Marriage feels like a gamble, what's the point?

sheramber

I am totally convinced that people need to be strong enough to wait for The One (

Why, there is no law says you have to get married, form a relationship , whatever.

You make it sound you must clutch at straws to have that 'special one'.


I met my husband when I was 16, engaged at 19 and married at 21. have been married for 51 years and looking forward to many more.

Neither of us are the same people as when we met but we have evolved together. We agree to differ on many things but compromise is a must.

mark5

I got married because my ex wanted to, I was quite happy just living together. I'm in the middle of a divorce now and getting totally screwed financially.
The biggest mistake of my life as far as I'm concerned.

catkins

I know quite a lot of couples whose marriages have lasted and, more importantly, seem happy.

My parents have been married 66 years, brother 36 years, sister 37 years. Me and DH 39 years. I have 4 cousins, 3 have been married at least 26 years and one is divorced. They got divorced because once married my cousin "discovered" his wife didn't want children (apparently they didn't discuss it before they got married). All family members only been married once.

I also have friends that have been married for over 30 years although I also have friends that are on second, third or even fourth marriages.

fibonarchie

catkins wrote: »

I know quite a lot of couples whose marriages have lasted and, more importantly, seem happy.

My parents have been married 66 years, brother 36 years, sister 37 years. Me and DH 39 years. I have 4 cousins, 3 have been married at least 26 years and one is divorced. They got divorced because once married my cousin "discovered" his wife didn't want children (apparently they didn't discuss it before they got married). All family members only been married once.

I also have friends that have been married for over 30 years although I also have friends that are on second, third or even fourth marriages.

That's brilliant, but the trouble is, a lot of children these days don't have that example to follow. They're totally used to being introduced to various different 'uncles' by mummy, or to daddy's new love interest(s). They've never known a stable family envionment because of the parents' oh-so-fashionable love of 'blended families' .. and so the cycle perpetuates

clairec79

Surely if you look on marriage as a gamble then any relationship is - it may or may not last

PasturesNew

sheramber wrote: »

I am totally convinced that people need to be strong enough to wait for The One (
...

I did that ... not holding my breath any more.

Comms69

PasturesNew wrote: »

I did that ... not holding my breath any more.

Or worse you met the one but it didn’t work out!

Atleast feels that way sometimes.

You end up going over things in your head; wondering why yo did what you did.

But then maybe it wasn’t really the one....

Poor_Single_lady

By "the one" I think (assume) she means someone that she loves rather than someone that is convenient.

I agree really. Lots of my friends married convenient partners and it doesn't always have very much to do with love.

Deep_In_Debt

I was in a relationship for 19 years. We lived together for 17 of those years. Never felt the need to get married - we were mostly happy the way we were. No kids. I've been single a good few years now and quite happy.



My best friend has been in a relationship for 35 years. They decided to get married a couple of months ago, purely for financial reasons - inheritance, pensions etc. No kids.

moneyistooshorttomention

PasturesNew wrote: »

I did that ... not holding my breath any more.

Me neither these days - but the thought crosses my mind once in a while that "It ain't over till the fat lady sings":rotfl: