Crazy Cat Lady Chapter 3 - A New Beginning

crazy_cat_lady

Hello :hello:
I am utterly exhausted today. Another unpleasant run in with my ex last night. Admittedly, I started the argument. I was so angry with him because he said he wanted to see the kids at the weekend, then dd tried to contact him to arrange something for yesterday and he just didn't respond at all. Then he tried to ring them both at 8pm and neither of them wanted to speak to him. So I sent him a 'savage' text message telling him his behaviour was unbelievable and it was time to sort himself out. He responded by calling me a pathological liar and accusing me of lying about basically everything, ever and telling lies about him. It was unpleasant, and ended with a warning from him that I would get what I deserve. Enough to make me feel threatened, and keep me awake for most of the night. He has got me totally questioning everything, which I suppose is easier for him - blame me then he doesn't have to deal with his own behaviour. But he says that I've made him out to be awful - he's not when he's sober - however he's not sober very often any more, and he's very unpredictable when he's drunk. Ah well - another day of trying to be a decent human being and being made to feel like I'm a failure. As always I will bounce back. The sooner this is all over the better.
Another busy day at work, and planning for an early night tonight. Safe to say I'm not on top of my game at the moment. I came straight home from work tonight, and am looking after my niece at the moment until my sister gets home. She's very entertaining
Don't know what else to report to be honest. My brain isn't working well...
NSD.

beanielou

So unfair to the kids
Keep plodding!

Honeysucklelou2

Sorry that you've had more to deal with. Hope you have a calm evening tonight and restorative sleep.

PurpleFairy26

Hope you've managed some rest cat thinking of you. You're doing amazingly well.

SpekySquarehead

Keep on keeping on CCL. You've been through much worse with him before and try not to let it get to you (easier said than done, I know).

kirtsypoos

CCL I'm so sorry I haven't been around, I will be catching up over the next few days hopefully but read your last post and wanted to send hugs

crazy_cat_lady

Hello :wave:
I'm still shattered, and I still have a headache. I wish that I could actually rest when I sleep instead of waking up every hour or so and panicking, or running through everything over and over again in my head and wishing for things to be over and sorted. I feel a bit better than I did yesterday and all has been quiet from the ex, which is good news but as usual I am spending a lot of time overthinking.
DS is down as well - think he's picking up on my stress, which makes me feel really guilty. I try to not let him get involved but he's a smart and perceptive kid, and obviously he's also devastated about how things have gone with his dad. I've spoken to his Head Teacher and he has an appointment for a 'chat' with the school nurse tomorrow - see if there's anything else we can do to help him. Unlike his dad, ds will not be ashamed of his feelings and will take whatever help is available. He needs to know that it's ok to be down and ok to ask someone to listen, or help you sort through your problems.
Anyway, I have a couple of appointments tomorrow, and one on Thursday which will hopefully keep things moving on that front. Thank goodness my Head Teacher is so understanding and doesn't mind me taking time off. I am quite relieved, but also uncomfortable about it as well. Other than that, work, and parents evening tomorrow night. I need to just focus on getting the bare minimum done and making sure I survive with my sanity intact over the next few weeks. I can do this

beanielou

You can ideed do this

SpekySquarehead

Hope your DS feels a bit better soon and the talk with his Head helps.

beanielou

Happy hump day