NST Penny Pinching GoSober Stoptober

f0xh0les

thriftylass wrote: »

I think he thinks he's earning good money and shouldn't have to be "scrimping" etc.

Oh I am RAGING.......

Are we married to the same man? :rotfl: Actually, it was only when DH failed his credit score on our new mortgage, and we had to pay a much bigger deposit, that he got his finger out and stopped living in his o/d. In the last 3 years although he still buys lunch out every day, when he gets paid he puts £500 into a reg savers account. They can learn, but some take longer to get it than others. I paid off his overdraft 3 times, and he still ended up in it. (I was not working, he was).

You can still do this on your own, but it is so frustrating to see them piddling their money up the wall because 'I am not the kind of man who takes his own sandwiches to work:rotfl:. Funny chap. Lovely bloke, but we have completely separate bank accounts for a reason.
20 years of marriage. It can work fine.

Kerry_Woman

Challenge – Do more self-care. Still doing my 365 days of self care journal and 365 tiny love challenges. Finished reading a book. The books I ordered came today, so will start reading the first of the two books. The second book is a follow on from the first. Looking forward to be reading them.
Organise. This I must to. Used what I had in. Also written in my notebook somethings that need to be done regarding my move. Made a list of things I need to get/do for tomorrow.
Exercise Did my usual lap around the park.
NSD 17/20. NSD achieved today.
Christmas This is already sorted. Have put money into a savings account each month for the year. Immediate family all get money. Christmas will be a difficult time for me so I will concentrate on self-care. Will decide after 2nd December - my Mum's first anniversary of her death.
Banned - Not needed today.
Extra Income No surveys done today.
Report - Reporting in.

mothernerd

Chandelier sorry to hear you are not feeling great. Make sure you employ all your coping strategies and find as many new ones as possible.



Perhaps you could invent reasons to celebrate - make up sort of 'I spy' game and write a list of changes you might see - five trees without a single leaf, a spider's web cvered in frost, first robin etc. When I worked very early mornings I would take 5 minutes to sit on a bench before going home to start waking the boys for their paper rounds. Even on the gloomiest days I would find something beautiful or to wonder at - the pattern of the branches against the sky, a violet tinge to a cloud or a funny shaped one.


Try doing the 3 gratitudes at the end of the day (up to you whether you add them in your post or not).


You suggest that having something to plan for is important to you - could you set youself mini challenges ? Suggestions:-


Monetary - 3 NSDs in a row, 100 days saving challenge, try cooking something you would usually buy (coleslaw/ naan bread/ fakeaway).



Extending your horizons - home spa weekend (diet detox, lots of walks and exercise, warm bath and face mask, pedicure, smother yourself with moisturiser). Create something (there are lots of art therapy exercise on pinterest. Read an inspiring biography or a travel book for somewhere you've not been.


House and home. Housework challenge. List any minor alterations/ repairs (the things that never get done but annoy you, like a drawer that doesn't pull out or go back properly) and find out how to fix them yourself. Work out a revamp of a room without spending money - could the furniture be a better lay out, put away anything that has been there so long you no longer 'see' it, use a bedcover to change the appearance of a chair.


Invent something to celebrate. Recently read a post (not sure if it was spoof as I could not find it later) about a little boy who had invented a 'Wolf spirit' day to be celebrated in november - by invoking the good qualities of a wolf, all those who had dogs or liked dogs should recieve extra small gifts to celebrate the relationship. When I looked after several small children and they were getting fretful/ bored and niggling one another, we sometimes had an 'unbirthday' party (from Alice in wonderland, you have one birthday in the year, all the other days are your unbirthday). We would make hats and party food (use what you have - I once used mixed pickles on sticks as I could not go out to buy anything), play games and music. Indoor picnics are also good if the weather isn't good - we had a large piece of green baize but you can just use a 'picnic' blanket and eat sitting on the floor (again good for using up odds and ends that might seem peculiar in other circumstances).


I do realise you aren't six years old but you can adapt these suggestions. Also remember you don't have to be 'busy' all the time. If you are run down, it's perfectly acceptable to sit wrapped in a blanket on the couch and watch a film or a box set with a cup of tea/ hot chocolate/ soup. If you feel guilty have a pen and notebook to hand and call it a future planning day.

mothernerd

Hugs thrifty. If it's any consolation at least he is nearby and not working 300 miles away.

mothernerd

A NSD for me. Quiet day, lots of sleeping. Well enough to get in the bath and wash my hair. Ate around 5pm. Some reclcling out and a few bits but went dizzy again. Going to try a bit more in a while.


Today I am grateful for guilt free sleep, for a lovely restful bath and clean hair and for what I got done yesterday.

apple_muncher

Today I am grateful for woods to walk through, for finding a few bits in the ch shops, for getting what I was looking for in liddle, for time with dh, for cutting out 4 more bunnies + clothes, for a quick chat with 'new' neighbour's son, for finding a couple of books I wanted on amzn (I only looked there because the b00kpeeple webpage was s l o w - and I got them cheaper!), for finding a swim school for dd with spaces for next week, for still getting a few rasps off the canes.

lcc86

Managed another NSD today so am up to 12 for the month. Back in the office, all working from home is cancelled as we have an inspection coming up (just after I leave so I escape the madness). Student loan payment came in today,my course fees are on a 0% card so paid that straight off, a nice relief. Martin has taught me not to fear student loans and it's one of the main reasons I went back to do my Masters :money:

Early night tonight, can't be bothered to wash up so am just going to leave it for the morning bit of a horsey weekend coming up interspersed with cleaning and studying.

plumduff55

I can't believe I've actually had a NSD while on holiday. Never happened before :j . I was sorely tempted a few times managed to hold out.

EXERCISE - Whilst out I asked ds to drop me off about 20 minutes walk from his house to give me a bit of exercise. Not much but better than nothing.

Not much else achieved but enjoying my holiday xx

thriftylass

Thanks for the replies. My consolation is that at least it's not getting worse. I haven't had to bail him out yet (as in pay his OD off, although footing family holiday bills is s bit like it?). And the amount left on the CC plus the new OD put together is the same as the old OD he's been living in for 15 years since I met him.

Not totally thought through my approach but first step was to tell him, no we're not having that Chinese tomorrow after your race (don't care that it is a half marathon) as we can't afford it.

Also I need to built a backbone myself first i.e. not say yeah, let's get some drinks, it's Friday, yeah, let's go and get overpriced fancy prawns to add to the chicken pasta dish. Hard to explain, but I think rather than totally confront him (after letting him do it his way with my help, honestly) I need to start to learn to say No.

Anyway, he's away tomorrow and I'll have time to properly think this through, or maybe I'm already overthinking this.....

Don't think a big sit down chat would work but I'll use this thread for accountability and report every little progress/change etc

Night night

sashanut

Hi all :j


Hugs to those feeling a bit ill or down, good advice from Mothernerd re finding the joy in the everyday....Thrifty I hope you get your OH on board but you know whether a softly softly approach would work better than a confrontation...you need to pull together & it sounds like he is not being fair..

Challenge: Oops forgot this one yesterday! Don't smoke & rarely drink either, so it has to be giving up unhealthy snacks. Snacks mainly healthy today. Fruit, nuts, yog...but a couple of fave gingers biscs too.

Organise. Start as you mean to go on. Know the contents of your fridge, freezer and cupboards. Plan your meals around them. Cook from scratch. Don't buy anything you can make unless cost /time taken dictates otherwise. If you are new to turtle challenges or still have full cupboards you could try living from the cupboards. Lunch was sandwiches etc with hg toms for me, supper was the Chinese I've been putting off making all week....was sorely tempted by the takeaway (been feeling rough all week). Then discovered the cheap deal is only Tues-Thurs gutted. Put on big girl pants & made it. Better for the wallet & waistline, or so I keep telling myself.

Regular budget items should be set by 1st October. If you don't know how much you are spending on food or petrol, now is the time to find out. Question every purchase - need or want? To shops today as had to pick up DHs new glasses. A fair few purchases in at least 4 shops, but mainly bargains.

No Spend Days. Aim for 20 (high target) or 15 (low). Am aiming for 15 but hoping for more. Still 12/15.


Improvise. Make do and mend with a creative twist. think of a substitute ingredient, how to make an old/broken piece of furniture last a little longer. DH bought some stuff to repair the broken bit in the driveway, I got some paint mixed at BnQ for the front door.


Exercise Four times a week at least (20 minutes minimum but can be done 10 minutes at a time). Get outside in daylight as often as possible. Outside this afternoon as a fine day again but no painting as DH didn't come out to help & was shouty when asked why he'd not come out after 45 mins. Refrained from comments about being glued to Twitter instead of in the real world. So no painting done today. Dogs had a lovely run round though!

Christmas Bought a few alcohol related gifts & a couple of advent calendars today.

Banned Will only be chippys normally with the odd takeaway planned for a celebration etc. No takeaways today. - although it was a close call


Extra Income and Extra time Not today

Report in, daily if possible I'm here..


Go turtles !!