*sigh* this may take a while

ohdearhowdidthathappen

Sarahwithlove said:

With that money you could look at booking somewhere else later in the year or put it towards days out or a weekend break when you have less restrictions and can enjoy it. Otherwise you're going to be stuck spending lots of money on days out whilst away on holiday which you could do at home. If he wants a change or scenery suggest a tent in the garden lol 

I've pointed out to him that we could book a 4 day break next year in term time for £650! Then use the rest for some nice days out etc over the next 6-10 months.  I like the tent suggestion for him 

ohdearhowdidthathappen

mark88man said:

I wouldn't be too keen on going so I agree with you - BUT if you do decide do go don't resent it - because that would guarantee a bad time.  Maybe you could explore the place and find something new to do with the space freed up by not swimming.  Maybe let everyone have a choice fora day/half day and you all just have to do that no debate.  With us it sometimes got to the point where everything had to be discussed and everything had to be perfect for everyone which with a big family is a recipe for friction.  so if you do go (or even if you do something different like days out) try getting everyone to lower the bar and go with the flow of what's decided (but not to overthink it). 

Especially if you are saving £1900 then you could probably not let money get in the way.  I remember in Paris once the kids all wanted to go to a little fun fair thing but the prices were sky high so I said no, and then we ended up in a restaurant paying 2 times as much for no fun.  

 

Very good points  I find often expectations fall short when you try to over plan and can never please all of them all of the time

Homegrown0

Well, it took me a few days but I made it through all 65 pages! 

I'm astounded at the amount of juggling you do, both with the family and the unexpected expenses x7. I'm glad you've had a chance to make some savings during the last few months. 

We are about to take out quite a significant chunk of credit to pay for our house renovations and it's of course scary but I'm glad to see you're on the other side of the house renovations, with just a few things left to do. That dream is still a way off for us, but one thing at a time  

I'd definitely have some choice words for your teen, sounds like you have your hands full with her hormones and demands. However, i do remember being a hormonal teen myself (it wasn't thaaaaaaat long ago...) and thinking about being 15 just fills me with a feeling of angst and everything being unjust! haha I hope you get through it and find your sweet daughter again sometime soon. 

Something that sprung to mind about your EF - I think I saw you mention that's at £1k. Is that what you'd call a traditional emergency fund (for actual emergencies) or has it to include stuff like kids' birthday parties, expensive school trips x5 and other expenditure that I'd say doesn't come under emergency, but also isn't in the standard monthly budget. If it's the latter, I think you'll need a pretty robust EF!

in_need_of_direction

Hello, my tuppenceworth from memories of DD’s teenage years.  Keep the birthday budget but give her the option to add to it with her babysitting earnings.  That always allowed me to see if she believed in the argument or was just pushing her luck.  As for the holiday, I can see both sides as I’m absolutely desperate for a change of scenery but it’s a lot of money probably for a smaller space without the facilities you all expect.  

ohdearhowdidthathappen

Homegrown0 said:

Well, it took me a few days but I made it through all 65 pages! 

I'm astounded at the amount of juggling you do, both with the family and the unexpected expenses x7. I'm glad you've had a chance to make some savings during the last few months. 

We are about to take out quite a significant chunk of credit to pay for our house renovations and it's of course scary but I'm glad to see you're on the other side of the house renovations, with just a few things left to do. That dream is still a way off for us, but one thing at a time  

I'd definitely have some choice words for your teen, sounds like you have your hands full with her hormones and demands. However, i do remember being a hormonal teen myself (it wasn't thaaaaaaat long ago...) and thinking about being 15 just fills me with a feeling of angst and everything being unjust! haha I hope you get through it and find your sweet daughter again sometime soon. 

Something that sprung to mind about your EF - I think I saw you mention that's at £1k. Is that what you'd call a traditional emergency fund (for actual emergencies) or has it to include stuff like kids' birthday parties, expensive school trips x5 and other expenditure that I'd say doesn't come under emergency, but also isn't in the standard monthly budget. If it's the latter, I think you'll need a pretty robust EF!

Poor you, working your way through the inner workings of my confused mind/diary  Life has streamlined a lot now that my youngest is at school and I've dropped a couple of the little side jobs because the childcare during normal working hours became more affordable.
House renovations are painful during, but well worth it.  We've found it transforms how you use the house and benefits quality of home time when your home works well for you.  The extra space has been a god send during lockdown, we haven't felt cooped up at all.  You've done really well saving up a contingency fund, which is where we came a bit unstuck!
Our EF is just for emergencies, we tend to just 'pay as you go' for the other stuff as most are paid in installments and come within our monthly budget.  We also have a couple of empty credit cards that we could use in a dire emergency, although we haven't had to yet and don't plan to.
I do still need to work out a way of saving/budgeting that's more preemptive, I'm just not organised enough and when I think about it too much I get confused

ohdearhowdidthathappen

in_need_of_direction said:

Hello, my tuppenceworth from memories of DD’s teenage years.  Keep the birthday budget but give her the option to add to it with her babysitting earnings.  That always allowed me to see if she believed in the argument or was just pushing her luck.  As for the holiday, I can see both sides as I’m absolutely desperate for a change of scenery but it’s a lot of money probably for a smaller space without the facilities you all expect.  

I like that idea I do find when she has to put her hand in her own pocket suddenly the 'needs' become less pressing.

Yes, I had a generic email yesterday from the company outlining some of the changes they're implementing.  Usually you can get there early on your first day, before checking into your accommodation and then leave late on the 5th day after checking out earlier in the day.  Basically you get 5 whole days for a 4 night stay.  This time you can't get there until mid afternoon on day 1 and have to check out and leave at 9am on the last day, effectively making it a 3 day break  I'm definitely sure that I don't want to pay that much for such a short break, OH is wavering now as it's starting to feel like a lot of cost and effort for 3 days away.

mark55man

That 3 day versus 5 day thing would be the clincher for me.  Hard to not feel hard done by - and that's not a a good place to build a holiday from 

VintageHistorian

It would be better if they staggered it properly, with some people told to arrive early on their first day and leave early on their last day, and the others told to arrive later on the first day but leave later on the last day. Squashing everyone in to a smaller time period sounds like a recipe for frayed tempers, especially when it comes to car parking after you've unloaded everything!

ohdearhowdidthathappen

Yes, does seem daft.  They've said it's to give them maximum time to clean before next guests arrive, but if you're not in your accommodation anyway, I'm not convinced it'll make that much difference to them.  OH has now agreed it's too much money for 3 days, so when they contact us prior to the break, I'll cancel and get a refund (they've asked for guests not to contact them as they're working through in order).  
I've looked and with our returned deposit (£685), we can get a term time break next year.  I used to be really well behaved and not book term time holidays, but after this year, I'm less inclined to follow the rules.  I can't see any harm in them missing a few days of school and it's a third of the price, which is ridiculous.
With the £1200 already saved that won't now be used, we'll spend some of it on a couple of nice days out and save the rest

ohdearhowdidthathappen

Driving lessons... can any of you wise folk with older children advise on what the norm is for paying for kids to learn?  Entitled teen has raised the subject (she's not 17 until next year), I've put her off for now, but it'll come back up. 
From memory, my parents paid for my first 10 lessons and the rest were my problem.  My husband paid for his himself, so he's not fussed about contributing at all. I'm thinking more like if we pay for 5 lessons as her 17th Birthday present and then we alternate her next 5 ie we pay for 10 out of her first 15 lessons, but she has to pay for 5.  That way, it might motivate her to get a job or she'll have to use money she gets for Birthday/Xmas from family.
I've asked some friends and they're all intending to pay for all their kids' lessons, so I'm sure I'll get an 'it's not fair' speech 
She won't be able to practice on either of our cars; one is leased (big 7 seater, so she wouldn't want to learn on that anyway) and the other is on finance (and is too powerful for a learner anyway)