Son doesn't seem to care

ska_lover

Comms69 wrote: »

But the parents at that stage can tell them where he lives now. They will also check electoral roll, credit reference agencies (which record addresses when obtaining more credit) etc.

Yes indeedy

Pixie5740

calleyw wrote: »

Yep your parents are enabling your brother. And so many parents do it. Think they are helping but it's the opposite. People need to learn to stand on their own two feet.


Going to have a massive shock once your parents have retired and don't have the income to sub or once they die and your brother having to manage on what they have.

I've tried pointing this out to my mum but she got upset and started crying and my mum isn't a cryer. She claims she does it for her grandchildren but that doesn't explain the years before they came along.

All I know is that when my parents are no longer here and he needs money he's getting the square root of SFA from me.

unholyangel

ska_lover wrote: »

Hi Unholy angel

I really don't know the answer to your question, but the only thing I am certain of, is that they will proceed to attempt to chase the debt, at the last known address of the debtor, where the debt was taken out. But hopefully a word at the door, and being told would suffice

It would be interesting to know though

When I moved in to my home, it emerged over a few months that the previous owners were in debt to their eye balls as there were mounds of debt collection agency letters turning up. I opened one of them to check and then returned ever single one to sender, end of story. Took a good couple of years for the letters to stop though, as there were so many

Hi,

I've had sheriff officers turn up at my door, looking to seize goods for rent/council tax debt a friend owed, friend had only lived with me 8 weeks some years previous to their visit. I didn't even show them anything - told them I'd informed the council in writing when he had moved out (i was living alone before he stayed so had to notify them for council tax purposes), that they should refer it back to their client (the council) and remind them that they have a duty under DPA to keep information accurate & up to date. Never heard from them again, so it can be that easy although I appreciate its not always the case.

They can't just ignore evidence that doesn't suit them and if anyone does experience a bailiff or debt collector doing this then they should make a complaint about their conduct - although who you want to complain to will depend on what type of debt they're enforcing. Likewise if the bailiff threatens to seize goods that don't belong to the debtor.

calleyw

Pixie5740 wrote: »

I've tried pointing this out to my mum but she got upset and started crying and my mum isn't a cryer. She claims she does it for her grandchildren but that doesn't explain the years before they came along.

All I know is that when my parents are no longer here and he needs money he's getting the square root of SFA from me.

Like a lot of parents they keep subbing their children before they had children and when the children arrive they are used as emotional lever. Begs the question why did they have children they could not afford?



Some people always expect others to pick up the tab be it parents or the state.


Pixie, glad to hear that. I would be the same. Some people never learn and your brother is going to get a very rude awakening.



Yours


Calley x

JIL

For him to face up to his problem then he has to be part of the solution.

There are phone numbers on this very site, you can phone explain your fears as to the effect on you and possibly of bailiffs.

https://www.moneysavingexpert.com/loans/debt-help-plan/

I have had an issue with one of my adult children, spent a fortune on clothes and top end accessories. Loans to pay the store cards off, cash withdrawan on credit cards to pay for holidays. When we discovered what was going on we paid them off and helped do a budget. Less than a year later the letters started to arrive again. I didn't open them but knew it was happening again.
This time it was a case of saying as long as the board money was paid each month they could stay. Apart from that I had no interest in their debts.
Amazingly they actually took more interest and sorted them out.

TBagpuss

OP, it's unfortunate that your son hasn't learned. It is likely that the best thing you and your wife can do is to stop enabling him. Don't pay any more of his debts for him, and dot pay for his car etc in future.

Let him know that you are happy to offer advice and help if he wants it with planning a budget etc but that you won't be able to bail him out financially.

You credit record should not be affected as long as you don't have anything in joint names with him. Check your own credit record with the main providers and correct any errors , I think you can also file a notice of disassociation to make clearer that you are not financially linked.

In terms of bailiffs, they cannot normally come into a house unless invited, although if you let them in once they can come in (e.g through an open window or unlocked door) in future. So if they come round, always step outside to speak to them on the door step, don't allow them in.

They can only take things belonging to your son, so make sure that you keep receipts for any significant purchases you make. Also, in the event that they did seek to take something which belongs to you, you should warn them that they will be liable for costs of recovering the goods. You can also make a complaint (within 7 days of anything being removed) and if that is ignored or the goods are not returned, you can apply to court to have them returned to you (at which point you could also claim costs)

I think in practice, the bailiffs are likely to take into account how reasonable what you are saying sounds - if you explain you are his parents, it's your home, and your son is just a lodger, then they are likely to accept that it is unlikely that stuff like TV in the living room belongs to you, than if (say) the reverse was true and you were lodging in his home but claiming all the big ticket items were yours.

Rotor

Mummy2cheekymonkeys wrote: »

Completely agree with others. My sister and brother in law are the same. They are always getting bailed out so they continue to make the same mistakes over and over as they never have to actually suffer the consequences of their actions. I got into credit card debt when living at home but I refused to tell my parents about it. I wored extra hours, paid it all off and having suffered for it I now refuse to be in that situation again. My dad always told me when I was younger not to get a credit card but you have to learn by your own mistakes. If you pay his debts for him and he never has to worry he will never learn his lesson. Good luck.

Is that a 'k' you missed out of that word or an 'h'? Not that I'm judging

annandale

Bailiffs (also called ‘enforcement agents’) visiting your home can be a stressful experience but you have rights and you shouldn’t be bullied.

Bailiffs are only allowed to try to come into your home between 6am and 9pm.

You shouldn't let a bailiff into your home - it’s always best to try to sort out your debt by keeping them outside and speaking through the door or over the phone.

Make sure your doors are locked and your windows are closed - bailiffs are allowed to come in through unlocked doors. If you have a porch with a lockable door you should lock this too.

Depending on the kind of debt you owe, the bailiff will sometimes have the right to force entry by asking a locksmith to open your door if you won’t let them in. It’s very unlikely they’ll do this - you should still have the chance to pay without them coming in.

Call 999 if you're being physically threatened by a bailiff - don't let them into your home.

Mummy2cheekymonkeys

Rotor wrote: »

Is that a 'k' you missed out of that word or an 'h'? Not that I'm judging

Haha definitely a K. Not sure which would have paid my debts quicker though lol.