Divorced and Children's Holidays

Tabbytabitha

Spendless wrote: »

You clearly didn't read the post I quoted. From the initial post




If they didn't want to go with their Mum, eldest would be looking into having and funding a lads hol or one with a girlfriend, and youngest would be seeing if he could tag along with a mate's family.

My own children are not dissimilar in age (15 and 18) and the eldest only stopped at home last week because the destination (Majorca) didn't appeal to him and the youngest accepts that even next year she won't be old enough to holiday without adults.

I took that to mean as opposed to
a. with dad
b. paying for it himself.

fabforty

Armorica wrote: »

70 quid a week isn't a lot for two teenagers in the grand schemes of things although this will be sensitive to your income.

Must admit, that was my first thought, let alone £45 for two.

However, there is still no obligation to pay for a holiday.

Perhaps compromise by offering to split the cost of the 16 year olds ticket with her- so if it's £1000 for all 3, you offer £170. Ex-wife and adult child pay for themselves, plus the balance of the 16 year olds costs. I agree that holidays are not a right or entitlement, but a lot of us have them despite this.

HurdyGurdy

I think the only thing you should be providing to your ex-wife and "children" is a dictionary, with the words "want" and "need" highlighted, as they clearly have difficulty in understanding the difference.

System

Armorica wrote: »

Have you offered the option of a holiday with you, but without your current wife

If that doesn't put the cat amongst the pigeons I don't know what will.

tealady

OI would speak to both of your children giving them 3 choices
1) A holiday with you and their step mum which you will pay for (they provide spending money)
2) A small sum to each of them which can be spending money for a holiday their mother pays for.
3) They go on holiday with friends and have to fund themselves

Think your ex sounds bitter tbh, just bite the bullet as in a few years you will be rid (financially speaking)x

Spendless

Tabbytabitha wrote: »

I took that to mean as opposed to
a. with dad
b. paying for it himself.

I'm still confused. Wouldn't that mean they wanted to go on holiday with Mum, if they didn't want to go with others (inc Dad) and wanted to go on holiday? Otherwise they'd have said 'Not bothered about going away'. I'm taking it that the OP asked his kids, from the way it's worded.

Tabbytabitha

Spendless wrote: »

I'm still confused. Wouldn't that mean they wanted to go on holiday with Mum, if they didn't want to go with others (inc Dad) and wanted to go on holiday? Otherwise they'd have said 'Not bothered about going away'. I'm taking it that the OP asked his kids, from the way it's worded.

We're obviously looking at it differently. I assumed that they didn't want to go with dad, didn't want to fund it themselves so were prepared to go with mum as the only way they were going to get a free holiday. (Funding question more relevant to the 18 year old, obviously.)

I doubt he asked the kids whether they'd like to go on holiday on their own, whether funded by either parent.

Loz01

I take it neither the 16 or 18 year old work? Do they understand the value of money?? That dropping 1k isnt just an everyday thing, esp when you've been overpaying child support.

martinbuckley

Tell her to go and find a job so she can pay for a holiday. If the kids are 16 and 18, there is no excuse for her living off myself and the rest of the taxpaying public in the form of benefits.

Fireflyaway

If I were in this situation I'd offer to pay half of whatever the kids portion comes to. Within reason! No Barbados or world cruises! Your ex can pay for herself and the other half of the kids bill.
What would annoy me is the fact your wife doesn't work. Unless she medically can't then she needs to step up and get an income.
Have your kids spoken to you about this? I'd want to ensure they really want a holiday and it's not just your ex trying to get a freebie.