taking responsibilty to get me where I want to be

Buffythedebtslayer

Also crossed here XX Sending love XXX 

efes_shareholder

well I had a great weekend  , it was great to see friends and have some normality and just forget about things , in fact i'm sad that it had to end.

I drank my body weight , I danced , I laughed and I felt the warmth from friends I haven't seen for quite some time. I spent about £50 which isn't too bad but did do about £50 on supplies for the weekend too

Today I'm sad , I am getting the hump about stupid stuff probably to the point of being quite anal about things but anyway my back story
I've come back with a head cold , did a drive through and home covid test as my anxiety was peaking and all clear but it is just a head cold however I do feel pretty poo !!
Sounds like sister had a few instances over the weekend , mum getting herself in to a bit of a pickle and nearly setting the kitchen alight being just two of them , she took mum to the pub for lunch with her kids - I'm not happy to find out mum footed the bill but more on that  a bit later. 
she had family visiting too and managed a pub stop for that.
by 2pm on monday she was calling me to see what time I would be home!! 

yesterday when putting the recycling out I noticed a pool of water in the flower beds , coming from the drain , mentioned it to my sister "yeah I noticed that" , an hour of my working day on the phone to the waterboard who said they would send someone out within 48 hours but could she not have made a call herself and saved me the job !! 
when the waterboard came last night it turns out as I suspected may have happened mum has blocked the drains flushing wipes. I've put nappy sacks in the cloakroom and told her over and over again not to flush them.She was a bit dismissive about it " oh well its there job" until I pointed out that as it is our fault they are quite within their rights to charge some kind of call out fee.

On friday before I left I withdrew £250 from the ATM from mums account without the overdraft as the gardener called , he doesn't cost that much but I'm aware we have several weeks of unpaid window cleaner , a cab to my daughters party , hairdresser for mum for that and as I always seem to have to stop work to go to the cashpoint for these things I thought I may aswell get the max out so that next time they call we will have the cash in the house and it saves me the job .
This morning I've checked the pot and its now £130 , friday it was £220.
Asked mum about it and she said she gave my sister money to do the shopping...........sister says she didn't
Turns out she did pay for the sunday lunch for all 4 of them but the money is still light.
Thats annoyed me for 2 reasons , she knows mum doesn't have it but still let her do it and the bank card is there so why didn't you use it because when all that cash is not there for what its intended for its ME that has to find the time to go to the cashpoint in my working day just like its ME who has to call the waterboard !
Whenever my sister is here , the money never adds up afterwards and then mum will tell me she bought her a bottle of wine or whatever ........................wondering why she gets this ? little incentives for doing what I'm doing every day , I feel like I'm just the dogsbody who spent last night full of cold wanting to go to bed but instead i'm wiping bums and changing soiled beds,

lucielle

Glad you had a great time away and sorry to hear what you've come back to
L

efes_shareholder

lucielle said:

Glad you had a great time away and sorry to hear what you've come back to
L

I'm probably overly annoyed about it but no one seems to give any type of consideration to anything I try and do to make my own life slightly less pressured.

efes_shareholder

still feel meh , despite my new glasses i'm still experiencing headaches , currently in the queue for a docs appt.
slightly less agitated with things today , just frustrated that the moves i make to try and relieve my pressure slightly never pan out through no fault of my own.
spoke to sister , said she should never have allowed mum to pay for the family dinner that my mum was invited to as a treat particulary when she eats so little and paid so much but it ultimately mums choice - the fact she is away with the fairies , I cant help but think she took advantage slightly.

Still can't account for all of the cash that isn't there but you know what , let them crack on with it - I won't be stopping work to run round cashpoints etc 

mum didnt have a great day , messy evening which again required wipes , i left her a bag hanging on the door handle to dispose of them and reminded her not to throw them in the toilet whilst I grabbed another bag for her pads , came back 30 seconds later to find her throwing wipes in to toilet !!!! I wasn't happy and then she tried to fish them back out , said to leave it and I would get the gloves when we were finished and get them , went to get gloves and then heard the cistern flush !!!!!!!  Then she just smiled at me like it was funny which it won't be when the drains are blocked again !!!! 
Honestly you can't make it up , she will throw money at a family dinner and then get concerned when I say the water board as within their rights to charge us a call out if it is US thats blocked the drain !!!

Anyway today is payday , I've finished the month with a good amount of credit after last months bonus but most has been eaten up the £300 my glasses cost , Looking at the month I will need to be aware and not go mad but totting up the direct debits its managable. The car has just two more months payments after this one but does need a service and a tyre  , I will be so glad when that payment ceases.
Talking of cars I joined the masses and refilled the car yesterday after a tip off of a delivery just up the road , I had about 200 miles left but I have a slow puncture and wanted to put air in the tyre so thought i may aswell queue for a reason , £50 top up so not a little £5 like some of the reports and the tyre is inflated , took about 40 minutes start to finish and won't need any hopefully for rest of month as will be keeping trips minimal 

efes_shareholder

thank heavens its the weekend.
the preparation for my daughters party is going to take up most of the day tomorrow , what with my hair and nails and mum resting and eating and getting her ready its probably going to turn in to an all day affair , im tired just thinking about it but the important thing is we get her there and introduce her to the new side of the my daughters family , I don't think she will stay long and the taxi takes the wheelchair and is happy to wait.

Sunday is going to be more of a chill out day , with the stupid fuel situation we are avoiding journeys we dont need to make so i'll drop my son to the train station for his journey home and then its back to NM's for an afternoon of football and food prep for the week , we have both put weight on so need to address that and I have decided that I will do stoptober as part of my problem with the squidge is wine !! Planning on doing a pasta chilli bake and a chicken saag. 

Hate this time of the month as I get elation looking at my wages when they hit my account and then sadness when the figure reduces and I realise that most of it is in fact accounted for , still after this month there will be just £430 in car payments left to make and £1150 on the tesco 0% card. I can;t remember the last time my debt figures were so low.

Finally a house on our street has gone up for sale , its asking price has taken the wind out of my sails and burst my bubble somewhat. Its mid terrace where as we are end , it has no provision to add off street partking which is a problem in our cul de sac , its been a rental for years and although its very liveable it is somewhat dated and its on at the asking price of 420k , to me its madness !! it hasnt sold but im not surprised , just in my head I had mums house sitting at around  360-370 , it needs work but 50k im not sure???  I'm praying the house doesnt go for anything near that as it also puts us in the dreaded inheritance tax bracket , I shall be looking on though , so far I havent seen anyone going in to view

Buffythedebtslayer

efes_shareholder said:

lucielle said:

Glad you had a great time away and sorry to hear what you've come back to
L

I'm probably overly annoyed about it but no one seems to give any type of consideration to anything I try and do to make my own life slightly less pressured.

I think sometimes the break accentuates the stress of it all. And when rubbish things like with the money happen and constant care stuff going on it is all worse because you have such a clear recent memory of what real life is like. 

Very glad you got away. Hope you are doing ok tonight and that your mum is alright XXX 

HoneyRoastedParsnip

Sending hugs. RE: the cash - not sure about your age or when you want to access the money but if long term the Vanguard Lifestrategy accounts are worth a look.

efes_shareholder

HoneyRoastedParsnip said:

Sending hugs. RE: the cash - not sure about your age or when you want to access the money but if long term the Vanguard Lifestrategy accounts are worth a look.

thank you , im 47 , I'm hoping i'll get to spend it soon on  a property but have no idea when I may be able too 

efes_shareholder

Buffythedebtslayer said:

efes_shareholder said:

lucielle said:

Glad you had a great time away and sorry to hear what you've come back to
L

I'm probably overly annoyed about it but no one seems to give any type of consideration to anything I try and do to make my own life slightly less pressured.

I think sometimes the break accentuates the stress of it all. And when rubbish things like with the money happen and constant care stuff going on it is all worse because you have such a clear recent memory of what real life is like. 

Very glad you got away. Hope you are doing ok tonight and that your mum is alright XXX 

thanks buffy , I think your right , its like a massive whack in the face of reality 
Probably not helped but a huge dose of PMT