taking responsibilty to get me where I want to be

efes_shareholder

Feel better about the above today , line drawn.
Moneywise I'm doing ok , its payday in 8 days and I'm pretty sure I'm going to be able to make the Very payment with what is left of my salary and if I'm optomistic a little of the tesco card which leaves the EF in tact.
I've found I've done quite a few supermarket shops as I've been going to Aldi for mums shops and there lunch options aren't really great for me and the shelf life quite short so its tricky to get a weeks supply so I'm nipping here and there to get something else - I need to fix this as I only eat at home 3 nights of the week 4 at most etc so my mums already in a massive ++ with the housekeep she gets. Its difficult to get my own supply of fruit as she seems to steamroll through it !!! The more I buy the more she seems to eat so maybe I need do 2 small shops for her a week rather then a weekly batch 
Trying to get back in to the gym habit - I need to get a routine going , I went yesterday at 6am and intended too this morning but its so hard to rouse myself on the dark wet mornings , I rolled back over this morning but I did bring my gym bag so my intention is do a short session after work , I've also done something to my knee and its niggly so I need to be mindful of that when I chose the apparatus I use. my daughter bought me a daylight alarm clock which gently brings light in to the room before waking you up  I haven't used it yet as I was going to save it for when I have my own bedroom in my own house and it can still be fresh and new but I may have too as winter really sets in 

Kitten868

What awful news. I am sorry. Given the time frame and the fact you shouldn't know I think doing nothing is for the best. But what a mind f! 
Well done for doing so well on your budget. I have no idea what to do about your mum eating so much. Could it be worth putting it back on her shoulders? After all you won't be shopping for her when you move out. She could try online shopping? Could she do it on an app if you set it all up? 
Keep going! Goodbye very! Xxx

efes_shareholder

Kitten868 said:

What awful news. I am sorry. Given the time frame and the fact you shouldn't know I think doing nothing is for the best. But what a mind f! 
Well done for doing so well on your budget. I have no idea what to do about your mum eating so much. Could it be worth putting it back on her shoulders? After all you won't be shopping for her when you move out. She could try online shopping? Could she do it on an app if you set it all up? 
Keep going! Goodbye very! Xxx

It is kitten , he wasn't always completely considerate of me but I only ever tried to show him kindness particulary once he was diagnosed and when I met NM  , I got a call from his sister today - we always got on well and she filled me in on whats been happening 
I extended my love to her and all the family including him and asked her to make sure he knew I bore no ill feeling and certainly didnt hate him , even go as far to say that we had spoken.
I've offered an ear and any help I can be off Im happy to be off even if its giving some insight in to where he kept his important papers etc 
Seems with the COVID situation they are having trouble getting family members allowed in and may have to consider facetimes etc and as yet he has not been moved to a private room , I made no suggestion to visit and she spoke only of trouble getting people in so it didnt come up 
I'm glad I spoke to her though 

Kitten868

Well done you. Sounds very much like you are putting him and his family first. You are being supportive and kind xxx

efes_shareholder

Kitten868 said:

Well done you. Sounds very much like you are putting him and his family first. You are being supportive and kind xxx

its been tough , i've spoken to her again this morning and she said she passed my message on and he had some tears - she cried , I cried 
I'm being more of a support to her , have offered her some pratical advice - where he writes his direct debits down etc , where things may be in the flat.
they have moved him to a private room so he can now have his family around him.
I've toyed with whether I should visit him , I'm  a big coward though and I don't really want to see anyone at that stage of life.
I'm not dealing well with it today and that has confused me more.

In other news I had to top the car up with fuel which was a 55 spend and I made the gym this morning so I've acheived something. 

efes_shareholder

oh and I forgot Phone contract is up and I resisted the urge to subscribe to a new deal with a a shiny new iphone ( been wanting to go back this way after 5 years samsung) and a two year tie and took the sim only deal reducing my bill drastically. 
When the time comes to get a mortgage I need to have minimum outgoings so not only am I doing that , I'm saving money and I'm not setting myself up for something I don't need 

efes_shareholder

so payday is 3 days and my intended payment to very is still in tact - glad i've been able to retain this and cover the unexpected car repair from my monthly remaining amount.
no much news on the ex boyfriend , his sister has been in regular contact - i think i'm being more of a support to her than anything as she is carrying the brunt of everything , his kids havent really stepped up which doesnt surprise me.
He is doing better then expected in the circumstances and wants to be at home , they are looking in to whether this is possible. obviously with covid its restrictive on visiting but this changes slightly if he comes home.
I was asked how I felt about visiting - I've thought long and hard about that , I left it that should he come home and wanted to see me I would visit but I do not want to arrive and cause him any upset etc. I guess in these situations you realise the past doesnt really matter , my desicion however is more just in case I ever regret not going and to know that his family will get comfort that he got to see everyone he wanted too before he passed .

efes_shareholder

payday tomorrow , ive pretty much got the very payment in tact aside from a tenner which i've had to use for a perscription , ive got the most painful in grown hair which seems to have gone to a cyst and i suspect its infected , its in a very delicate area too so i put the embarrassment aside and contacted the surgery.
it has however meant i've postponed my waxing so i guess theres a saving there too.
havent heard anything re the ex for a few days so im thinking there has maybe been a decline , i told the family i wouldnt intrude on them and would wait on their calls. 

efes_shareholder

not much to report , waxing cancelled so thats a saving - xmas shopping starting and comes along with those expenses , will see how they ride out
Have had a text from ex sister to say they are bringing him home , hes fighting every step by the looks of things. I'm not going to contact them , mainly because the sister broached the subject of his finances and his estate and was basically saying that his children should only recieve a small fraction  of what he has stated in his will ( can't be found which seems fitting) and it didn't sit easy with me. Sniff of some money in these circumstances and people do some funny stuff.
From Tomorrow I'll WFH again thanks to Boris - I'm quite happy about it as it will mean a saving in fuel and my day is more productive in all arenas of my life.

Kitten868

Very pleased for you that the budgeting is paying off! Intact payment ready to go. 
Can't believe its all change again! Still at least you know what you're doing with wfh xxx