Crazy Cat Lady Chapter 3 - A New Beginning

triple_choc_chip

How awful, for you and the kids. I hope tonight is peaceful and you can catch up on your sleep. Take care.

crazy_cat_lady

Hi everyone :hello:
Thank you a million times over for all your kind words and support. You really have no idea how much it means to me to know I have people on my side and in my corner.
I must have been shattered last night because I was asleep not long after 9pm. And I slept until one of the cats woke me at the usual time (half past four) to go out. I was quite nervous about opening the door, but off they went. I didn't manage to get back to sleep though... but I'd had a decent stretch.
I got an email from the police during the day saying that the officers dealing with my case would try to come round at some point tonight to see me. They haven't been yet but I know it depends on their workload and what comes in once they are on shift.
Got home and my neighbour called me straight over. Apparently ex had come to the house again during the day :mad: He pulled up in his van - saw the neighbours watching him and drove straight off again. I haven't rang to report this yet, as I thought I would do it when they visited, but if they don't come tonight I'll email in tomorrow and let them know. I am worried, but also very angry. I must have told him at least 10 times on the phone yesterday not to come back to the house and straight away the next day he's back again. I am starting to think that this harrassment or stalking and I want to make sure that I do everything I can to keep me and the kids safe. He is a decent bloke when he's sober, but a nightmare when he's drunk and unfortunately he is drunk every single day. His behaviour is reckless and unpredictable, and that is very scary indeed to me.
Also got an email back from my solicitor, advising me to hold off getting the occupation order as he thinks I'll struggle to recover costs from ex, and thinks that the police may put something in place that covers me without my having to pay for it in terms of him breaking the law on his own rather than my having to get a legal order from a judge. So I suppose it's all just a case of waiting to see what the police will do now, or if ex turns up again while I'm in the house. I freely confess to being completely and utterly stressed beyond belief about this. If I thought it was a pain waiting for the divorce to come through, it's even worse when you're not sure whether you're entirely safe...

triple_choc_chip

Don’t leave it, I would phone or email tonight, then if they weren’t going to visit this evening you will prompt a response. Hopefully they will visit him too. Thank goodness you have good neighbours.

beanielou

I have no words.
I cannot begin to think how stressful this is for you.

Your ex could end up being charged with drink driving.

Chrystal

If he's drinking and driving his van he IS a danger to both himself and others. Do you know if anyone in your road has CCTV, or set one up at your house... I don't think it's very expensive to get the gear these days and you'll be able to show the police if he keeps showing up.
Wish it was possible to do something to make you feel better... (((hugs)))

SpekySquarehead

Hey CCL

I know it seems like a never ending, constant nightmare for now but once things progress with the solicitors (and the police) hopefully everyone will be a better place.

Funnily enough, my mum and dad got divorced when I was 5, partly because my dad became an alcoholic and my mum couldn't handle it any more. In the years following, I seen my dad in some pretty horrendous scenarios which I'll unfortunately never forget, but I equally saw the occasional glimpse of a man who did actually care for me, and my mum to an extent. Most of all though, as I got older, I grew so much more appreciative of my mum and what she done for me. She was the one who shielded me from a lot of the ugliness when I was younger - much like you are doing just now. So, given you are, and will continue to be, an awesome mum to the kids, take solace in knowing that although it's difficult for all now, when the dust settles, the kids will know you made the right decision.

Thinking of you.

beanielou

Hope you had a calm night.

joeyjimbles

Oh my lord, I've just read through your last couple of posts and I'm so sorry. You must be so worn out and you're doing such a brilliant job of supporting your children, and being strong on top of it all. I hope the police were in touch last night and you managed to get some peace.

lincs1205

Hi CCL, I am so sorry you are going through all this, I truly take my hat off to you. Hope things get sorted for you soon.

crazy_cat_lady

Hello :wave:
All quiet last night. The police didn't get round after all, and ds and I went to bed just after 9 to watch The Apprentice together. I thought I was nervous but ds is very jumpy indeed. Every time a cat moved around the house, or scratched at the door he was up and asking what the noise was etc. Thankfully I was brave enough to let cats in an out, although more nervous than I should have been.
I decided to keep reporting stuff to the police so I rang again from work to report his visits to the house during the day. I have an appointment for an officer to come round at 7 tonight to discuss my options and advice. I have to say my mind is very much not on my work at the moment, and fretting about what might happen when I'm at home. I really hope that something can be sorted to put my mind at rest a little bit. I would be exhausted and counting the seconds until end of term anyway, but I don't seem to get any relaxation time at work or at home at the moment.
Thanks for the encouragement Speky - I try very hard to do what's best for the kids, without completely hiding everything from them. I tell them what's going on, hopefully in an age appropriate way. Some things I can't hide from though - like the police coming out in the middle of the night. I know I feel the same about my mam now - and how much rubbish she soaked up when she was with my dad. He's my dad and I love him, but not like I love my mam.
The police asked me about CCTV the other night - I don't have any and wouldn't really know about how to get any to be honest. But thankfully I get on well with my neighbours and they are almost always around and about and happy to report stuff on to me or the police. I might pop round to my other neighbour to ask him if he has CCTV. He owns a lot of cars so might well do...
Right, I'm going to get going and psyche myself up for this appointment.