any housewives out there?

happyandcontented

ska_lover wrote: »

Normally I would agree with you, but the discussion, resulted in certain persons using this as a platform to repeatedly patronise others life choices.

That's not an adult discussion.

That is a person who is 'less than comfortable' with their own life choices, attempting to belittle another, in an attempt to feel better about their own choices

That is what irks me. A lot of people on here are of the 'live and let live' mindset, but some..have a different agenda

It is a discussion, one which takes in the gamut of views and opinions from across the board. There are bound to be those who phrase comments or baldy state things you/I/we find objectionable, that is what happens in an adult debate. Look at Question Time!

Most people justify their own choices to validate them, the discussion (and reflection) comes when you look at those choices objectively and justify them honestly to yourself.

Did I have to work to keep a roof over their heads?
Did I work because I wanted to?
Did I not work because I thought it was the easy route?
Have I made my kids overly dependent by not working?
Was the childcare I chose as good as it could be or was it chosen from expediency?
Has my partner paid the price of my not working in terms of bearing the load?
Could there have been a middle ground?

And, on, and on, there are lots of questions that, as parents, we can pose to ourselves and answer honestly.

I think there is lots of food for thought in this discussion and it need not polarise those who engage with it.

maman

ska_lover wrote: »

Normally I would agree with you, but the discussion, resulted in certain persons using this as a platform to repeatedly patronise others life choices.

That's not an adult discussion.

That is a person who is 'less than comfortable' with their own life choices, attempting to belittle another, in an attempt to feel better about their own choices

That is what irks me. A lot of people on here are of the 'live and let live' mindset, but some..have a different agenda

Strangely enough, I found it good to have an adult discussion with people like happyandcontented. She and I have seemed to have some opposing views but had, I thought, a polite articulate debate about it along with many other posters.


The irony was that IIRC the very person who started the thread was the one who wouldn't get into discussion just kept repeating the same view from the 1950s. I still don't think he can be genuine.

ska_lover

maman wrote: »

Strangely enough, I found it good to have an adult discussion with people like happyandcontented. She and I have seemed to have some opposing views but had, I thought, a polite articulate debate about it along with many other posters.


.

I dont mean that happyandcontented be one of the people who don't debate properly or patronise IMO, far from it - that poster has come across well. It is others that are using the post to patronise or put others down - I only quoted happyandcontented to make a point, not point any bad vibe at her/him

ska_lover

happyandcontented wrote: »

It is a discussion, one which takes in the gamut of views and opinions from across the board. There are bound to be those who phrase comments or baldy state things you/I/we find objectionable, that is what happens in an adult debate. Look at Question Time!

Most people justify their own choices to validate them, the discussion (and reflection) comes when you look at those choices objectively and justify them honestly to yourself.

Did I have to work to keep a roof over their heads?
Did I work because I wanted to?
Did I not work because I thought it was the easy route?
Have I made my kids overly dependent by not working?
Was the childcare I chose as good as it could be or was it chosen from expediency?
Has my partner paid the price of my not working in terms of bearing the load?
Could there have been a middle ground?

And, on, and on, there are lots of questions that, as parents, we can pose to ourselves and answer honestly.

I think there is lots of food for thought in this discussion and it need not polarise those who engage with it.

OH I agree, and am very much of an 'each to their own viewpoint' - it is just the patronising done my some (not you) that is unnecessary and I do find it infuriating as our lives are all so very different but certain persons judge a life they are not living, in circumstances they may never have faced.

fred246

My mum was a housewife. She had no car, tumble dryer or dishwasher. She had a twin tub washing machine. Coal fires. Quite a tight budget. No mobile phones. Telephone on party line-remember those? Always cooked own food. My wife is a housewife. Has always had her own car, automatic washing machine, tumble dryer and dish washer, central heating. Has gym membership and used the creche. Coffee mornings. Regular lunches out with friends. Social media keeps them in touch with each other. When home insurance says "Is home occupied during the day?" I never know what to put. My wife is a housewife but not often at home.
My dad loved work. Happiest time of his life. Nice group of people. Always playing tricks on each other. Fish & chips every day (healthy eating not invented then). He was always proud to have a nice car.
Nobody seems happy at work these days. So much stress. Even potentially very rewarding jobs aren't. I think women in the 1950s would have wanted to swap with their husbands but now maybe it's different.

maman

fred246 wrote: »

My mum was a housewife. She had no car, tumble dryer or dishwasher. She had a twin tub washing machine. Coal fires. Quite a tight budget. No mobile phones. Telephone on party line-remember those? Always cooked own food. My wife is a housewife. Has always had her own car, automatic washing machine, tumble dryer and dish washer, central heating. Has gym membership and used the creche. Coffee mornings. Regular lunches out with friends. Social media keeps them in touch with each other. When home insurance says "Is home occupied during the day?" I never know what to put. My wife is a housewife but not often at home.
My dad loved work. Happiest time of his life. Nice group of people. Always playing tricks on each other. Fish & chips every day (healthy eating not invented then). He was always proud to have a nice car.
Nobody seems happy at work these days. So much stress. Even potentially very rewarding jobs aren't. I think women in the 1950s would have wanted to swap with their husbands but now maybe it's different.

Sorry you feel that way about your job fred. I agree there is a lot more pressure these days.


What you've posted about your wife is my view of being a housewife too. That's why I know it's not for me. That's also why I was adamant earlier in the thread when some poster(s) was trying to make out it was a 24/7 job.


Of course there are exceptions such as with several very small children or being a carer for someone vulnerable but generally I think it's relatively straightforward to organise your housework and still have loads of time left for yourself.....or work!:D

blindman

Tabbytabitha wrote: »

Interesting that you don't list lover in your wife's skill set but perhaps we shouldn't pry.:D

Like most men, you don't seem to appreciate the difference between the list of responsibilities you have and those you list as hers - perhaps you should ask her about this....

As a woman you missed the point;)

We each do the jobs required to keep a happy and thriving household.

My list is not "responsibilities" but jobs I can (and mostly like) do and ones Mrs B would rather not

Her list is similar, though TBHO the only one I cannot do is bear children;)

I do most of the laundry and being ex military-the ironing:rotfl:
I vacuum, and can sew buttons on shirts.

I have basic skills at cooking and am sure if I had enough time I'd be Ok.

My responsibilities in this marriage is to look after my wife and children-as is hers.

That is impossible to quantify in ££££££'s

fred246

I did notice a similar thread to this one seemed to have been removed in its entirety. I think the problem is that there are just too many permutations to make debate meaningful. I started posting because we have just finished bringing up our children and with my wife not working we seem to be richer than our friends who have both worked. We sort of lived a 1950s life with me doing DIY and her traditional cooking and needlework. A lot of people just don't have those skills anymore. We both enjoy what we do. After posting here I offered to do more cooking. My wife has firmly rejected the offer.

Both_Feet_on_Terra_Firma

This is a debate that will never end the same as breast versus bottle whatever makes you happy then do it life is too short to worry and for the record i stayed at home with my twinies and bottle fed them but i dont think anything less of someone who worked and breast fed

Grezz24

I cant believe how much drivel is coming out of you fibonarchie, boggles the mind how you actually survive living day to day.