Champagne Lifestyle on a Lemonade Budget.

ska_lover

Today I feel I haven't stopped

This morning I had to be in the City early to attend a training morning for a charity I am beginning to get involved with

Then afterwards I decided to treat myself to some retail therapy - old style ...Chazzer shopping

I mentioned last post that I had been buying some lovely dresses, skirts, but I had realised that when winter does come, I am ill prepared for warm jumpers and cardys and I really do feel the cold

Well, I spent about £19 and ended up with six delightful winter jumpers / cardys and I am very pleased

I will definitely stop spending money on clothes now, I literally have plenty of everything - other than buying the odd pack of tights - I am more kitted out than I have been in my life

I have literally never in my life owned so many 'new' clothes as I have this last month, and all of them pre-loved.

I love being in the City, it is a city to be proud of in many ways. We do have a high crime rate but during the day it is a very vibrant place to be with street stalls, music - and people of every different faith and cultural back ground but it is very rare I have been in to the city over the last couple of years

As I wandered around, I walked past LUSH, and it smelled great, so I was enticed in. But I was quickly enticed back out again when I saw the prices - nearly a fiver for a bath bomb. OMG who can afford to regularly shop in these places I do not know.

Home to do all of my washing, tidy up, I had ordered my food shop to be delivered as I was far too knackered last night to contemplate Aldi, so I did a bare minimum Asda shop, with a promise to myself that next weekend I will hit Aldi

There are some things you cannot get in Aldi though, Risotto rice being a biggie for me - so I ordered five packs to get my price up for the minimum spend

Anyway I am rambling now, I am off to put my feet up with my book and some chamomile tea.

Mr Ska has long since been snoring his head off

lessonlearned

Good evening everyone......

Well after an extremely busy and productive week this last couple of days saw me take time out.

Yesterday to attend an aunts funeral. Whilst not exactly a champagne moment it was nice to catch up with my cousins. My aunt was 94 and had led a full, happy and interesting life. I was very fond of her and learned a lot from her.......especially my mantra of "dressing up and showing up".

She was not rich but boy could that woman dress up. She loved clothes and was always done up to the nines. Like many of her generation she was from a large family and money was always in short supply but that didn't stop her from being a real glamour queen. She knew how to make a penny do the work of two, she always looked like a million dollars.

Then today I took my DILs mum out for lunch, a slap up Italian meal which she insisted on paying for whilst I paid for us to see Downton Abbey. Both the meal and the film were fabulous, so I had a fantastic day.

Downton was just glorious ....10/10.

Ska lover, I'm still on the hunt for knitwear too. I need to visit a few chazzers.

Our city is a bit hit and miss....we have some lovely elegant old buildings and some fab bars and restaurants, museums, galleries etc but we also have a few less salubrious areas. I think it's the same for any city really.

We are very much a multi cultural city and I too love the vibrancy and energy of street life but unfortunately we are also seeing a rise in homelessness, begging (sometimes with menace), litter and petty crime. I think on balance our city is pretty safe but I do think that sometimes there does sometimes seem to be more loud and aggressive behaviour than in the past.

I don't know but I do sometimes think that society in general does seem to be less "genteel" . I don't think that's me looking back at the past with rose tinted spectacles. I do find that people here are still friendly and I have never felt threatened but I have plenty of friends who are afraid of venturing into the city centre or who say they feel uncomfortable.

lessonlearned

Thanks Chanie for the tip about e libraries. Will definitely explore that. I love magazines but never buy them now.

mrs_slapshot

Morning all - lovely to catch up and read about your weeks. Sorry for the loss of your aunt LL but she sounds like she lived a full life and had a very positive effect on you.

The city I live in has, I feel, become a dangerous place. There have been a few stabbings, resulting in murders. A couple of these have been very close to where I live which is extremely unsettling, especially with an 18yr old son at home, who bikes and walks locally. Worrying times.

My champagne moments this week were a couple of eBay bargains - a top for work and a pair of trousers (which are on the tight side...). I had two disappointing eBay buys - one that took ages to get delivered (but was lovely when it arrived) and another where the back of the top was really faded from being washed. The photos didn't show the back - I've learned my lesson on that one!

I am really struggling with my weight loss at the moment which is very frustrating. It is entirely my own fault, and then when I feel frustrated it makes me eat/drink more. I have decided to count calories instead of following a 'plan' as such - one of the reasons I think I struggle with SW is feeling 'deprived' of things like bread - which is ridiculous because there are so many things you can eat like pasta and bread! I am sure the menopause is not helping either. Time to crack on and be serious about it and stop moaning!

The other thing I struggle with is budgeting. I set a monthly budget using an app, but every single month I fail to stick to it, especially groceries. I have a well stocked freezer and cupboard but still buy lots of food every week. There must be something in me that feels the need to hoard food - we weren't rich growing up. My dad died when I was 13, and my mum only worked part-time. There was only me at home, my brother and sister were several years older, and I remember my mum always being very careful with money. She was fantastic at stretching her budget, and we never went hungry. I am in a well paid job, but I always seem to spend to what I earn - any advice or hints from you lovely people would be most welcome!

I feel like I have been quite negative in this post but I actually feel quite positive. I know there are improvements I need to make, but I have so much to be grateful for - and I am feeling ready to start to change!

ska_lover

Yes I have had a couple of rubbish ebay experiences recently and i think I will steer clear for the time being, and use the Chazzers instead (also cheaper with no postage) and you can see what you are getting and walk away with it

One dress I brought, didn't show the back and it is very low cut. I would have never brought it

and a lovely looking coat I brought, after a fortnight, no coat - so I contacted the seller several times and was ignored - then after three weeks I had to open a case. The seller then said there was a problem with the item, no explanation other than that, and that i would have to wait to get my money back til they got paid (they had obvs spent it!) so another weeks wait and then, instead of paying by the usual paypal route, they paid by paypal echeque which took a further ten days to clear.. that one really peed me off, as it was like the seller was trying to mug me off at every turn really

So it has put me off for now to be honest

OH yes our city has its dangerous areas and is, by all accounts, on one of the less desirable places to live, but I think I had my rose tinted specs on yesturday, sunny day and a carnival atmosphere.

Knife crime is huge here. I mean as a middle aged woman I tend to get unseen but young men are at risk of being attacked and having a young adult son (who is a vulnerable adult but lives independantly) I am so anxious I try not to dwell if I am perfectly honest - it is not like I pretend it is not happening, but if I dwell too much it is a bad one for mental health

There are a lot of professional beggers here - who go home to four bedroomed houses - and I know it sounds like I am pulling that out of the air, but the charity I have got involved in, is a homeless charity, and part of the work they do is monitor the genuine homeless (ie who is stil out at 3am and monitor those who come into the city to beg during the day) - they literally make my blood boil - as these are the ones who are more verbally aggressive in their money demands....and give them money, whilst the genuine homeless persons who may be quieter, get overlooked as they are quietly under a sleeping bag. There is a huge homeless issue here, but instead of ranting (like I am now) I decided to get involved a few weeks back and start being proactive about it at the night shelter

We all see the wrongs in our home towns, but there is nothing to stop us getting involved and using some of our tenancity and fighting spirit to do something x

lessonlearned

Just waiting for the polyfilla to dry before I can do the next lot of painting and although I could be gardening I am in so much pain and so tired I am having to rest and pace myself and just concentrate on the decorating for now. A nice long soak in a hot bath soon but I am determined to meet my target today first. :rotfl: I must be bonkers.

I too have given up with buying clothes etc online....i have had some disappointments, both with quality of goods and items going lost and not being reimbursed. I think it's chazzers for me too from now on.

Mrs Slapshot......you didnt sound negative at all. There's a difference between negativity and being realistic. You are going through a period of transition, facing up to shortcomings and trying to tackle the areas of your life that don't give you satisfaction and that you want to change. It takes some doing. In itself it can be stressful and tiring, change is never easy, even when the changes are good ones.

Our brains are hardwired to maintain the status quo and they resist change. Our neurological systems are always on threat alert and it takes a while for our brains to accept that the changes we are imposing are not a threat.

You are stepping out of your comfort zone, changing and growing and yes it can be scary. It can be emotionally draining too so don't berate yourself. I don't see anything you have said as being negative, far from it. I see the changes you are making as very positive and life enhancing.

Re the food spending. I think we all find it difficult at times. I still overshop at times, I forget there's only me and I'm no longer feeding a family. I do try not to waste anything though if I do overbuy, I will freeze any leftovers or scraps if I can. I'm afraid I'm not one for boiling bones to make soup, just not my thing although I do love homemade soup, I just don't want to make it myself. :rotfl: but I will sling some leftovers or a few sad veggies from the bottom of the fridge into a casserole rather than chuck them.

I didn't get on well either with SW. I just found it complicated and restrictive. In the end I had success with WW because as long as you stay within your allocated point allowance you can eat as you please. You could stuff yourself with cakes and biscuits if you really wanted but it's not recommended for obvious reasons. But you can at least eat foods you like rather than suffer foods that you don't enjoy purely because they are diet friendly. You just have to take the point value into account. Exactly the same as counting calories really.

This may sound crazy but it's true. I originally lost a stone or so by my own efforts, then plateaued so joined WW in desperation. I'll come clean and say I hate slimming clubs but I know they work so I signed up for 3 months.

Anyway to my astonishment I found that I was eating twice as much as before and the weight just dropped off me, a steady 1 to 2lbs per week, without fail. I can only assume I wasn't eating enough before and I had mucked up my metabolism. After 3 months I knew what I was doing so I didn't bother renewing my membership.

I can't really digest grains so I tend to eat a largely paleo style diet for health reasons (IBS and GERD) so I eat mainly meat, fish, poultry, eggs, fruit and veg and just small amounts of dairy. I also can't eat some nightshades so I go easy on potatoes.

It sounds restrictive but I found it's surprisingly easy once I got into the swing of it. And the health benefits far outweigh any inconvenience. No pain, no discomfort. I eat a varied diet.

I am a girl who loves her food and so I make the effort to cook food that is both healthy but also tastes good. I'm not much of a baker unfortunately but going without wheat based foods such as cakes, biscuits etc is no real hardship. I just treat myself to nice shop bought cakes and biscuits now and again. Now that my tummy has healed I can manage some bread and the occasional bowl of pasta but I am careful. I soon know when I've overdone it.

Re budgeting in general......I'm afraid that's just down to discipline. :rotfl: unless of course anyone has any magic formula they use. :rotfl: I could spend for England given half a chance but I think for me it's about shopping around and looking for alternatives.

I often see something I like and then realise it's way out of my budget
So if I really want it I will try and see if I can either find it cheaper elsewhere or try and copy it, working out if I can make it myself or maybe buy something that can be tweaked or revamped.

If I can't find a way of finding it cheaper or making a substitution and I really want the item in question then I will look at where else I can make savings to be able to afford it. Sometimes I rob Peter to pay Paul .......

Of course if I am are completely skint then I have to go without. There have been plenty of times I have had to do that. The worst was when I bought my first house......I had to sell my car because I couldn't afford both. :rotfl:

That first house was so hard, three months in the middle of winter whilst I installed a damp proof course to the ground floor. No kitchen, no heating, no hot water. I camped out in my bedroom with a kettle, a toaster and a portable gas ring. No microwaves back then. I survived ......;). Three years later I sold it for more than double what I paid for it and used the profits to help me buy my dream mews house in the city's best post code.

I wouldn't want to do it again but it's amazing what we can do when we put our minds to it. Mrs S. you will not only survive your lifestyle changes you will thrive and blossom.

This time next year you will be blooming.

Right the paint brushes await......

mrs_slapshot

LL I was almost in tears reading your post - so thoughtful and supportive. Thank you!

With both my weight loss and my budgeting - you are right and it is a matter of discipline. Discipline and focus are two areas that I want to work on over the next few weeks; hopefully that will help me with both of these areas!

SL I really admire you for rolling up your sleeves and getting involved with a charity - well done you! I have a friend who has the same outlook as you and she is looking to volunteer with The Samaritans. I know what you mean about the knife crime being a bad one for mental health - I tend to suffer from anxiety, and at times it is crippling when I am anxious about my son, and what might happen to him. Your philosophy of not dwelling on it is wise - otherwise it drives us mad. I took a self defence course a few months ago and so I feel a little bit better prepared, but my son refuses to do anything like that, so I have to hope and pray that he is safe.

I'm going to keep an eye on my eBay purchases - just bought another cardigan this morning :rotfl:

candygirl

Deffo not a lemonade weekend here.Have booked flight only to Goa, with TC which isn't ATOL. protected, n it looks like they're going under, so I've booked a new flight with TUI before the prices go crazy:eek: I so need this chuffing hols:rotfl:

DundeeDoll

My lunch yesterday - asparagus, mussels in white wine and brown bread. first 2 from mr l (£3 together), bread hm by friend. very yummy. don't know why pack gave me calories in 1/2 a pack of mussels - i ate the lot :rotfl:

lessonlearned

Oh Candy.....what rotten bad luck. Will you get any money back. Anyway at least you have managed to book alternative flights. As you say if they are in short supply they will only get more expensive. Keeping fingers crossed for you. And yes....you do need a holiday. You have been through so much and you are soooooo worth it.

Back to the grindstone this week. Need to crack on and get the bedroom finished. I am getting a bit fed up with sleeping on an air bed in the lounge. :rotfl:

Can't wait to get the house straight again. I can't bear mess and chaos but hey, you can't make an omelette without breaking eggs. I'll get there and it will be worth all the pain and hassle in the end.

DD. Your lunch sounds nice.

Ska Lover - meant to say how much I admire you for your work with the homeless. That's a very charitable and generous thing to do. I am afraid that having spent 9 years caring for my husband I don't feel that I have much left to give, I still feel emotionally drained and spent at times. But I have done a fair bit of charity work in my time so I don't feel too guilty. Maybe I will volunteer again one day but for now the house renovations and helping with my grandchild is about as much as I can handle.

Nice sunny day here but its definitely getting more autumnal. I love the autumn, it's my favourite season so once the bedroom is done and the house is a bit straighter I am going to take a week off and get out and about a bit. Time for another staycation. :rotfl:

Have a great day y'all.