*sigh* this may take a while

ohdearhowdidthathappen

I've been really rubbish at keeping up with this diary.  Hope everyone has been doing ok.

Money wise, we've been doing ok.... same old really, haven't accumulated any debt, but haven't really managed to save as much as we should be either.  Currently we have:

-£8k saved for bathroom refit  - being done in December
-£1k saved for Christmas  - need to top this up more, 5 kids= expensive
-£1k emerergency fund
-£5k general savings not to be touched (want to get this to £10k) 
-£1k saved towards holiday next year 

Unfortunately, I couldn't convince my husband to pay off his car at the end of the PCP agreement, so he's now started a new one.  I think I'm going to have to give up on that one and accept we'll have a PCP running concurrently with the lease on our other car.  Cars are definitely the weak spot in our finances, the PCP and lease come to £450 a month.  
Our mortgage is £1700, so those 2 outgoings (mortgage and cars) of £2150 is a third of our household income.  Ouch.

I've recently finished isolating after my 3rd bout of covid (joys of working for NHS), once again I got off reasonably lightly with symptoms, just felt tired and a bit achy.  To be fair, one of my teenagers tested positive at the same time, so I might have caught this one off him (or he might have caught it off me, who knows?)

The kids are all doing well, entitled teen is as entitled as ever.  She's doing her A-levels this school year and is planning on going to uni, ongoing arguments about that as she's expecting us to top up the £500 shortfall from the maintenance loan due to the fact they take parental income into account (why do they do that, these students are adults!).  We won't be.... she's now saying she'll go to a local uni, which is fine financially, but I think she could do with moving away to uni to grow up a bit.

All the others are trundling along happily, doing well at school etc

Work wise, I'm still at the trust I moved to and I still much prefer it to original trust.  I work there 20 hours a week now and do the odd private shift to top up.  OH is still at the same workplace, still working from home and is doing well.

Think that's about it for now , think I'll catch up on some diaries!

Drawingaline

We are in the uni open day scene atm. We will have to make up some of the maintenance loan as she will be 2-3k short just for her accommodation 😱 but she has 2k saved and knows she has to save save save from her job this year. I don't want her to stay home, and tbh if cost £500 to make her move out I would pay it 😂 I adore her, but she needs the experience and she is awful when she is in the midst of a project. She can go have that drama somewhere else thanks!

Good to see your savings building up.

mark55man

welcome back - and hello

Here's my advice for your DD - work out a circle 50 miles from your house and don't choose a uni there.  she does not want to do uni from home, and if she's away but close still costs the same but not the sense of independence

I think you should expect to fund her £3-500 a month depending on the rental prices. Its worth driving a but further 2-3 times a year to find a cheaper place - Cardiff and Swansea are good.  plenty of others.

I know that paying sets a precendent for the others, but the alternative of her working during term time will cause her education to suffer and what's the point of that.  Holiday jobs are OK but not brilliant

crunchy_time

Nice to see you back!  

Thanks for the heads up about uni costs.  My two are 7 and 9 but it is a good idea to know where we are heading!

Crunchy x

ohdearhowdidthathappen

Hi DAL, Mark and Crunchy

£300-500 is a bit beyond us, especially as there'd be a 2 year overlap with DS.  To be honest, I begrudge subsidising someone so lazy and entitled.  She's never even attempted to get a part time job, just strops around calling me lazy and a sh*t parent.  I like the 50 mile radius idea though!  I have said to DH it might be worth the hundreds a month just to get some peace and quiet.... hopefully with the added bonus of her growing up a bit.  We'll see.

Quiet weekend here, my youngest 2 DC are still in their isolation period as they have covid.  It ends just as half term starts!  At least the other 3 can go back to school tomorrow.  We've been watching films and playing board games.  Have also done some cooking for the week, lasagnas and other one pot wonders and they're sat in the freezer to make life smoother this week on my work days

I've set up YNAB again, but still find it tricky to stick to, so many little transactions going in and out :-/  I've got in the habit of doing the odd extra shift here and there to 'mop up' any overspending rather than tackling it at source.  Definitely a work in progress, especially if I'll have to fund 'the entitled one' at uni. 

crunchy_time

Sounds like you deserve some peace and quiet!!

Im the same as you about ynab except for us it’s monzo. We are always over budget but seem to be able to afford to mop it up with other savings pots promising next month we will start afresh. 

Both of us are exhausting working full time with some childcare and not much support. It seems to be that we do anything we can just to get through the week and feel better. 

We need to get better at this though -we can’t use the too busy to manage money excuse forever.

crunchy xx

mark55man

entirely your call, but you do need to be sensitive to the fact that the student loan for the tuition/education is just precisely that, and the student loan for maintenance will not even cover the rent, especially living in - so you are going to have to have a plan.  my DD1 worked hard AF in the holidays to build up a nest egg.  my DD2 preferred to work during term time, but it did take its toll and she probably would have done better if she had not had to work so much (and that was with me paying £300-£500a month.

I was lucky as my FIL had given some money to support and about half of the above came from that. The rest I just made do, or to an extent built up some CC debt.  There is a line in Brideshead Revisited something like a small amount of extra money at university will be more useful than at any other time in your life, as it will open more doors, enable more opportunities and promote better outcomes.  So whilst living your life by Evelyn Waugh is not top of my list, that one did stick in my memory and I suggest that a little bit is £100 + some of the rent) 

also I soon found the hints of entitledness that come with being under 17 evaporate very quickly in a uni setting, so maybe come up with a minimum amount but plan to see what you can do on top for specials.  you have enough in your income to be a little generous although I understand about setting a precedent

savingholmes

Good to see you back.

We funded DS £400pcm while repaying debt. We gave up DH's posh car to pay. It was a struggle. Thankfully DD has gone the apprenticeship route instead. Even with our help and working, he came out with lots of debt..

I get it is frustrating having to pay uni maintenance but....

ohdearhowdidthathappen

crunchy_time said:

Sounds like you deserve some peace and quiet!!

Im the same as you about ynab except for us it’s monzo. We are always over budget but seem to be able to afford to mop it up with other savings pots promising next month we will start afresh. 

Both of us are exhausting working full time with some childcare and not much support. It seems to be that we do anything we can just to get through the week and feel better. 

We need to get better at this though -we can’t use the too busy to manage money excuse forever.

crunchy xx

We have Monzo too  .... I love it, but don't find it that intuitive in terms of seeing where your money has gone, the categories are quite restrictive.  Love the pots though and that everything is one place.  Our weaknesses are a Next account, Paypal and our CC.  We pay all of them off every month, but it's kind of hidden debt and puts us on the back foot at the start of each month.  Need to stop using them and have everything going in and out of Monzo really.  
Full time for both of you with young children is no easy feat, I think you're doing really great.

mark55man said:

entirely your call, but you do need to be sensitive to the fact that the student loan for the tuition/education is just precisely that, and the student loan for maintenance will not even cover the rent, especially living in - so you are going to have to have a plan.  my DD1 worked hard AF in the holidays to build up a nest egg.  my DD2 preferred to work during term time, but it did take its toll and she probably would have done better if she had not had to work so much (and that was with me paying £300-£500a month.

I was lucky as my FIL had given some money to support and about half of the above came from that. The rest I just made do, or to an extent built up some CC debt.  There is a line in Brideshead Revisited something like a small amount of extra money at university will be more useful than at any other time in your life, as it will open more doors, enable more opportunities and promote better outcomes.  So whilst living your life by Evelyn Waugh is not top of my list, that one did stick in my memory and I suggest that a little bit is £100 + some of the rent) 

also I soon found the hints of entitledness that come with being under 17 evaporate very quickly in a uni setting, so maybe come up with a minimum amount but plan to see what you can do on top for specials.  you have enough in your income to be a little generous although I understand about setting a precedent

Yeah, it's the maintenance one that sucks.  She'll only get half the amount, so around £4.8k.... might just about cover accomodation in year 1 when you don't pay for whole year, but after that.  Eek.
I wouldn't mind topping up rent and paying for food and essentials, I can just see her continuing to refuse to get a job and constantly having her hand out and it makes me nervous.  With 4 younger siblings coming up behind... I'll be mid 50s when my youngest starts uni (if he goes), the thought of paying £300-500 per child for the next 16 years makes me feel a bit ill.  Not something you think of (or I didn't when you're having babies!  I always thought the baby/toddler stage was the most pricey.

ohdearhowdidthathappen

savingholmes said:

Good to see you back.

We funded DS £400pcm while repaying debt. We gave up DH's posh car to pay. It was a struggle. Thankfully DD has gone the apprenticeship route instead. Even with our help and working, he came out with lots of debt..

I get it is frustrating having to pay uni maintenance but....

Hi SH
Hope you've been keeping well.
I'm very much hoping some of mine will go apprenticeship route.  I'm finding within DDs cohort a lot are, even the really smart ones who'd potentially be Oxbridge candidates, they just don't want the debt (understandably).  A couple of her friends are planning on uni, but their parents are loaded and will be fully funded.