taking responsibilty to get me where I want to be

efes_shareholder

I went in to HR yesterday for an off record chat - basically I just reiterated that I had made to feel like my procedure was an inconvenience to the staffing of the office and i was expected to arrange it around everyone else annual leave - to quote I had been told " as long as you are in the next day it will be fine!"
The HR manager is funnily enough an old school friend so I can talk to her on the level - she was very firm and said " I don't care , its tough ,they will just have to cope as this is priority"
Her assistant then politely interupted to say she had had the same thing and it had been delayed due to paperwork in which time her diagnosis went from moderate to high risk - mine has already been delayed as it was referred to the senior management team so I will not be waiting until the new year as you never know when these things could take a turn

I'm booked in a few days before Xmas , It isnt ideal as its a hetic time at home but it needs to be done - I also wont be coming back in the following day regardless of what my boss would like , I'm not even supposed to drive for 48 hours !

HR also confirmed I do not have to use my annual leave , I have used this for next week , I have the pre med early in the morning but thought I may as well take a day to get a few bits done , Hopefully acquire a new car !

The car choice is like a devil on one shoulder and a angel on the other and they are having a lot of conflict , one wants a sporty powerful little number with a few features and the other wants a tax free eco friendly engine with all of the mod cons

I need to get out and sort it - I have to pick my son up from uni in 2 weeks and I'd like to make the journey in a new car , the mini has lost my trust and I can't risk in this season the lights not coming on ever again !!

I have had to spend £35 today on a travel lodge for that journey as I am picking my son up from Yorkshire and coming back to the midlands for the middle ones graduation ceremony , its a 400 mile round trip so i will have an overnight stop , use the bathroom facilities and have a few glasses following the 1st leg

I haven't smoked today or yesterday - Its hard but helped by the patches and the vape and I am hoping that the effect it has on my current account will motivate me to keep focused , the cost of smoking outweighs my car loan so if i can shift the filthy habit then the spend can be re allocated to the car payments

efes_shareholder

Humdinger1 wrote: »

Efes

Just coming out of lurkerdom to say how much I enjoy your diary and how well you're doing. The way you keep everything balanced and stay jolly is an inspiration.

Your boss needs a damn good slap; I only wish I could be the one to administer it but I might have to join a very long queue? Material for an updated Wonderwoman film here -a posse of MSE righters-of- wrongs roaming the planet; correcting injustices on the spot; and helping egotistical oafs like your boss understand where they've gone wrong and their true place in the world; and all in stand-out costume! Hang on, why a film? Why not in real life??

Seriously, if you have an HR dept, it would be worth consulting them; or maybe you have an employee handbook that covers this?

Look forward to your next update. Humdinger

Thanks Humdinger , this made me smile

I think that would make a great film

efes_shareholder

Happy Friday People

Day 3 of not smoking ...........I can do this !
I have moved each days ciggie spend ( currently £27.00) over to my esavers from my account so that i can watch the money I would have spent assemble.
Its not been too bad and I even managed a bottle of wine last night without caving in. Any urges to have a tug I am reaching for the vape.

Today I have cleared the BNPL balance with very so thats £90 , it wasn't due until the 21st but I was tempted to put it on the c/c just to get some additional time so I decided to pay it and get it gone.
I had budgeted for it so knocking it on was pointless
I was concerned that something may happen and I may forget to make the payment altogether and get the loaded interest

Now everything is pretty much paid for the month so at least I know what is left

Works Xmas party and Girls night out this weekend but I have a nagging pain in my right kidney which feels very familar so I have decided although I will attend , I won't be drinking
I have my pre med on Tuesday and I want to try and flush it out so it will be water for me and I'll drive
This may be a saviour since I can get loose lipped when drunk and I can also then leave when I want if I take the car

I also have things to do over the weekend and could do without the hangovers , not to mention the potential to overspend when intoxicated
If anything I will have a glass of vino when I get home.

I am still deliberating over car purchases , I have the devil on one shoulder telling me to get something I will enjoy driving and an angel on the other telling me to go eco friendly
I wish they would battle it out and let me know when they are done which direction to take !!
What I save on the tax by going for a lower emission car , I lose on the insurance for purchasing a new vehicle

efes_shareholder

Happy Monday

Well Friday night I didnt make it out , I arrived home shattered and decided to take a nap before I went and woke up at 11pm ! Although it was a club night, I was past wanting to get ready and go out

Saturday , works xmas party and my entire spend £2.50 on a sparkling water. I decided to drive as I've been feeling quite run down and it was going to be so expensive to get home also

Did a bit of car shopping , a bit of a disaster - the first car a Honda Civic turned out to be in a yard and not a dealership and although it looked nice I was put off by the lack of attendance from the salesman and also the fact it was a yard - my instinct told me to walk away

Took my daughter to see a Nissan Juke and the salesman gave me the key to look it over whilst he arranged for other cars to be moved so we could test drive , I accidently deflated the battery playing with the gadgets so we slipped away sheepishly

I am not having much luck on that front

Felt very down over the weekend and had to drag myself out on saturday night to prevent the doldrums from really setting in.
Wasn't sure what the trigger was but I think the main one was the fact that the house albeit the bathroom wasn't available for me to get ready how I would have liked ! Its annoying , its a basic human right and it got my down
Particulary at xmas , I really miss having my own place , where I am only clearing up my own mess .........my sister and I did a sweep round downstairs for my mum yesterday and will do each weekend - more because my operation is only a few days before xmas. She wasn't grateful at all , it was more of a hinderance and she abruptly said " why are you bothering it wont stay like it "
I answered , it would be nice if you could try ! I really don't get how one person alone can make so much mess and be as oblivious to the mess they are creating

In light of the issues others face , it really is probably not worth getting so upset over but I can't help it - I am not nose blind and it really was a snowball effect where everything that has gone wrong came to mind and became very upsetting

I have a day off tomorrow for my pre med and I really hope that I am able to be a bit more productive on the car front

On the plus part , no cigerettes bought so the account is looking healthier then I expected

efes_shareholder

So its wednesday already - Feel desperately unorganised for the festive period however shopping trip planned for tomorrow and then I will shut the xmas spends down , I am sure I am nearly there , plan to have a look through this evening so that the balance doesn't go a miss after my trip tomorrow

Still no nicotine purchased , Have noticed the card is not getting tapped as much however because of time of year it isn't hugely noticeable as yet

The car purchase is imminent , test drove a nice Juke which wouldn' t have been my first choice as they are very marmite but it ticks all of the boxes so if we can get an agreement on price , I have a deal. I just want it sorted to be honest

efes_shareholder

So I wrote a big up date and forgot to submit !!

Been making an extra effort to make sure I feel healthy with the operation coming up and lo and behold today I wake up fully congested - I have a shopping trip with the big sprog this evening so hope I can shake it off , I do plan to have a restful weekend with the exception of the trip to collect the boy from uni ( hopefully in a new car)

Spoke to the garage last night and told him what I would like to spend and waiting on some feedback - he wants to sell the car , I want to buy it so just need to find some middle ground and we can do the deal , I am hoping the time of year will work in my favor

Secret santa at work tomorrow - I've pulled the much disliked managing director and after my initial " oh for gawds sake " I have seen the oppurtunity and gone for the jugular.
I do hope he has a sense of humour , if I said amongst the gifts were some hand sanitiser and a box of tissues , you may get the jist !!
I am quite proud that I am famous for my "off the cuff" and slightly offensive secret santa gifts and there are even a few in the company that come to me to help them with theres.

Hopefully after they are opened tomorrow I will still have a job !!

efes_shareholder

oops he didnt like his present at all

Maybe I'll get pulled in to the office

No one went down the same route as me , oh well - you live and learn

Kitten868

Wow! I've never gone brave on a secret santa! I always go nice even though I never get any one I like. Sounds like a Morrissey song. At least your recipient will be able to use the items.

Hello! I saw your lovely posts on others diaries and thought I'd pop in. What a read. I'm glad you're getting a car - you don't have a home, you at least deserve a car. And with all the bits going wrong, it would have been one thing in summer but far too dangerous in winter. My friends got a juke. It's definitely got all the mod cons but not too roomy in the back. You'll be fine I'm sure but Id have no chance with my car seats.

I think you should get that strong sugar soap for nicotine and scrub the walls in your house. I think it'll make a big impact for you and your mum to see all that nasty yuck peeling off the walls both in encouraging you off them and feeling brighter at home. Especially the windows. Then also if either of you smoke at home you'll ruin your hard work. More incentive to stay off them.

And most importantly of all. Give yourself a break from the ex. Like NO contact for 2 weeks. Not even an emoji. He won't believe it's over if you keep texting. I know it's hard to get rid of your fall back but being with him is much worse than being single. It doesn't feel like it now I know. It's like quitting smoking, other than the cravings it's the boredom. You don't realise how much of your time you devote to smoking til you quit and have all this time to fill. Same with men it's the boredom- all that time they take up gone. Being on this forum is great for those moments. Or even candy crush blooming saga. Find your thing until you fill the spare time with something else. Doesn't matter how stupid a habit.

Keep going you're doing great xxxx

efes_shareholder

thanks kitten and thanks for all your brilliant advice

I didn't buy the Juke , the salesman would only take 1% from the purchase price so I wasn't going to play ball. I hired a car to collect my son ( not bad £45 for 3 days) and I ended up with a Mokka - this gave me a lot more time to experience the SUV's - aside from not liking the unforgiving clutch , I am not sure this kind of car is for me , it felt a little too mumsy

Been an expensive weekend with hotel to break up the trip to collect my son and my daughters grad ceremony further down the M1 along with dinner out.
When I finally got home I was absolutely shattered and I think I still am

My secret santa was not well recieved and I've ended up apologising and being the talk of the office - I am quite glad that i will not cross paths with the recipitant until the new year
I still find it slightly amusing and it was a case of "sorry - not sorry " but I shan't repeat again.obviously not everyone has the same humour.
Lesson learnt - I do like to make my life difficult for myself

I am in to hospital for surgery tomorrow - feeling very nervous but it keeps me out of the shops. it may be a few days before I post again so just incase I'd like to wish everyone a great festive period
remember its your presence not your presents which mean the most

Kitten868

Best of luck with your surgery. From memory having cells burnt off isn't too painful afterwards. Not undermining what you're going through but trying to be positive.
Hope you have a good rest and don't let work stress you out. Ignore them.

And if you don't get chance Merry Christmas ES! Enjoy it xxxx