Son doesn't seem to care

fibonarchie

Think it might be useful for the OP to have a definitive answer to whether the bailiffs can (or will) come knocking. This link seems to answer the question

https://www.talkaboutdebt.co.uk/question-answer/bailiffs/can-bailiffs-take-my-stuff-if-debts-are-my-son-because-he-lives-me/

..so the OP is right to be concerned. Personally I'd die of shame if the bailiffs came round to my parents house because of me, but this lad doesn't seem to care.

I'm also intrigued as to what on earth he can be spending all that money on!

dawyldthing

Plus it’s the car too. I see folk with posh cars, keeping up appearance but you know what - on the whole it’s like having a mortgage when you add it all up.

My mum never bailed me out, if I was really stuck she would have tried to help I guess but I’m grateful for that as it meant I knew that if I didn’t have the money, I didn’t have it.

Until he realises that he will be spending his money on all expensive stuff without seeing the bigger picture. You’ll never change him while you keep bailing him out!

unholyangel

fibonarchie wrote: »

Think it might be useful for the OP to have a definitive answer to whether the bailiffs can (or will) come knocking. This link seems to answer the question

https://www.talkaboutdebt.co.uk/question-answer/bailiffs/can-bailiffs-take-my-stuff-if-debts-are-my-son-because-he-lives-me/

..so the OP is right to be concerned. Personally I'd die of shame if the bailiffs came round to my parents house because of me, but this lad doesn't seem to care.

I'm also intrigued as to what on earth he can be spending all that money on!

I don't think anyone has disagreed that bailiffs can knock on the door - just as they could knock on the door looking for someone you've never heard of.

The dissent is over is whether they can assume that everything in the house - where someone else has proven they are the owner/tenant, not the debtor - belongs to the debtor.

Comms69

fibonarchie wrote: »

Think it might be useful for the OP to have a definitive answer to whether the bailiffs can (or will) come knocking. This link seems to answer the question

https://www.talkaboutdebt.co.uk/question-answer/bailiffs/can-bailiffs-take-my-stuff-if-debts-are-my-son-because-he-lives-me/

..so the OP is right to be concerned. Personally I'd die of shame if the bailiffs came round to my parents house because of me, but this lad doesn't seem to care.

I'm also intrigued as to what on earth he can be spending all that money on!

Bailiffs can knock on ANY door. Whether they could take anything is a totally different story.


I had bailiffs knock on a few months after moving house - for the previous tenants.

Comms69

Pixie5740 wrote: »

My parents paid off my brother's unsecured debts from university. They continue to bail him out and sub him money. He is 34, a father of two and still can't budget to save himself. It was my nephews birthday last month and circa £500 was spent on his presents and then my brother had to borrow money to pay the rent. Not so long ago he mentioned inheritance to my mum to which she replied, "what inheritance, you'll have spent it all before we die."

Don't make the same mistakes as my parents. Let your son stand on his own two feet.

My ex is the same when it comes to birthdays and Christmas - the latter is usually more than £1,000 just on the kids!


I wont be supporting that this year.

Gavin83

Some people are assuming the worst, suggesting bailiffs, etc but is this debt actually a problem? OP, is this merely debt or bad debt? As you're the type of person who believes in never getting in debt it's possible you're seeing this as a much more serious matter than it actually is. Being in a few hundred pound debt on a credit card really isn't that much of a problem as long as it's under control.

I do agree with the majority though, back off, stop treating him like a child and let him deal with your own debt.

ska_lover wrote: »

sounds really harsh when I say it like that

You're right, it does. If I was your son I'd be moving out and seriously assessing how much time I wanted to waste with you in my life. The irony being you'd probably be sitting there wondering why your son has very limited contact with you, blaming him, failing to see the blame lies much closer to home. It's a huge breach of trust and typically I don't wish to have people in my life I can't trust. Each to their own though.

fibonarchie

Comms69 wrote: »

Bailiffs can knock on ANY door. Whether they could take anything is a totally different story.


I had bailiffs knock on a few months after moving house - for the previous tenants.

Did you read the article?

where there is a requirement on a bailiff to enter peaceably they are still permitted to walk through an unlocked door or open window and therefore it is best to keep these locked.

A bailiff can only seize goods belonging to the debtor, but the onus is on you or your son to prove ownership. A bailiff is also restricted as to what he can or cannot seize, however he would have a right to look in every room of the house.

There's no point in being all teenage and rebellious about it, - bailiffs could come round to the parents house and there could be a messy situation. OP is right to be concerned. See the bit in bold.

kazwookie

1. STOP paying his debts.
2. Mum and Dad to sit him down in an adult way, and explain about budgets for the month and what is left over some for saving and some for spending.

Comms69

fibonarchie wrote: »

Did you read the article?



There's no point in being all teenage and rebellious about it, - bailiffs could come round to the parents house and there could be a messy situation. OP is right to be concerned. See the bit in bold.

Read the article? Ofcourse not - because I understand the law...


Like I said it's largely irrelevant.


Bailiffs:
1: Don't want to seize anything, they get pennies to the pound
2: Are bound by strict legislation, mostly theyre just looking for payment


BUT before all that there are default notice, pre action letters, court letters, letters from bailiffs.... There is SOOO much advance notice that this would not be a surprise

pickledonionspaceraider

unholyangel wrote: »

The debt is not registered there. Debts are registered to people, not addresses. What proof will they have that the debtor does live there?

More to the point, there is a reasonable assumption that the owner/tenant owns whatever is in their home unless the contrary is proven (which is often why they seize goods in the debtors home unless they're given proof it belongs to someone else)....except in this case the owner/tenant is one or both parents, not the debtor.

There have been examples of this on cant pay. They left empty handed.

It is more a case of they having no proof that the debtor doesn't live there, so they will proceed chasing at the last known address - where the debt was taken on