Divorced and Children's Holidays

Ms_Chocaholic

Will you pay for me to go on holiday? I'm expecting a no. Then why pay for your ex-wife.

charlie3090

MEM62 wrote: »

Correction, you have one child. The 18-year old is now an adult. As such, should be mature enough to see through their mothers bitterness and the 16-year old should be having the wake-up call soon as well.

You have absolutely no obligation to fund what is effectively a holiday for your ex-wife.

Book a holiday, invite your children. If they decide to come that's great. If not then that is their choice. They are old enough that they should start to think for themselves and making these decisions for themselves.

agree 100%with this,
suspect the mother is manipulating the situation for her own ends and as another poster said the kids are old enough to be doing some part time work .
Dont allow feelings of guilt to influence you.
I wish you luck,
Charlie.

kingfisherblue

smiler1976 wrote: »

Hi, just looking for an insight into other peoples opinions on this.
I was married to my ex wife for 17 years and have two children with her (now 16 and 18 years old). We separated and divorced 5 years ago and I'm now happily re-married. Ever since we separated I have paid what I felt was a fair child maintenance payment to my ex wife every week without fail. The online government calculator says I should be paying £45 a week but I in fact pay her £70 per week and have never missed a week. There has been some animosity as I have moved on with my life but my ex seams unable to do this. But anyway, my point is that my ex wife (who has been unemployed since we split) is saying that the children need a holiday and that I should be paying for her and the children to have one. I have offered to take the children away myself, but the children do not want this, they want to go with their mum. I have taken them away in previous years, but due to the poison my ex-wife feeds the kids about my new wife, they do not want to come with me this year. My question is, should I be putting my hand in my pocket to pay for a holiday for my ex wife and children? I have said I'm happy to give the kids (18 and 16, so hardly kids!) some spending money, but I'm not paying for the actual holiday.

No, you definitely have no obligation to pay for a holiday for your children, never mind your ex wife! As it is, if your oldest has left school/college, you no longer need to pay maintenance for him/her. If he/she is due to leave around now, or has only left in the last few weeks, then yoyu should pay maintenance until 31st August this year, unless he/she begins full time work before then (in which case, it can stop straight away). If your oldest child is continuing education after 31st August, then payment of maintenance depends on whether it is further education (A levels or equivilent) or higher education (university). If you choose to pay anything for a son or daughter in higher education, you can pay it directly to him/her, rather than to the mother.


As for the holiday question (and apologies - I was sidetracked ), your ex wife has some strange ideas if she thinks that you are obliged to provide this. If it was a school holiday and she asked you to contribute, I could understand it more, but why on Earth does she think that you should pay for a holiday for her? I'd definitely be telling her that she has no chance!

gettingtheresometime

Sambella wrote: »

Your ex is approximately only 4 years away from child tax credits, child benefits and child maintenance stopping. It would be wise for her to consider her options and not rely on you.

If she is able to work she will have to do so when Universal Credit rolls out.

You should most definitely not pay for your ex to have a holiday, the kids at 16 & 18 could do some part time work/Saturday jobs and pay something towards their themselves perhaps.

Isn't it 2yrs?

Child benefit for the 18yr old would be stopping in September at the latest as would tax credits.

Tabbytabitha

gettingtheresometime wrote: »

Isn't it 2yrs?

Child benefit for the 18yr old would be stopping in September at the latest as would tax credits.

Not if the "child" remains in non advanced FE.

fishybusiness

Fund or part fund the children's part, suggest mum funds herself.

elsien

smiler1976 wrote: »

Not sure she has any morals, lol.
I believe she wants a week at the seaside in the UK, but still around £1000 in cost.

Using the sun holidays, a couple of hundred for a caravan for a week which she should be able to find for herself with a bit of planning. Food is what she'd be buying anyway. And the cost of days out etc can come from the benefits she gets to look after the younger one plus the spending money you said you'd give. Sorted.

I suspect a caravan is not what she had in mind, but it's what those of us who can't afford anything else do if we want a break.

paddyandstumpy

Tell her to pay for the holiday out of the £25 a week extra you've been kindly paying her.

pinkshoes

You have been paying an extra £25 a week for 5 years.


£25 x 52 x 5 = £6500!!

Tell her that she can pay for a luxurious holiday from the extra money you have given her.

74jax

Collect the sun holiday tokens and send them all away for 5 days by the sea for £38.