Made A Terrible Mistake

NeilCr

Pollycat wrote: »

Of course it's possible that the wife knows all about this affair but is sticking her head in the sand for some reason that works for her - maybe she doesn't want what is probably a pretty comfortable lifestyle to end.

Or maybe she is off having her own fun with a work colleague.
Maybe they have an open marriage.

Did wonder this myself.

I mentioned a couple of my friends who had affairs with married men. One of the guys, as I said, had six kids. The perceived wisdom from those who knew him and his wife (it was a work thing) was that she "turned a blind eye" as she was happy at home with the kids and he earned enough to keep them all comfortably.

There was a school of thought that if she felt he was getting too serious with someone else she got pregnant again.

FBaby

What is very sad is that I do believe you OP that you will consider involve him in the life of your baby, but I suspect the moment the penny finally drops that 'all' he gets is a relationship with his baby and not with you, he'll run a mile. I hope I'm wrong, but I've seen how some man only show an interest for a child when they are interested in the mother, one such man being a very close family member. Of course he then regretted his decision and deep inside hoped that the child would get in touch with him as an adult. He never did. Such is life! I just hope the mum met someone else who took on the role of dad to that child and that's the reason why he never cared to get to know his biological father.

Loz01

Pollycat wrote: »

I think she deserves to know the truth too.
But it's her husband's responsibility to drop that bombshell, not the OP's.

Sorry, yes I didnt put that in, but I agree its up to HIM to reveal it to his wife, not the OP.

Pollycat

ajak81 wrote: »

I found the merging of threads to be quite confusing at first the way the posting reads it seems to be in the same style and syntax as the original poster so why did they choose to merge the two threads?

Is this something the MSE forum managers often do? Is it because this thread has become so long and so many people watching it? Either way are the OP and the new thread the same person? No problem if it is just would like to know as it's confusing.

I totally understand if the posts are two separate people but equally I understand if the two posts are the same person. Sometimes people want to be anonymous and post under a different name to represent a different aspect of the story perhaps?

The 2 stories - from Mylife as the OP and Hellsbellss who started her own thread yesterday late evening - are substantially different.
I can see no reason whatsoever for the 2 threads to be merged.
I'm not sure if board guides can merge threads.
But whoever has merged the threads needs to reverse it and reinstate Hellsbellss new thread and leave Mylife's thread specifically for her issue.

Pollycat

ajak81 wrote: »

Ahh thanks for the clarification so they're two separate stories by two separate people! Thanks!
I also agree that they should be separated as one takes away from the other.

Fundamental differences are that the OP of this thread says the wife of her lover is unaware of the affair.
Hellsbellss ex lover's wife very clearly knows about the affair.
The OP of this thread is pregnant, Hellsbellss isn't (or hasn't said she is).
2 very different posters with very different stories.

Sncjw

I don!!!8217;t think this is true because what normal person would want to name their two children the same name.

Pollycat

Sncjw wrote: »

I don!!!8217;t think this is true because what normal person would want to name their two children the same name.

Which story isn't true?
We have 2 different stories (albeit on a similar theme) from 2 different posters.


Who has named their 2 children with the same name?

Mylife

ajak81 we are not the same person, not sure why posts were merged.

Fbaby I do hope he is genuinely interested in being in the childs life not to get close to me. Unfortunately there is a lot of unsaid things between us. As soon as I discovered that I'm pregnant, I haven't really seen him. I have communicated via text, call and emails but I refuse to meet up. This obviously is frustrating to him ,he says we need to so we can discuss things. It's too early anyway if I have to see him it will be later rather than sooner. I will update him on any important appointments but will not ask him to accompany me.

sncjw the idea of the same name seemed crazy but surprisingly I kind of like the name as it's my brothers name as well. Anyway I will probably make that decision later/ towards birth.

LilElvis

Sncjw wrote: »

I don!!!8217;t think this is true because what normal person would want to name their two children the same name.

George Foreman, the former boxer, has five sons - all called George

Mylife

ajak81 you are spot on, I think it's a ploy, I do not trust he only wants to meet up to discuss the baby. Funnily today after work I passed through a large shopping mall , I went to one of the baby shops and was looking at nights, for a second I imagined how lovely it would be to do the shopping together but I came back to my senses. Anyway it's way too early but I can't help but be excited.

LilEvis that made me smile imagine all siblings with the same name, I will certainly choose a different name.

I have met his children and they are beautiful lovely kids. I have not met the wife , I have an inkling that she might suspect but because of his work it's difficult to know for sure( I mean he can easily use being at work as an excuse), also I doubt she would want to lose their comfortable lifestyle.......