Best dating sites

Single_Dad_Still

Hi again,

So after advice given on my last post I!!!8217;ve decided to dip my toe in the dating game again. I haven!!!8217;t !!!8220;dated!!!8221; since I was 15 so expecting a challenge!!!

I!!!8217;ve signed up to Plenty of Fish but don!!!8217;t seem to be getting anywhere...has anyone had any success internet dating and with what sites?

Thanks in advance.



[purplesignup][/purplesignup]

gonzo127

well being a guy it tends to be harder. I believe the stats are something like 10 guys to every girl on the dating sites. so the girls can be VERY choosy but also they get bombarded constantly by messages so might not see yours. or it might not be the type of message that catches their attention.

there are so many things but I think the general advice is to not get down about not getting replied. make sure your profile is honest but eye catching. have multiple photos. of which you are smiling/having fun and when you message someone try for eye catching first. but also ask something about their profile. try to show you have actually read what they have written and are interested in find out out about them.

it will be hard. and if you are a normal guy it becomes more difficult as the players have been doing it for so long they have built up a good understanding on how to get replies. so you can be overshadowed. but if they are genuine women who is looking for a relationship with a genuine guy and not after a confidence boost then you can get replied too

kuratowski

First of all, best of luck with it and I hope you do find someone.

In my experience, dating sites require a thick skin and it's quite hard to keep going following one disappointment after another. Nonetheless, I did ultimately meet my lovely OH through Guardian Soulmates, and will be forever grateful for that.

Photos are really important, so make sure your profile photo is the best one possible. Try and come across as human on your profile, show you have a sense of humour and interests (don't just say it).

Totally agree with what Gonzo said as well.

marliepanda

Plenty of fish has plenty of people... however I find the quality is fairly low... (no offence op!)

OKCupid is free and whilst there may not be as many people, I find the calibre is a little higher.

I!!!8217;ve never used tinder but that!!!8217;s insanely popular nowadays and everyone seems to be on it, so could be worth a try?

I also know people who had success with match but that!!!8217;s a paid service.

LavenderBee

If it provides you with any hope OP, I met my husband on Plenty of Fish. I agree with what others said above; girls can get bombarded by players, messages that just say "hi"; and the rest I will leave to your imagination...(!)

My husband's first message to me showed that a) he had read my profile and b) was a compliment (but not just lewd or an attempt to boost my confidence so I'd throw myself into bed with him). He also used proper grammar, spelling and punctuation (does it for me!). There are real people out there, who are there because they do not have the time or inclination to spend all night looking hopeful at someone in a dingy bar or whatever every Saturday night.

Certainly list your interests and hobbies properly. I had a blanket ban on those who just put "socialising" and/or "relaxing" on their profile.

LavenderBee

Oh and good luck :beer:

gonzo127

oh and some other advice. ask a female friend to check over your profile and see if they can see any red flags or suggestions of things that they see in you that you might not see as a good point. as in most instances we are out own harshest critic and things we see in ourselves as faults can actually be good points to others

DUTR

gonzo127 wrote: »

oh and some other advice. ask a female friend to check over your profile and see if they can see any red flags or suggestions of things that they see in you that you might not see as a good point. as in most instances we are out own harshest critic and things we see in ourselves as faults can actually be good points to others

Your 1st post was more to the point, it's 7:1 I read.
It also depends on what the OP is seeking, the attitude and hope of many profiles I read are SM unemployed seeking some kind of sugar daddy (sorry, kind caring male willing to be far down any pecking order) .
There is little point posting a 4 page essay as a 1st message as 1 it may not get read, 2 they still probably won't reply.
I have met some good folk on POF, but the majority of profiles I view are (I get the impression) they have no intention of meeting and just using their profile as a confidence boost.
Then have the cheek of things like telling you what pics you should/shouldn't have (yet they have filtered pics) , they don't want you messaging others whilst they decide (yet they are filtering through their own messages) , that said the ladies have their own negative angle on the candidates when they view too.
Good luck and keep swiping right, mutual matches show on meet me and those seem more bothered and worth investing time over.

Syntax753

A close friend of mine actually met his girl on POF and 3 years on I think he still can't believe it.
Certainly proves there are real people on there.

Also know some guys who have had success on Tinder though I've never had a single message on there. Then again, I always swipe left.

All other dating sites I can think of use bots. A hobby of mine is generating bots to talk to their bots so I can get an estimate of just how few real people are on there and it's 10000 - 1 on some of them. So be aware of that. The easiest way to tell a bot (other than the pic) is usernames with "x" on both sides of it. Or any number in the username with 4 digits. Especially when they start with 0.

And also names with 2 words in it.

For example
xSallyx
Lulu0078
ClaireWendy
Etc

By far the best place I'd recommend is IRC
You can download a free client or I believe even get a browser plugin

It involves just text and precedes google etc You join a room (say #london) and everyone in that room listed on the right can see everything you type which appears on the left when you hit enter.

No photos, music,videos, fonts, colours etc just chatting. And usually the room you pick is where you'll find people similarly interested (for example #london tends to have londoners in there). However, it also includes people asking about London etc from around the world. So great way to meet and chat to people who you already know have something in common with you.

And as it's text only, it focuses on your humour etc more than a fine-tuned portfolio of Q&A and best photos etc

I recommend it highly and feel free to pm if you have any questions as to how to get onto it. I recommend Undernet network as it has most people on there.

Good luck!

caprikid1

I've had a couple of serious relationships from POf, just bought a house with the latest of over 2 years. Had many dates from POF, some people are very fussy and might only go on as little as a date every six months. First impressions are important you rarely get anywhere if the first message is rubbish. Read profiles etc. Real mix of people on there some good some bad, I still think it's better than going to a pub etc as I can fit in looking when it suits me.

AubreyMac

gonzo127 wrote: »

well being a guy it tends to be harder. I believe the stats are something like 10 guys to every girl on the dating sites. so the girls can be VERY choosy but also they get bombarded constantly by messages so might not see yours. or it might not be the type of message that catches their attention.

Really? where did you get this from?


I can swear there are far more women and a lot of men I see on there are fakes. Most genuine guys tend to want sex and the ones who want a serious relationship are few and far between.
The ones I've done are POf, Tinder and Bumble though I do see some of the same blokes across all those sites.


The gender imbalance is also the case when I go out socially to meetups, it's almost all women (like 90% at least). Of course this does depend on the activity though, I tend to do meals out and theatre which may not appeal to the average guy. When I go on hikes, pub quizzes or day trips there are more men but still mostly women. I think single men must just sit at home watching tv.


Once of my friends met her partner on eharmony, but most of the couples I know met through guardian soulmates.


I have thought about guardian soulmates but I think it may give the wrong impression of me. I don't read the guardian (or any paper for that matter). Perhaps its just my prejudism but Guardian to me indicated high education and middle class (I'm neither of those). If I had to read a newspaper I'm more likely to read the sun or daily mail.