New driveway and neighbours not happy.

happyandcontented

PasturesNew wrote: »

Sod 'em.

"It's not fair" that you try to bully me into doing what you want me to do with MY garden. Now shove off you whiney brat Then turn your back.

Are you single? Families tend to bully single people .... must be some feeling of inadequacy that they "settled for" what they've got, yet you appear so carefree :)

:rotfl:I am assuming that is tongue in cheek!

PasturesNew

happyandcontented wrote: »

:rotfl:I am assuming that is tongue in cheek!

Well... the first bit is true - families do often bully single people as they have "the power of numbers". Not all families, but the bullying sort of people ... they will tend to pick on what they see as the "weakest" - and so you're seen as the weakest because there's only one of you. And, if you try to fight back, if they've a child, they let the child know that you are the bad guy here, not them ... like has happened here. The OP is not the bad guy... but the parents have told their child he is.

I had that with one here "It's not fair" she said when I pointed out she couldn't just play in my garden. "It's not fair" that hers was smaller/gravel, while my area was larger and ideal for skating/cycling.... "it's not fair" doesn't cut it with me .... you do HAVE to be super harsh with them because just saying it doesn't sink in.

As to why .... I could have wheeled out the stock answer of "they're jealous".... but maybe, for some, they just realise that their own "other half" didn't cut the mustard really

Mojisola

goodwithsaving wrote: »

I applied for permission from the council for a dropped kerb and to dig up the garden to turn it into a driveway. I notified my neighbours myself out of courtesy and most were okay with it except one family.

The other house on the road with a double driveway already gets quite a bit of flack because they only have one car.

This isn't the first comment I've had, and the parents blank me now.

If the other household is getting flack then it isn't you that's the problem, it's the awkward family.

If it wasn't the driveways, they'd probably find something else to complain about.

happyandcontented

PasturesNew wrote: »

Well... the first bit is true - families do often bully single people as they have "the power of numbers". Not all families, but the bullying sort of people ... they will tend to pick on what they see as the "weakest" - and so you're seen as the weakest because there's only one of you.

As to why .... I could have wheeled out the stock answer of "they're jealous".... but maybe, for some, they just realise that their own "other half" didn't cut the mustard really

Well, yes, possibly 'for some' but your previous post was a much more sweeping generalisation.;)

goodwithsaving

Thank you. I think you have a point, yes I am on my own. A couple of neighbours have tried to take advantage of that with childcare requests every single week but I've recently learned to say 'no'. Our houses are the same, except mine is end of terrace and a bigger plot.

I think I just take things to heart. I'm also a bit nervous that they'll be really awkward and block access. The whole point of me having it changed was to reduce maintainance, but also for the ability to go out and not worry about coming back.

Slinky

Point out to them that you're having it done so that it's low maintenance and would they rather you left it to run riot with grass and weeds for them to look at instead? Or would they prefer you start piling up old sofas and bits of plasterboard and building detritus to spoil their view etc?



There will also be an element of jealousy in there somewhere, particularly if as a single person you can afford what they as a family had to club together to buy.

NaughtiusMaximus

Amazing how petty some people can be, if a drive was so important to them why on earth did they buy a house without one?

Best advice is to ignore them.

Rosemary7391

goodwithsaving wrote: »

Thank you. I think you have a point, yes I am on my own. A couple of neighbours have tried to take advantage of that with childcare requests every single week but I've recently learned to say 'no'. Our houses are the same, except mine is end of terrace and a bigger plot.

I think I just take things to heart. I'm also a bit nervous that they'll be really awkward and block access. The whole point of me having it changed was to reduce maintainance, but also for the ability to go out and not worry about coming back.

How odd with the childcare ! Normally I thought people would ask neighbouring teenagers for that, since they have time and want pocket.money. Adults don't have time and don't need pocket money! I'd only really expect that to be asked in an emergency...

-taff

goodwithsaving wrote: »

Thank you. I think you have a point, yes I am on my own. A couple of neighbours have tried to take advantage of that with childcare requests every single week but I've recently learned to say 'no'

That would have got my back up straightaway. I wouldn't babysit for anyone expect the closest friends and family and only then in an emergency. i think I'd have just looked them in the eye to start with and told them I don't do children, except roasted on a Sunday. they would have thought I was joking and probably not mentioned it again.

elsien

goodwithsaving wrote: »

I didn't know which board to put this on but I just need some advice on how to improve neighbour relations.


I moved into my property not too long ago and got on with all of the neighbours, was made to feel welcome etc. I live on an end plot which has a large front garden which is not private and therefore I didn't use it.


I applied for permission from the council for a dropped kerb and to dig up the garden to turn it into a driveway. I notified my neighbours myself out of courtesy and most were okay with it except one family. Due to the nature of the other houses (only accessible by footpath), the other houses are unable to convert their front gardens into driveways.


The other house on the road with a double driveway already gets quite a bit of flack because they only have one car.



There isn't a parking problem, although it does get busy on occasion. They initially couldn't understand why I was doing it because as they said, "there is always somewhere to park". I wanted the convenience, and the extra garden was just a lot of maintainance for me on top of everything else.



I have just been grilled by the unhappy family's 8 year old child about why I was changing the garden, that it wasn't fair because they couldn't turn their front garden into a driveway etc. This isn't the first comment I've had, and the parents blank me now.

I'm so annoyed, but also upset that they are being like this towards me. They have also made comments in the past that surely I can live with a leaking roof and ceiling patches, and how am I funding things....... (savings).


Will it blow over? Is there anything I can do to improve things? Should I just lie low?

Direct them back to the council whose decision it is, without further discussion.