Advice on girlfriend needed

Red-Squirrel_2

Uxb wrote: »

That is Incel's not MGTOW's
Incel - standing for "Involuntary Celibate" are men who have been rejected by every woman every time for whatever reason they come up with on the day and as a result as you say hate all women.

MGTOW's
They have totally given up and are simply not interested in all the games and maneuvers necessary to start and maintain a relationship. Things like at the start women like you have lots of friends - to give them option possibilities for an alternative boyfriend- whereas once in a relationship they hate you having friends - lest it might you might have the same options.
So MGTOW's just ignore women from a relationship point of view while being quite happy being friends with them.

I'm convinced, that doesn't sound woman hating at all!

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

onomatopoeia99

Uxb wrote: »

Things like at the start women like you have lots of friends - to give them option possibilities for an alternative boyfriend- whereas once in a relationship they hate you having friends - lest it might you might have the same options.

That would work less well with me as most of my friends are women :rotfl:.


Mind you, a woman that could cope with my closest friends being other women wouldn't be worth dating anyway.

Loz01

Uxb wrote: »

Things like at the start women like you have lots of friends - to give them option possibilities for an alternative boyfriend- whereas once in a relationship they hate you having friends - lest it might you might have the same options.

Blimey :rotfl: bit dramatic. So women cant have friends, and if they DO its so we can have "possibilities for an alternative boyfriend" - no pal, we just like having friends, even... SHOCK HORROR... male ones!!!! Incredible I know. Almost like it's 2019 in a few weeks!

ska_lover

This sounds hard on both of you OP.

It does sound like depression. But you do hit the nail on the head when you say she 'does need to want help'

Maybe she doesnt realise shes depressed - sometimes it takes someone close to give you that reality check

BrassicWoman

Uxb wrote: »

Things like at the start women like you have lots of friends - to give them option possibilities for an alternative boyfriend- whereas once in a relationship they hate you having friends - lest it might you might have the same options.
So MGTOW's just ignore women from a relationship point of view while being quite happy being friends with them.

Because ALL WOMEN ARE IDENTICAL


yes.

Robisere

OP, whatever path you take with or without this GF, I believe that, when her windfall is gone, she will not return to work, but will sponge off you. If you are prepared to accept that, good luck, because that is your future. If you're not prepared to accept it, I think you know the answer...

C_Mababejive

I presume your not married. Is the property owned? If you own it or are the legal tenant then hoof her out. If not then leave yourself. I think there is more to this than you know,,either way it seems like it is becoming a big problem and will not easily get better. If you stay around,will you love what comes out the other end?

svain

Very little is less attractive than a sponging/lazy partner (regardless of reason) .... I would sit down with her, express your concerns and give her a chance to bounce back ... Set a fixed timescale. If no improvement by this time then it is time to move on.

Comms69

MGTOW is such a terrible philosophy.


It turns young men who simply lack confidence or have suffered difficult relationships into genuine misogynists.

Soot2006

Comms69 wrote: »

MGTOW is such a terrible philosophy.


It turns young men who simply lack confidence or have suffered difficult relationships into genuine misogynists.

I agree with this.

I have "hated" my OH ... I'm sure he has "hated" me ... It's possibly made us hate "all men" and "all women" at times ... And then we remembered we were grown ups and we worked through our problems. Sometimes by talking things over and coming to realisations; once by me having bereavement counseling, once by him have treatment for anxiety; once by us both having relationship counseling.



Hard work? Yes, sometimes ...



17 years into the relationship we're in a good place and we are happy. We have been mostly happy along the way, with ups and downs and dips and blips. We've both wanted to run away, but our fundamental fidelity to each other (and stubbornness!) has given us almost two decades of adventure together and I wouldn't change that for the world.



If I work it out in total. Maybe 12 months of counseling/treatment to help us through various issues ... total ... Maybe 12 months of "thinking about doing something about unhappiness, etc." total ... So, 24 months of not being happy. Leaves 15 years of happiness. I don't think that's a bad score, really.