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MeandO

Morning all,

A slightly calmer day today, only one trade here compared to the three of yesterday.  The work is noisy and ongoing, but it's not bothering me as much today and every day is progress.

I bought a new rug for the hallway this morning as, with the horrendous mess outside, there was already dust and dirt being walked through onto the new flooring. I also popped to B&M whilst I was out and found they had lots of x box related things that would be good for DS for Christmas and stocking fillers so I've picked up quite a few bits. I paid with cash from my purse, so it hasn't diminished the sorry-looking bank balance any further.

I don't need much shopping this weekend either, we seem to have plenty of everything so it will be nice not to have to go to a supermarket at the weekend for a change.

MeandO

I finally forced myself to paint the bathroom ceiling, so that is now done. Just the walls to do once I've bought paint. 
I also finished the downstairs loo renovation yesterday so that's another room ticked off the list. The walls were so bad in there that rather than have it re-plastered I bought some bathroom wall panels and installed those. Yesterday I finished the silicone around the panels and edging strips around the window reveal. The ceiling and skirting could probably do with painting, but I will do that another time, for now I'm happy to call it completed!
One of the blinds I'd ordered also arrived, so I put that up in the downstairs loo. Apparently the other two blinds are not arriving until October, so we'll have to flash the neighbours at night in the bathroom for a while longer, or just shower with the light off...

Work outside is continuing today and he seems to be making good progress. Hopefully they'll only be another couple of days worth of noisy work left, I hope.

MeandO

Hello all,

The exterior work has halted for a few days due to the labourer having suspected covid. I sympathise, but they've left building debris precariously balancing on my roof which is proving dangerous as it's heavy and sharp and bits keep falling off randomly. I've spoken to the 'boss' who hasn't done a lot about it than to say it will be dealt with upon said labourer's return. I'm not impressed. The way it's been done means my roof could also have been damaged, so that needs to be assessed once the debris is removed. Meanwhile, my house is exposed to the elements as well. Oh, and on Tuesday I discovered my new bath empties into the room below as well. The plumber is apparently returning today.

It's not been a good week and has almost tipped me over the edge to be honest.

In truth, I have been struggling more than ever for some weeks now. I'm very tearful, irritable and feel like I'm on the edge of coping with everything. Every day feels like a massive hill to climb and I'm completely overwhelmed by everything. I'm sure I'm not the nicest person to be around at the moment either.
DS said something quite innocent about his childhood this morning too which, although unintentional, hurt me very much and it's really knocked me for six ever since. I feel like I've completely failed him and he deserves so much better.

I've been looking into Bach remedies as I once tried the sleep one which seemed to help, but then I found an article which said that a trial showed they are of no use, so that put the doubt in my mind and put me off spending the money. Think I may need to look at some sort of CBT, but again, found this didn't help me at all before. If anyone has any suggestions as to things that's helped them, it would be most welcome. Being stuck in the house alone for most of the day 5 days a week really isn't helping me at all, I know that much, but unfortunately I don't have much choice on that front.v

Aspiration

Hi @MeandO You’ve had a lot going on with the nice and don’t forget how much pressure moving and house works put on!

When I’m really struggling I usually mind map and just write down everything on my mind. I find it helps at least be able to quantify what’s bothering me. 

Sometimes it helps, others not so much. CBT is great as well however if you didn’t get much from it before is there someone different you can use which may help? 

Your sons having an amazing life, I think most parents feel the same, I do about wanting to give them more. However your sons having a great life and I look at you admirably!! 

MeandO

Thank you Aspiration, I will take a look at mind map, I've not heard of it before.

Well, I've just self-referred myself for CBT via the nhs website and it came back with this: 

This 12-week online course is for people aged 16 and over who are experiencing anxiety, depression or stress.

Unfortunately, the information you have submitted indicates that this service is not suitable for you at this time.

Marvelous! Got to admit, it actually made me laugh out loud in disbelief! Guess I'll have to look elsewhere then...

Aspiration

That’s a positive in a way? I wonder if with the impact of lockdown the crisis has caused so many problems that a lot they’re having to prioritise the people who are at most at risk. 

I said mind mapping, it’s probably just me writing down everything that’s on my mind and then putting it in categories. 

I found money can have the same impact, almost like it plays at the back of my mind particularly when I’m spending lots! 

The suns come out to try and help as well! 

sudonum-mum

Sorry to hear your struggling, what's the situation with your work? Are you able to return to the office at all, 1 or 2 days would be ideal.

What hobbies do you have? 
What do you do when DS is at his dad's?
What support network do you have?

Being stuck at home has impacted a lot of peoples mental health as we do need human interaction.

I know you're spending a  lot on renovation but health is very important to, can you access therapy privately?
I've just started counselling at £45 per hour, I should use the money for debt repayments but my mental health is important to.

You've been through  a lot over the years, I definitely think you should invest time and money in yourself.

Drawingaline

So sorry to hear this. I have been struggling recently too, I have found as everything has opened up I am run ragged again and am wishing for the calm of the first lockdown! I am trying to prioritise myself a little more and say no. Which I am so bad at. This week it has all come to a head as I have totally over commited myself. 

I hope you find something that works for you.

MeandO

Thank you for your kind comments all, I hope everyone who is struggling is feeling better or on the way towards it. x

I did speak to the doctor last month about the way I was feeling and, although very nice, she wasn't much help to be honest. She said I wasn't suitable for the online CBT as I scored too high  but that I 'sounded like I was ok.' She started going on about how having a child at school is a brilliant way to make 'Mum friends' and have a social life, but I think she didn't quite get the bit about me not having a spare hour in the day, money being tight or that everyone just drops their child and runs now. DS will be at comp next year so the days of chatting in the playground are over for me.
I've managed to drag myself up a little and am feeling better than I was, despite having horrible news about both my parents health last week. I am however, now back to the worrying about money at night scenario, so I've not been sleeping well.

I know I am in a better position than a lot of people, but I am just finding everything SO expensive these days. The days of £150 a month grocery shopping budget is well gone and no pay rise in years means I'm a lot worse off every month than I was.
My OH and I have picked up some good YS reductions in supermarkets lately, but still the cost of living is getting beyond affordable. I feel thankful I fixed my energy bill for two years when I moved into this house, I would be severely struggling by now if I hadn't.

I have started having a local farmer / fruit & veg shop delivery twice a month now as I was finding fresh produce from the supermarkets was going off within a day or two of getting it home. A lot of this produce is locally grown and I can set the cost to however much I like and whatever I need. It's working out at a spend of around £6 a week. I also ordered a bulk order of chicken breasts, turkey mince and sausages (the only meat we really eat) from the 'online shop with muscles ' this week, using a £6 discount code I found online. It arrived today with a free pack of 40 zip lock bags which I was grateful for. I've portioned it all up into smaller quantities and have frozen it, so I won't need to buy meat for the rest of the year at least. We may even cook some chicken breasts for Christmas dinner if this stockpiling/shortage madness continues, we are not bothered about the whole turkey thing tbh and the veg will come from the farmer.

The work continues on my house with lots of noise every day, but I am just happy it's being done. Once finished, it should mean our house is much warmer and protected against the elements. If I earned £2K less a year then I could have got a grant to help towards the cost which does sting a little, but I will have to cover the entire cost which is probably going to be over £10K. I have asked them for quotes to do a few other bits that need doing which I can't do myself, I'm hoping it won't be overly expensive as my money pot for the renovations is dwindling fast and I'm worried if I'll have enough.

I also remembered that my car insurance and MOT are all due before Christmas, just when my savings pot has gone down somewhat. If the car passes the MOT then I should just have enough in there; if it doesn't, it'll be really tight to find the money to fix things. It is also DS's and OH's birthday shortly after Christmas and it's a big one for OH, so was planning on organising something for him.
As for Christmas, I have pretty much bought most of DS's presents already. I need to make a list of what I have for him as I am losing track a bit. It will be a lot less in quantity this year, but I have got him a couple of high price things he has mentioned, so I think he will be happy with them. It's harder to know what to buy them as they get older. I spoke to OH about Christmas the other day and asked him if we could just buy each other little things and keep the spending down with the view of putting our money together to go away on a few weekend breaks next year. He is on a tight budget too so think he liked the idea. 
I have bought a few things for other people too, but am not as organised as usual, I just don't have the spare money to do so this year. I have three family birthdays next month too so need to start thinking about what to buy them.

Drawingaline

I have started buying Xmas gifts already this year too. Things are noticably oos in loads of places, especially if you are looking for tech. Luckily I save from Jan so I have the funds already, but I think a lot of people will be caught out.

We have pizza and buffet food for Xmas so no turkey problems for us 😂