Woman’s agenda

Katy76

Hello, I have been with my partner nearly 8 years. We live together with a mortgage. I am 29 and he is 32.

Recently a woman at my partner’s work invited him to go cycling with her. This woman is very active, goes running daily and cycling a lot doing time trial etc. My boyfriend isn’t close to her at work she is just someone he sees in passing, I would describe her as a work acquaintance. This woman also only works 2 days a week at my partner’s work so he doesn’t see her everyday. This woman is in her early 50s.

So my partner did a time trial with her and then another occasion on a weekend did a long cycle just the two of them. I never thought anything of this.

Then on Friday my boyfriend had annual leave and was planning to go cycling with the woman. However, he changed his mind due to the weather forecast so text her to cancel. He then drove back to the city where his family live to visit them.

After he cancelled my boyfriend phoned me up to tell me after he text the woman, she replied saying “that’s a shame I was looking forward to seeing you :-/ “ which both me and my boyfriend found a little odd. Then when my boyfriend came back to our house after the weekend with family he showed me the text where I saw she had also sent him a few texts over the past few weeks trying to make conversation. For example after she said she was sad they cancelled the cycle she then text again asking how was his drive home. I found it odd she was trying to get some kind of conversation going.

Am I being paranoid or does this woman like my boyfriend romantically?

pimento

If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck it's usually a duck.

hazyjo

Sounds to me like she's reading stuff into it. Maybe he's been sweet, kind, nice or attentive to her and she's misread it.


It's very difficult to say to someone 'back off, I'm not interested' when they've not said something, so he needs to cool it with her, or let her know in a subtle way that he's not interested. Bang on about how much he loves you, or ask her for suggestions for something special that you might like for an anniversary present or something. Something he's doing is giving her the wrong impression. It could simply be that he's 'being nice'. Some 'friends' read into situations... get him to watch Fatal Attraction with you. That'll get him nervous enough to cool things!


Saying that, I do find it incredibly strange that your OH went on a weekend cycle with an vague acquaintance from work...!

Jenniefour

Agree with above. No, you're not being paranoid, this woman may well fancy your boyfriend - and he sounds a little bit naive, to be honest.

Comms69

It depends, she may be romantically interested or she may just want a friend. It’s hard enough to make new friends; so common interests e.g. cycling is usually a good starting point.

If she only works two days a week there she may struggle to form any kind of relationship either personal or professional and frankly might just be lonely.

annandale

I was looking forward to seeing you isn’t the most provocative phrase on the planet is it

annandale

Why would someone who works part time struggle to form a relationship. Millions of people work part time. Many have families.

Comms69

annandale wrote: »

Why would someone who works part time struggle to form a relationship. Millions of people work part time. Many have families.

I mean with people at work*

Katy76

No it isn’t the most provocative phrase - that’s why I have wrote this post, because it is not clear to me what her agenda is.

Mojisola

hazyjo wrote: »

Bang on about how much he loves you, or ask her for suggestions for something special that you might like for an anniversary present or something.

This woman is a causal work colleague - I wouldn't involve her in his relationship - more important to keep her at arm's length so that she realises they can be cycling buddies but nothing else.

annandale

Why does she need to have an agenda? They went for a cycle at the weekend and she said she was looking forward to seeing him when he cancelled

Do you trust your partner? If you do you have nothing to worry about. Do you?