Money Moral Dilemma: Should I cut my sons out of my will?

Andy65x

Reminds me about the current TSB crisis MELTDOWN whose parent was Lloyds.

Lloyds being the parent have it in their mind (if it wasn't for me you wouldn't be where you are today)
As soon as the children, TSB in this case handle all the affairs that Lloyds couldn't be bothered with and having done a tremendous job in showing that they are very capable indeed of independence, it is Lloyds the parent that spits it's Dummy out of it's pram and sabotages any attempt to give the young ones independence. Letting them do the job they are good at.
Older is not necessarily wiser.
I'm sure Lloyds are sat there thinking (I'm not having this, I'm cutting you off )
While this fracas is escalating we all have to watch the death throws of Lloyds. No doubt just to be nice we have to let Lloyds continue being an overseer just so they can keep their hand in. In the meantime we are all affected by this abuse of power !
What a calamity.
Anyway, on a lighter note. I want access to money that I entrusted which I cannot now get hold of. The trussell trust which I contributed food to will no doubt come in handy for me. As I will now be able to use the service and not feel guilty in taking back what I contributed in good faith. I really do fancy beans on toast right now.
No doubt there will be some out there that say (let them eat cake) I would say, go eat crumbs cos that is all that is left.
Only trouble is the birds will now be going on strike. They have been pecking at my window in morse code saying we are the 99% we want our crumbs. Of course we are all in this together.
We are all on a big ship (the earth) arguing with each other.

Andy65x

It all sounds very petty. Are you in good health or do you expect to depart this world soon?

One of my mum's favourite threats is to leave everything to the cats home. I told her she was welcome to.

In reply to the above contribution.

I love this reply. I would have said the same thing. And don't forget. All is not lost because after all is said and done you can then volunteer at the said cats home !

Toddy1954

My Mum chose to cut my brother and sister from her will as she was angry and disappointed with them. They contested her will and this caused a delay of almost 2 years before the estate was settled. I would have been prepared to shared her estate equally with them, if they had not made allegations that she was not of sound mind and produced false wills. We have not spoken for over 15 years.

lukes7913

Pollycat wrote: »

How about the children of the OP of this MMD show some responsibility - and respect towards their mother?
Maybe they should forget their feud and stop with the text messages.

"I'll stop hitting him as soon as he stops hitting me." - this should be beneath you. The world is a tragic place full of conflict - you can step up and be better but you can't compel others to change (especially punitively). You're merely proposing adding to the tragedy.

Pollycat wrote: »

No it isn't bigger.
For some families maybe, but not all.

You've decided that - I doubt it brings you comfort.

Pollycat wrote: »

Perhaps the children of the OP of the MMD should consider what their Mother has done for them already.
Perhaps they should consider the pain they've been causing her for years.
The point of rearing children?
Maybe the parents of Fred West, Harold Shipman, Peter Sutcliffe et al could tell you what they think the point of rearing children is.

This must be some sort of Godwin's Law equivalent. Again - this reads: "No, but what about them! I shouldn't change, everyone else should!"

Luke_4:23 wrote:

Physician, heal thyself.

Pollycat

lukes7913 wrote: »

"I'll stop hitting him as soon as he stops hitting me." - this should be beneath you. The world is a tragic place full of conflict - you can step up and be better but you can't compel others to change (especially punitively). You're merely proposing adding to the tragedy.


You've decided that - I doubt it brings you comfort.


This must be some sort of Godwin's Law equivalent. Again - this reads: "No, but what about them! I shouldn't change, everyone else should!"

Just playing Devil's advocate, my dear.
There really are 2 sides to every story. :whistle:

The bottom line is - it's entirely up to the person making the will who will and who won't be included.

Andy65x wrote: »

It all sounds very petty. Are you in good health or do you expect to depart this world soon?

And including your Mother in a 10 year long feud with your sibling and sending "foul-mouthed text messages" to her isn't petty?

Staffybullterrier

There is a possibility that if you threatened to cut your sons out of your will they might put on a show and pretend to get on just so they can get the money . If they have been arguing for years they will never change.
Leave it to your daughter but make the will watertight , leave it to friends or simply spend it.

happyinflorida

If your sons are feuding it could be down to your poor parenting techniques that they are behaving in this way - have you thought of that?

So why plan to disinherit them when it's possibly your fault?

Leaving everything to your one daughter could mean trouble for her.

Your sons could also decide to fight your will and all your money or most of it, could be lost in solicitor fees and they might end up getting an equal share out between them all in the end anyway.

It's your choice what you do at the end of the day but don't leave a legacy that will cause more harm than good. I don't think that would be fair on your daughter.

GrumpyDil

Just one quick observation to all those saying that any will could be challenged. There are limited grounds on which this can be done such as the testator not being of sound mind and claiming under the dependants legislation. If you want to specifically disinherit somone the best way of doing this is to leave a nominal gift as this shows you have not forgotten about them but have considered them and decided what you want to leave them.

I do however agree about thinking very carefully about this as finding this out after death causes a lot of anger and hurt which cannot be easily resolved.

Pollycat

happyinflorida wrote: »

If your sons are feuding it could be down to your poor parenting techniques that they are behaving in this way - have you thought of that?

So why plan to disinherit them when it's possibly your fault?

Leaving everything to your one daughter could mean trouble for her.

Your sons could also decide to fight your will and all your money or most of it, could be lost in solicitor fees and they might end up getting an equal share out between them all in the end anyway.

It's your choice what you do at the end of the day but don't leave a legacy that will cause more harm than good. I don't think that would be fair on your daughter.

I assume the author of the MMD is OK with the way her daughter is behaving as they are considering leaving assets only to them so I doubt it's poor parenting techniques.
More likely to be poorly behaved blokes who can't keep their feud to themselves but instead have to involve their parent.

martinbuckley

There's no point asking questions of the OP as it was posted by a MSE rep who wont be back to answer on their behalf.