*sigh* this may take a while

ohdearhowdidthathappen

daisyfrau said:

I second asking your eldest to do it one day a week. With advice not to disturb Dad unless necessary. I’d be more generous and pay her £50 a day - you’re still saving loads and she’ll feel it’s worth it. Over 6 weeks it would only cost you £300 all summer. It’s a lot of kids to watch so she would be spending most of day at home with them but maybe on her days on duty they could be allowed to do extra fun things they don’t always get to eg a movie session on TV with microwave popcorn, play video games for 2h, Frozen pizza for tea, etc,  to give her some breathing room/less stress.

£50?!  You're much nicer than me.  After deductions, I only earn just over £100... wouldn't give her half, I'm too grumpy and tight  £15 sounds more my level, especially as she'll spend most of the day on her phone.
The fun day thing for her days sounds great though, something for them all to look forward to

ohdearhowdidthathappen

XSpender said:

The job would be 100% home based until October then about 60% after that and would give me a much better work life balance.  I’m keeping my fingers crossed it all works out.

I live in the north and £10 ish is the average rate for a nanny, a little more if they are looking after babies.

That is a good suggestion to pay your daughter to watch the younger ones.  I would be wanting a bit of tidying, clothes washing and dish washing for my money though 

Sounds perfect... I do wish I'd trained in something that I could do from home..
I'm in Surrey, nannies are extortionate... £15ph plus petrol, spending money etc etc
Haha, she can't even keep her own room tidy, I won't hold my breath

ohdearhowdidthathappen

Thanks all, school holiday childcare sorted for the 3 days a week I work.  6 days covered by me, 6 days covered by OH, 6 days covered by entitled teen who has agree to £15 per day.
There's an outside chance I might be able to take a whole week off.  Management are suddenly twitching about the amount of holiday that everyone has left to take by the end of the holiday yeah... no sh*t, that tends to happen if you ban holiday for 4 months 

ohdearhowdidthathappen

Heard today, the school are refunding the trip, so that's £400 back within the next 2 weeks.  They've been struggling to get the money from PGL, but they've finally paid up.  The trip should have been mid May, so they were very slow to pay up.  I think they're doing it to a lot of schools, silly of them if they're wanting future business

ohdearhowdidthathappen

Entitled teen is annoying me a lot... she's not been at school for months because of the lockdown and is even more lazy than usual, refusing to stick to usual timings.  For example, on average, she gets up at 11am and has breakfast, then she retreats to her messy pit of a room and returns back down at 3pm for lunch.  Dinner is at 5.30pm for the kids and she comes down and half the time turns her nose up at what I've cooked, buys herself some sweets and retreats back to her pit.  Average bedtime is midnight-1am.
Any attempt to get her to conform is met with aggression and nastiness.... after several years of her !!!!!! attitude, we've kind of gone for the path of least resistance, thinking she couldn't get any worse.  Ugh!

mark55man

if its any consolation - there is a point of peak friction with boys and girl teens, and then it gets a bit better,  and then it gets a lot better

the trick is not so much flattening the curve, it's more knowing that it will of its own accord

Drawingaline

My 16 & 14yr olds are the same. In the end I put my foot down at the eating lunch late, if they want breakfast 11, then it needs to be a brunch with no mid afternoon snacks. 

My 16yr old esp is quite down atm. Really struggling with the isolation. She doesn't have masses of friends, she has a few very close ones rather than being part of a big group, and her bestie lives in a village she can't walk too so is reliant on me to take her. 

savingholmes

Sorry to hear that Drawingaline - from what I've read and some experience with my two - the under 30s are finding lockdown the toughest. They are more reliant on social interaction and external stimulation and its the peak period for friction with teenagers and I think girls in particular. My DD is 17.... whistles... I don't remember ever paying DS to look after DD in the holidays. I did give him money if we went away for an odd night or weekend though. He is now 22. I think £15 a day sounds very reasonable - I nearly choked at the suggestion of £50! Whatever you offer needs to be sustainable so you can opt for it again in future.

ohdearhowdidthathappen

Thanks Mark, DAL and SH..... I'm hoping it's just a phase, but it's been going on so long now, she's just not pleasant to be around.  Without the structure of school, she's just ridiculous.  I think going to uni and/or getting a job will sort her out, help her realise the world doesn't revolve around her.  My 14yo son isn't like it at all, he's had a paper round for over a year, is polite and kind etc... he does spend a lot of time on his computer, but usually gaming with friends.  If he's in a bad mood, he tends to keep himself to himself rather than ranting and raving like a loony.  My other daughter is 11, so far there are no signs of lazy entitlement, but I guess the teen hormones haven't kicked in yet.
I know, I was a bit horrified at £50 too, barely worth going to work!  £15 is sustainable, although I still don't think I should particularly need to pay her.  I never got paid to babysit my brother, but if it keeps the peace and helps us muddle through until September, think I'll just have to suck it up

ohdearhowdidthathappen

Drawingaline said:

My 16yr old esp is quite down atm. Really struggling with the isolation. She doesn't have masses of friends, she has a few very close ones rather than being part of a big group, and her bestie lives in a village she can't walk too so is reliant on me to take her. 

That's a shame 
Has she done zoom calls etc?  My daughter does them quite regularly with her friends and finds them helpful.  Sometimes they go on for hours, they put a film on at the same time and almost pretend they're together.  A couple of her friends live quite locally and she's gone on walks with them etc.  She's asked to have friends over, but I've avoided that as I don't want the responsibility of keeping them apart