taking responsibilty to get me where I want to be

efes_shareholder

Buffythedebtslayer said:

Oh Efes, I am so sorry. That is just dire. Absolutely dire. Literally don't know what to say. Thank God for Marigolds indeed XXX 

I'll be getting plenty of spares in 

efes_shareholder

lucielle said:

Sorry to hear about your night.  Perhaps next time send your sister a photo or the devil in me is saying to phone every time you have to deal with this.
L

I'd like too but theres little point , she texted this morning to see how things were so i told a brief tale , her only response " bet that stank" 
she doesn't care shes just glad its not her dealing with it 

efes_shareholder

this morning I've escaped along with the laptop for a few hours to NM's , I needed to check what I had there to wear at the weekend ( we have a garden party to attend) pick up some acetone as my gel nails are completely wrecked and quite frankly an embarrassment and most importantly grab a shower as god knows what I got on my feet last night !
It did me good and I was able to do both trips without working noting my absence , left when the carer arrived nd then my sister came for her obligatory hour or so that I'm sure she begrudges , she was straight off to enjoy her day off as soon as I came in 
I am going to log times just so I can see how the balance is , its a little bit anal of me buy hey ho !

Today hasn't been a NSD , got 3 spare phone cables delivered for £9.99 and made the mistake of looking at hotukdeals , we have garden chairs for NM's communal garden but argos had some nice ones I had been looking at that were reduced from £40 each to £17.50 , I've ordered them on call and collect on the basis that when I have a garden we will want more then 2 chairs and they are a bargain , off course if I don't collect then they will be refunded ....................at that price didnt think I would have time to think before they were out of stock so I've put them on the every day credit card on the basis that if I decide against them I just don't collect. They are the cushioned recliners so IF there is ever sun they will be well used.

My scan results are back and as I thought , show adeyimosis , usually endo goes with this ....................hooray maybe I will finally get somewhere as the GP wants to discuss the report , called to make an appt but got a dr i've never heard off so will try and get one I have been in contact with before when I try again tomorrow.

I woke up at 4 and couldnt get back to sleep until after 5 and then the alarm was chiming at 6 , I so need an early night , mum is very sheepish today , she has obviously slept off the lack of sleep last night but no such luxury for me.

efes_shareholder

managed a slightly better night , went to sleep around 10 and woke up around 5 , just can't get past that hour no matter what I do.
I've already done two reports due today at work , I dont start until 8 , I havent sent them yet as I don't get paid for starting early so thought I'd hang on to them and use them to plug a gap if things come on top later. 

All but 3 of my nails nearly removed and 2 files completely battered , need to soak the other two and dig out some red varnish as its an age since I did my own nails 

Really giving some thought to just getting rid of the debts and trying to become savings focused , acutely aware thats its actually only 4 paydays until xmas as well , although this is definately the year I will be cutting back 

Hope everyone has a good day

Buffythedebtslayer

I became aware of how near the C word is too Efes! Good plan on the reports, I like that  

What would getting rid of the debts mean? As in how much would you save? or is it like me and more that I don't like having them there. 

glad you had a better night XXX 

efes_shareholder

Buffythedebtslayer said:

I became aware of how near the C word is too Efes! Good plan on the reports, I like that  

What would getting rid of the debts mean? As in how much would you save? or is it like me and more that I don't like having them there. 

glad you had a better night XXX 

I dont save anything , I think 4 payments ago I was told I'd save £10 on the car loan and the credit card is on 0% until April 22 just have £515 in my account every month rather then going on d/d's .................problem is I don't trust myself to put it back in to my house fund.
It all needs to gone by the time I need a mortgage , heaven knows when that will be but at current rates the debt is gone by December 

Buffythedebtslayer

efes_shareholder said:

Buffythedebtslayer said:

I became aware of how near the C word is too Efes! Good plan on the reports, I like that  

What would getting rid of the debts mean? As in how much would you save? or is it like me and more that I don't like having them there. 

glad you had a better night XXX 

I dont save anything , I think 4 payments ago I was told I'd save £10 on the car loan and the credit card is on 0% until April 22 just have £515 in my account every month rather then going on d/d's .................problem is I don't trust myself to put it back in to my house fund.
It all needs to gone by the time I need a mortgage , heaven knows when that will be but at current rates the debt is gone by December 

I think if it doesn't save anything and you might not pay it back to yourself I would hang on....my 1640 is on 0% card and I was meant to save it for the vet fees but have spent it on other things.... so definitely do not trust myself, however if I want a mortgage in the next year I need to have 6 months clear of debt to help me and no defaults so I want it gone. 

efes_shareholder

Buffythedebtslayer said:

efes_shareholder said:

Buffythedebtslayer said:

I became aware of how near the C word is too Efes! Good plan on the reports, I like that  

What would getting rid of the debts mean? As in how much would you save? or is it like me and more that I don't like having them there. 

glad you had a better night XXX 

I dont save anything , I think 4 payments ago I was told I'd save £10 on the car loan and the credit card is on 0% until April 22 just have £515 in my account every month rather then going on d/d's .................problem is I don't trust myself to put it back in to my house fund.
It all needs to gone by the time I need a mortgage , heaven knows when that will be but at current rates the debt is gone by December 

I think if it doesn't save anything and you might not pay it back to yourself I would hang on....my 1640 is on 0% card and I was meant to save it for the vet fees but have spent it on other things.... so definitely do not trust myself, however if I want a mortgage in the next year I need to have 6 months clear of debt to help me and no defaults so I want it gone. 

its still possible to get a mortgage , the debts will come off what you are allowed to borrow in the affordability search and they really do impact , surprisingly so ..............i was told when I first looked in to it and I had around 6k of debt , if I had those when I took the mortgage I could borrow around 80k and if I cleared them in full by the time the mortgage was issued ( not 6 months before ) I could borrow around 125k , its really some difference. 
i have a default that doesn't drop off until Dec 22 and I have options available to me however you may need to go through a broker rather then a mainstream lender

Kitten868

I think you know you need to owe it to pay it. Yes you could quite easily set up a £515 standing order to a saver but will it be dipped in to? Could you try a £100 standing order to test yourself now? See how you do? 

Sorry my suggestions are useless. I hadn't considered that volume would be the issue. I was thinking consistency and urgency. I would love to work out the solution to just some element of it for you. I knew you were having some carers in but I know they've not done much to help. I was thinking maybe something more comprehensive. I know this whole thing is such a minefield. You're walking through it great.

Could your sister do some sleepovers? Xxx

efes_shareholder

Kitten868 said:

I think you know you need to owe it to pay it. Yes you could quite easily set up a £515 standing order to a saver but will it be dipped in to? Could you try a £100 standing order to test yourself now? See how you do? 

Sorry my suggestions are useless. I hadn't considered that volume would be the issue. I was thinking consistency and urgency. I would love to work out the solution to just some element of it for you. I knew you were having some carers in but I know they've not done much to help. I was thinking maybe something more comprehensive. I know this whole thing is such a minefield. You're walking through it great.

Could your sister do some sleepovers? Xxx

Suggestions are never useless, they are very much welcome and I'm humbled that you are trying to think of ways to help not everyone will
I dont trust myself to repay myself hence I plod along 

My sister could do more sleep overs but doesn't offer ! For example back in June I asked her to do tomorrow night as I had an invite , she agreed no problem. Usually i have Sundays and Mondays as respite , she made a bog point of saying to me the other day , did you want sat/ sun or sat / mon ....... why because shes petrified i will ask her to do all three
I've this week logged all hours spent giving care , I really should have done it before but it seemed a bit anal bit its my defence if I dare ask for 3 nights.
I may try for another night this week as NM is on his day shift but I get the guilt about her 12 year old even though as a past parent of a 12 Yr old boy he spends all evening on his games consoles and not with his mum and as long as someone is home ( he has 2 much older sisters 24 and 22 to overseas him )