taking responsibilty to get me where I want to be

Kitten868

I hope that's 4 between you!! 

Glad that you're happy to pass on it. Better than losing it when you want it x

lucielle

Well done for having a look and deciding its not for you.  At least you know what you do want
L

efes_shareholder

Kitten868 said:

I hope that's 4 between you!! 

Glad that you're happy to pass on it. Better than losing it when you want it x

nope , 4 each

efes_shareholder

lucielle said:

Well done for having a look and deciding its not for you.  At least you know what you do want
L

yeah it cleared a few things and there was a few niggly things that deterred me from wanting to get in to the bidding war

efes_shareholder

where did the weekend go

went over to NM friends yesterday , I got to know his BM's partner a lot better as the boys went out running errands to do with the friend they lost.
We had a few glasses of wine and a BBQ , bit wavy by the time I got home.

Feel out of sorts today , cancelled emergency dentist appt as im pretty sure I burnt my mouth on a hot potato and its all sorted now , did book in for a check up though which I can't have until November

Estate agents havent given me a follow up call , I think they have enough interest not to chase people.

efes_shareholder

i've come on to moan that work is hetic as my supervisor is off and there are clearly not enough of me 

now i feel better 

efes_shareholder

Have managed to briefly check the debts

car loan is now £634 with 3 payments left
tesco 0% card is £1350 

so under the 2k now 

efes_shareholder

had a follow up call from agent , gave my feedback and said I hoped his day improved after his rude customers. Not getting involved on a bidding war on something that isn't right for me.

Wheels have come off on the spending , dipped my toes in to the next sale and the very 25% off and have ordered aload of stuff , most of which will be returned , its so difficult to get to the shops and I have a weekender coming up and could do with some new additions , everything seems very tired and nothing has been purchased for "nights" out due to the covid years. I used Very to buy a barbour jacket , I've wanted one for years and the 25% off made it a good deal and with autumn fast approaching its an lighter jacket which I don't have,
Bit annoyed with myself for getting a bit carried away but I need something to make me smile.

Supervisor is off work this week so my workload has increased and my sister is on earlies so doesnt come in until later in the day , she is also away this weekend so I already feel overwhelmed.
I have a weekend in about a fortnight and I am keeping everything crossed that nothing changes and that I am able to go as its keeping me going and I really need it - I was honest with NM the other day and said although I would do whatever I can for my mum I am really resentful of the position that I am in and how it came about without a choice , the rest of my family still appear to have choices but I can't even nip to new look 5 minutes up the road without immense planning 
As my sister is off doing things with her kids this weekend its doubtful there will be any break for me.

Oh well.

I've moved £150 back in to my savings £75 from my bonds coup this month and £75 from my bonus , I need to save more 

I'd like to get to the magic figure of 136k ( this isn't that impressive  and 129k is from my house sale)
50k prem bonds
83k current account savings pot ( need to think about what to do with this) 
2765.44 in Virgin money 

Just shy of £235 gets me to target

efes_shareholder

Both deliveries can go back !!! don't like any of the jackets from very and not sure why I got so carried away in the next sale but its highly unlikely I'll even collect it

Today is a pig of a day , i've felt pressurised and overwhelmed from the minute I woke up .........family members messaging about visiting , mums friends messaging as she hasnt replied to their messages , family members just turning up on the door amongst the delivery drivers turning up with random parcels , calls from marie curie following our district nurse referal , great as they are offering a night sitting service but offered tonight and mum siad its too soon and she can't get her head round it  and she doesn't want them to come if its just overnight and not a few days , neighbours offering to take mum out for an hour or two in their adapted car with their wheelchair , she doesn't want to go - I honestly could scream......................amongst all this I have a workload exploding and a supervisor back of her holidays so have to go through the hand over , oh and mums breakfast , lunch , dinner and hot beveradges and medication , washing bedding once again and get it dry , washing up  oh and try and keep to my opticians check up that I booked 3 weeks ago as I know my eyesight is failing massively. 
Also trying to organise cover for mum next week so that I can attend NM's friends funeral with him ..........................I swear no one around  me has a blooming clue how even the simplest of tasks like getting my hair cut require assistance from others , I feel claustrophic within these walls and would love nothing more then to actually be able to go to work rather then feel constantly overwhelmed with responsibilty 

Can't overly complain about the sister she is at last recognising just how restrictive life is for me and has given the extra night but according to her she is ready to crumble too ( its ok she has a full weekend off this weekend ) but even so , I'm still resentful that its me in this situation and not her.

I level with myself and say its not forever but it brings little consolation as when its over is when mum has gone and although I'm not wishing that day , none of us expected to be in this situation still now so why should there be end to it , this could go on for absolute years and I just have to get on with it 

The orders are going back , my failing eyesight will cost £300 in varifocals , I can't moan about that I never renewed my glasses when they needed to be last year so I suppose I've stretched it out as much as I can 

Buffythedebtslayer

Oh Efes XX 

I hear you big time!! This weekend I spent Saturday at the hospital with mum waiting to get urgent treatment (that she turned down on the Friday so I wouldn't miss work ). I then spent the rest of the weekend looking after her whilst she texted both my sisters telling them how fine she was doing. Of course she was, I was getting her tea, breakfast, lunch, dinner, putting socks on, getting a blanket, doing all the pills, getting water, finding a tv programme, helping her to bed. and I understand neither sister is in any sort of position to help but the lack of................I don't know? engagement? I do have more freedom than you so sorry if I sound ungrateful but I think I am tired of everyone thinking that is is fine that I do this. Mum was going up the stairs tonight and nearly fell, that sick feeling I got, the bloody massive responsibility. It is horrible. 

I really hope this week is easier than you expect. Big love XXX