a man, she was tiny. When he was "in drink" he became vicious. Their kids were terrified of him.

One day my dad and 4 of the other brothers took Mountain Man on one side, and, after giving him a taste of his own medicine, they sent him packing.

Yep, rough justice and illegal, and I dare say some would argue that it was very wrong of them, but it did the trick, he stayed well clear after that. It was in the days when police didn't get involved In "domestics". No one else helped her. Actually the police did get to hear of what the uncles had done but they turned a blind eye.

They did actually go quite easy on him, we're not talking punishment beating, no real harm just enough to warn him off. Like all bullies, he was actually a weak coward, so he caved in easily.

We found out later that as well as using my aunt as a punchbag he also had another woman, had got her pregnant and treated her just as badly. He was battering her as well......what can you say. .

Wednesday.....I agree the thought of dating is daunting. But, you can't make an omelette without breaking eggs. :rotfl:

lessonlearned

Just had a chat with J3.

He's not for me.......pompous, self important, pseudo intellectual and frankly a bit of a bore. He could drone on for England.

The funniest bit was when I said I was going to watch "Game of Thrones". :rotfl: Cue his sharp intake of breath......

He was Of the school of "oh I never watch terrestrial TV".

Academic snob. :rotfl: apparently he only watches Russian films.......:rotfl::rotfl:

I asked him if he had read any of the GOT books by any chance "Oh no, I only read Kafka or Camus".

Yeah right.

He definitely didn't pass the phone test.

I know this is rude but There is a word for people like him. It rhymes with banker.......

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