any housewives out there?

fibonarchie

fred246 wrote: »

I did notice a similar thread to this one seemed to have been removed in its entirety. I think the problem is that there are just too many permutations to make debate meaningful. I started posting because we have just finished bringing up our children and with my wife not working we seem to be richer than our friends who have both worked. We sort of lived a 1950s life with me doing DIY and her traditional cooking and needlework. A lot of people just don't have those skills anymore. We both enjoy what we do. After posting here I offered to do more cooking. My wife has firmly rejected the offer.

All very good points. With careful budgetting it IS possible (in fact sometimes better) to live on one wage, and to look after your house and children.

Sadly it does get some people's backs up who are not so careful with their budgetting and who like the idea of being a career woman or whatever. I think if you decide to have children their wellbeing should come first :T However, that's an old fashioned view nowadays, and certain people get narked by it. I guess it must hit a raw nerve with a lot of them who in their heart of hearts would rather be looking after the home, husband and children, but instead go out to do paid work, much of which goes on the childminder's fees anyway!!

fibonarchie

Grezz24 wrote: »

I cant believe how much drivel is coming out of you fibonarchie, boggles the mind how you actually survive living day to day.

If you don't like the thread don't contribute to it.

Red-Squirrel_2

fred246 wrote: »

After posting here I offered to do more cooking. My wife has firmly rejected the offer.

A suggestion, learn to cook really well, go to a class if you want. I bet she won't turn you down when you can do a great job of it!

fred246

Red-Squirrel wrote: »

A suggestion, learn to cook really well, go to a class if you want. I bet she won't turn you down when you can do a great job of it!

When I went to school we were one of the first years were the boys and girls all did metalwork, woodwork, needlework and cookery. There was so little time for every subject that nobody achieved competence in anything. So there was equality but the outcome didn't seem good. My wife wants to do the shopping and cooking which are inextricably interlinked and she is very good at both. It would take me years to reach that standard. I will spend my time on other tasks. I will do complex car repairs that would cost a small fortune for a garage to do. It would take her a long time to learn how to do such tasks. If we both had to do exactly the same tasks there would be equality but no advantage. We seem to do far better each having our own agreed tasks.

maman

fred246 wrote: »

When I went to school we were one of the first years were the boys and girls all did metalwork, woodwork, needlework and cookery. There was so little time for every subject that nobody achieved competence in anything. So there was equality but the outcome didn't seem good. My wife wants to do the shopping and cooking which are inextricably interlinked and she is very good at both. It would take me years to reach that standard. I will spend my time on other tasks. I will do complex car repairs that would cost a small fortune for a garage to do. It would take her a long time to learn how to do such tasks. If we both had to do exactly the same tasks there would be equality but no advantage. We seem to do far better each having our own agreed tasks.

I have to agree with you to a point although I think your situation may be a generational thing.


There's a big difference between choosing to share the tasks out as to your individual skills and aptitudes and being completely clueless in certain life skills.


It's admirable that you are still able to service/repair the car. If you couldn't at any point then your wife would simply have to do what most of us do and use a garage. Advice on reputable local garages and the basics of car care and tax/insurance/MOT would be useful to her though.


In comparison (and I know this doesn't apply to you), being able to cook and shop (ideally economically) is an essential skill unless you're going to employ a chef or live on ready meals!


Without being morbid, we hear too often about men who are clueless about 'keeping house' when widowed or women in the same position who, for example, know nothing about bills and finance.

tara747

jackieblack wrote: »

But where would it stop?
We all, to some greater or lesser degree, employ people to do jobs that we are responsible for, as adults/parents/homeowners, but are unable (lack of skills, ability or time) or unwilling to do ourselves.
If housewives were paid to mind their children or clean their own house etc, where would it end?
Would people also expect to be paid to do their own gardening? Clean their own windows? Would people who service their own cars or do their own plumbing jobs expect to get paid for doing so?
What about dressmaking? Knitting? Washing their own car? Etc etc

If you choose to have a child, ensuring the child is cared for is the responsibility of the parents. If they are unable or unwilling to do that on a full time basis themselves, they can employ someone else to do so for some of the time on their behalf. That doesn't, IMO, mean that people making a difference choice should be compensated financially for doing so.

This! :T:T:T:T:T:T

Red-Squirrel_2

fred246 wrote: »

When I went to school we were one of the first years were the boys and girls all did metalwork, woodwork, needlework and cookery. There was so little time for every subject that nobody achieved competence in anything. So there was equality but the outcome didn't seem good. My wife wants to do the shopping and cooking which are inextricably interlinked and she is very good at both. It would take me years to reach that standard. I will spend my time on other tasks. I will do complex car repairs that would cost a small fortune for a garage to do. It would take her a long time to learn how to do such tasks. If we both had to do exactly the same tasks there would be equality but no advantage. We seem to do far better each having our own agreed tasks.

My mistake, I assumed your offer to her was sincere.

fred246

Red-Squirrel wrote: »

My mistake, I assumed your offer to her was sincere.

My offer was sincere. My wife loves going round markets, chatting to butchers looking what food looks good, what's in season. As she shops she plans her meals. She's done it for years. Food is her passion. I eat great restaurant quality meals every day. If I try to cook something I mess all her plans up. If I did half the shopping and half the cooking it would be mayhem. I can only assume that you don't really like cooking and would rather have a partner do it for you.

Red-Squirrel_2

fred246 wrote: »

My offer was sincere. My wife loves going round markets, chatting to butchers looking what food looks good, what's in season. As she shops she plans her meals. She's done it for years. Food is her passion. I eat great restaurant quality meals every day. If I try to cook something I mess all her plans up. If I did half the shopping and half the cooking it would be mayhem. I can only assume that you don't really like cooking and would rather have a partner do it for you.

Ok, but if she loves cooking so much that you know she wouldn't want even one day off from from it, then it seems a strange choice of duty for you to offer to share.

Why don’t you take over the laundry or the bathroom cleaning then? Nobody loves those!

hollydays

maman wrote: »

I have to agree with you to a point although I think your situation may be a generational thing.


There's a big difference between choosing to share the tasks out as to your individual skills and aptitudes and being completely clueless in certain life skills.


It's admirable that you are still able to service/repair the car. If you couldn't at any point then your wife would simply have to do what most of us do and use a garage. Advice on reputable local garages and the basics of car care and tax/insurance/MOT would be useful to her though.


In comparison (and I know this doesn't apply to you), being able to cook and shop (ideally economically) is an essential skill unless you're going to employ a chef or live on ready meals!


Without being morbid, we hear too often about men who are clueless about 'keeping house' when widowed or women in the same position who, for example, know nothing about bills and finance.

On that subject, it's funny isn't it, the way I have a number of women friends who revel in living on their own, but all my men friends hate it.
Asking my women friends, not having to pick up and wash someone's dirty socks , etc, is something they don't miss.Puts it into perspective doesn't it.