taking responsibilty to get me where I want to be

efes_shareholder

Happy monday people

11 days until pay day !

Got through the weekend relatively unharmed in the finance department even though it involved 2 shopping trips with the daughter
I refused a night out on saturday as the tickets were £20 a head for entrance and I found that just a step too far.

I also did my dumping by text , bit of a kop out but said everything I needed to say and asked no further contact
Feels very liberating ignoring the attempts to make some
Phone has been quiet all day and long may it continue , hopefully he has the message that I mean business and will crawl back under a rock
Such a shame there isn't a trip advisor for men where you can leave feedback !
It feels like a weight has been lifted and once I get used to the new routine and not hearing from someone I will be fine.

efes_shareholder

Happy Tuesday
10 days until payday !

day 3 of regaining my self worth
I spoke to soon yesterday and had messages via social media and whats app and several missed calls - I have now blocked the number
I haven't blocked on whats app or fb as the only other route which would be open then is through my work line which I do not want hassle through
He can carry on talking to himself and leave that avenue alone !
Usually I'd be getting flowers by now - bit disapointing.

I'm slightly concerned about the car , there are a couple of little flaws of things not working ( non mechanical) due to a burn out on an area of the circuit board of the MCU - this means my lights are always on. Its a £500 fix and because its no essential nor unsafe I haven't done it.
Last night someone pulled up alongside me and said my back lights were completely out ( I only changed the bulbs around 6 weeks ago)
I pulled over and stopped but I had restarted the engine and when I checked the lights were fine
I am hoping this was a one off glitch but I suspect its connected to the MCU fault slowing gaining oomph - I have 155k on the clock and the car is 14 years old , I cannot justify another £500 repair so I may have to consider a replacement
Fingers crossed it is just a one off but obviously this time of year , most of my driving is in the dark

pidge04

Oh no, that’s annoying about your car.

How are you feeling about the ex?

efes_shareholder

Hi Pidge

The car knows !! The exhaust decided to go enroute last night so that another 250 - it has to go , its costing a small fortune and at 155k on the clock , its tired
I could have done without the bill to be honest but it is what it is - I guess thats what emergancy funds are for

I think I am will have to get finance to replace it - not ideal but i dont have much choice and i do so many miles I need a reliable vehicle

with regards to him - he has messaged and called every day and I have ignored every one
he has posted on FB for a reaction and I have ignored this
I have nothing to say to him and each day I am away , I grow stronger
There is no going back , there is nothing good for me to be gained from being around him

efes_shareholder

Just a quick update - the ex has just called at my work place with a bag of non essentials I left at the flat ! Really !
I wish my car had had still been in the garage !!

Also in car news , my hands are tied - the deals I am getting offered for finance are awful , obviously paying for my previous sins

I am not yet showing on the electoral register which is I know has an impact and i have a remaining unsettled default although only £150.00

I wonder if I will have to clear this now rather then by monthly payments and whether this will help


having just paid out £250 its not worth me replacing the car with another older worn car , I would better sticking with the mini

Not sure best way to go , I don't like PCP deals but I would consider it for trouble free motoring and I also dont want to pay APR's of 22% , Potentially if I get on to the council about the electoral role and pay off the defaulted account this may improve the APR's
Ideally I'd like the car to be gone before the next MOT and service in March

efes_shareholder

Good morning

My head spins on how to proceed with the car situation , I have checked with the council and I am on the electoral register but they do not update their systems except 1st December yearly so as yet I am showing as homeless to the credit reference agencies

My last defaulted account will show as settled when the last payment is made in March , It has £150.00 left on this
I am tempted to pay it now to make the report as clean as I possibly can but there are historic defaults and these are returning to haunt me - I can do nothing about this

The car now has a new exhaust ,l 3 months after a new steering pump and it is a case of what next ? She is 15 years old and has travelled 155k miles , she has done some work but slowly bits on her are dying and her reliability is questioned.
She is due a MOT in March and a service in 3.5k miles which should fall around the same time , I'd expect this to be in the region of approx £400.00
She is worth around £500 p/x and is a higher road tax group which I pay £20.45 a month

I don't want to replace her with another run around - I tend to keep my cars until they are run to the ground , this being only my 3rd in 10 years of driving.

If I replace her I want something that I love just as much - Driving something you enjoy makes all the difference to the day and since I don't have a house etc its really the only thing I can take any pride in

I don't however like the idea of finance or the rates I am being offered

It is catch 22 - I do have a nest egg but I don't want to spend it all on a car as when its gone its gone and its my safety net should anything happen in my living circumstances

efes_shareholder

Happy Friday , we made it

Today starts with the great news that my daughter has achieved her masters with a 2.1 - We now have an official graduation ceremony to attend.
The search for grad jobs and hopefully something more suitable will commence in the new year

Its black friday , I have taken the plunge and upgraded the phone.
In my moment last week , I ordered a quite expensive phone on BNPL with Very - It was however on a very good offer but it sat with me and I was not sure I was doing the right thing
This phone is still waiting collection and will be going straight back
I've taken advantage of the EE deal on which does increase my sim only deal by £12 a month however my phone is battered and smashed to sundry , powers down at regular intervals and does not charge unless laying flat. it loses charge and is always flat 4 hours after having 100%
I'd have liked to avoid it but with 500 mile round trips to pick my son up from uni and next years dream trip I feel I need a reliable device.
Its much more sensible and cost effective then my original order so I'm happy with this

one other purchase a hoodie that my daughter has asked for for Xmas , its been showing at £34.99 and today its £17.49 so thats gone straight in my basket as I would have bought it anyway

Thats it for today , no more spending !!!!!!!

No car news , need to find my log book and give my plans and budget some serious consideration with this , my old girl appears fine at the moment so I am hoping she stays kind to me.

My personal life is still a bit up and down - I'm trying to fix myself up but mum is very down too which isn't helping
She has not smoked for nearly 2 weeks which is an amazing acheivement for her and also had shed 5lb with slimming world
I think the body has gone slightly in to shock - I have draughted the sister in to spend some day time with her next week as she mentioned she was feeling lonely , I think this is more to do with now being widowed and having no partner then not having people around her

Kelly25

Thankyou for bringing us along your journey. Hope we can all learn something form your experience

ftbwannabe

Wow, I didn't think I'd been absent from here that long but you (& your mum!) have achieved loads!
Sorry about the car. WAHOOO! to your daughter - well done her, you must be very proud. I'm really proud of you & your mum, too - you've both kicked toxic things to the kerb. Love the idea of a tripadvisor for men! Hope he's leaving you alone now.
Have a lovely weekend. You've earned one!

efes_shareholder

Happy Monday and welcome to a brand new week.

Very Very proud of the middle one , She is sandwiched between her brother and sister who seem to get the results without much work - She has always had to work much harder to achieve so its particulary nice to celebrate her accomplishments , what do you wear to a winter grad ceremony ?

Not much news elsewhere - following the car fix the budget seems to have just gone out of the window and its difficult to follow at this time of the year and Xmas shopping is in its prime
I've decided not to stress , to know my back up funds are there and to try and just be sensible with the choices I make and not get carried away

I spent the weekend looking at cars , but I really struggle with fixing myself up with finance - I am well known to over think situations and scenerios and this is no exception , it hurt to find £260 to fix my exhaust but in reality I will need a similar amount every month to replace the car
She is pretty worthless as a part exchange , have decided that if i keep running her for now I will not have the service carried out as it will make no odds as she will be scrapped before she gets a new owner and its a pointless £200 spend
I am quite proud that she has 155k with a full service history but there you go!!
I have also had trouble finding anything I really like enough to buy ! I never used to be this fussy but I get a lot of enjoyment out of my car and I want this to continue
I have been advised potentially there is a 2nd PPI payment so hopefully this will bare fruit and can help me out as and when I replace the car

The ex is still the ex and will remain so ........He's trying and we have spoken but not about the future since i sent my you are dumped text , just chit chat. There is no future , the only thing I can offer is my friendship and he should be grateful for that but it could take some time for him to accept it
I've always prided myself on managing to be friends with people it didn't work out with , not sure if this will happen but as we move in the same circles and go to similar events I see it as just easier.