New driveway and neighbours not happy.

goodwithsaving

I didn't know which board to put this on but I just need some advice on how to improve neighbour relations.


I moved into my property not too long ago and got on with all of the neighbours, was made to feel welcome etc. I live on an end plot which has a large front garden which is not private and therefore I didn't use it.


I applied for permission from the council for a dropped kerb and to dig up the garden to turn it into a driveway. I notified my neighbours myself out of courtesy and most were okay with it except one family. Due to the nature of the other houses (only accessible by footpath), the other houses are unable to convert their front gardens into driveways.


The other house on the road with a double driveway already gets quite a bit of flack because they only have one car.



There isn't a parking problem, although it does get busy on occasion. They initially couldn't understand why I was doing it because as they said, "there is always somewhere to park". I wanted the convenience, and the extra garden was just a lot of maintainance for me on top of everything else.



I have just been grilled by the unhappy family's 8 year old child about why I was changing the garden, that it wasn't fair because they couldn't turn their front garden into a driveway etc. This isn't the first comment I've had, and the parents blank me now.

I'm so annoyed, but also upset that they are being like this towards me. They have also made comments in the past that surely I can live with a leaking roof and ceiling patches, and how am I funding things....... (savings).


Will it blow over? Is there anything I can do to improve things? Should I just lie low?

Sharonuk89

Blimey! It's none of their business what you do to your property or how you fund it, it's your house you can do what you like.

If they aren't speaking to you there's not much you can do about that, just ignore it and carry on, don't let it get to you, you've done nothing wrong.

adandem

Sounds like sour grapes to me, also very childish.
We had a similar situation when we did up our last house which was a 'fixer up-er'.
One of the neighbours was gutted because our house started to look better than his.
You can either wait it out until it blows over or try and speak to them about how you feel. Don't lie low, you've done nothing wrong.

happyandcontented

It sounds as if they don't like the disruption to life in the street by you having work done. Just ignore them. They might be jealous or just very stuck in their ways.

melanzana

It is YOUR property and no one else's. That might sound harsh, but as long as what you did was within the law on your own property, forget about the comments of anyone else.

They appear to be disappointed that you have more than they do. They may have lived longer in the area than you and think they have the right to dictate your terms.

It is life today.

Get on with it, and try to ignore. Not easy I know, but once your driveway has been approved and is on YOUR land, there is nothing anyone can do.

Bullying is a word I can think of here. But scratch that, I didn't mean it.

goodwithsaving

Thank you. You've all reassured me it'll be okay eventually. I'm struggling with anxiety and depression a lot at the moment and just the slightest thing sets me back a bit. We lose one space on the road to create the entrance, but that's where my car was parked. I've previously had comments about blocking me in or parking on my drive because there will be two spaces.
So this has just been the tipping point in feeling hostility about it I think.



I don't understand it, but thank you all for buoying me up.

Davesnave

Psychological pressure, bullying, or whatever it is, isn't unusual when people move to a new location and upset the status quo. You've not conformed, and one family at least, feels justified in attempting to ruffle your feathers. It looks like they may be succeeding.

The solution is in your own hands: you work on the positive relationships you've forged, you keep smiling and you do your best to remain polite. If you give in, react badly and come down to this family's level, they win.

Over time, if you look after your friendships, you'll become an established member of the community and the nasty digs will stop. Your awkward neighbours will probably still not love you, but they'll have found something else to upset them and you'll be seen as not worth the effort.

Brummie85

It sounds like a case of they want a drive/dropped kerb and can't get one. They therefore resent you for taking the opportunity you have and they do not.

If they were being funny with me, I'd be tempted to have the drive put in and still park on the street anyway. From what you've said I'm sure it would irritate them even more, over something why shouldn't be concerning themselves with and getting wound up over.

-taff

\Just tell them you couldn't keep up with managing the garden. If you really wanted to be awkward with them, tell thm you needed the extra spaces because you're turning your house into a HMO and aniticpate lots of people coming with cars....

Grenage

As much as I'm a fan of green spaces, it's your garden - not theirs. Let's face it, you're probably not going to want them as close friends either way.


Just be pleasant and crack on with what you want to do.

PasturesNew

goodwithsaving wrote: »

...
I have just been grilled by the unhappy family's 8 year old child about why I was changing the garden, that it wasn't fair because they couldn't turn their front garden into a driveway etc. This isn't the first comment I've had, and the parents blank me now.
...

Sod 'em.

"It's not fair" that you try to bully me into doing what you want me to do with MY garden. Now shove off you whiney brat Then turn your back.

Are you single? Families tend to bully single people .... must be some feeling of inadequacy that they "settled for" what they've got, yet you appear so carefree