Wedding politics

annandale

Potentially your aunts and uncles too? Do you realise how daft this sounds?

I think it sounds like you all need to step back a bit, you all sound awful.

Mrs_pbradley936

So in a nutshell your choice is down to inviting the daughter or not.

If you invite her, sit her and her daughter together.

If you don't invite her the seating arrangements are more problematic unless you both want to admit to being petty and spiteful towards your Dad's new lady.

That seems to me to be the root of your "issue" not that you don't like her but that you don't want to appear to dislike her. If you were happy at admitting that you would not have a problem at all would you?

I don't know why the photos are an issue. Everything is digital now so just don't pick anything she is in for your own album.

pollypenny

What happens if both sets if parents are divorced and eith new partners?

The top table voukd have eight 'parents', best man, chief bridesmaid, bride and groom. Have to be a blooming big table.

Just have the parents. Or a quiet wedding n

duchy

I really don't understand why this is an issue.
The top table is for the bride and groom and their parents (not the parent's subsequent partners if both parents are present)
You are only making this an issue because you plan to treat your Mother's new partner differently to your Father's . Treat them the same and the problem disappears. Just talk to them so everyone is clear eg "we can't have a really long top table due to space constraints so we are just having parents , siblings " eithertheyll accept it , or refuse to come either way problem solved. (And no need to mention disliking anyone .......)

I've recently remarried and we both have adult children , if my step daughter got married I'd be more than happy for my husband to sit at the top table with his daughter's mother, it's their child's day . I'd probably have to explain it to my husband though

chesky

If you've already decided to ask your dad's partner, why not hand the problem over to them as a couple. You will either invite the daughter but her mother will have to sit with her not at the top table, or not invite the daughter in which case, the partner can sit at the top table. Let them choose - I bet I'll know which they go for.

belfastgirl23

To give the GF some credit maybe she wants her daughter invited cos she knows everyone dislikes her, she's going anyway to support the dad, and that way the problem of the top table is sidestepped and she has some company while all the photos are being taken etc? Maybe she has engineered the solution herself. It seems v unlikely to me that she doesn't know they all dislike her...

JReacher1

If you’re dad marries this woman then the daughter will be your step sister. I realise that the older you get the less important this is but she will still be family.

Your dads girlfriends argument could be that they are all part of the family so it would be nice to be included in family celebrations.

Personally I would invite the girlfriend, put her on the top table at the edge so you don’t have to speak to her, invite the daughter, stick her next to some other family and have a great wedding!

Photo wise many wedding photos end up with random people who you never see due to relationships breaking up. It’s not the end of the world if the girlfriend is in a couple of photos.

humptydumptybits

Not everyone can have their partner at the top table, the best man's wife, the bridesmaids' husbands are often seated elsewhere. There is a difference between your mother's husband and your father's partner, he hasn't married her so the status is different but only you know how he will take that. Personally I would have her and step father on the top table or neither and it doesn't have to be a big drama.


The photos is simple as most weddings seem to have hundreds of photos nowadays so including her in some shouldn't bother anyone that much just don't buy them if you don't want them.


If you don't know the daughter I can't see any reason to invite her.


Good luck, threads like this always remind me why we had ten guests who were invited a few days before the wedding. No fuss, little expense, no fallouts. Forty years later we are still together.