Money Moral Dilemma: Should I cut my sons out of my will?

cathb2017

Disinheriting one or two children in favour of another will cause a family feud over more than a generation, so it is not advisable. Leave your finance in order so that there is no cause for argument after your death.

I would , from personal experience, really avoid all talks or threats about inheritance. It will only make any existing problem worse. Surely, it is enough of a worry that there are bad feelings in the family. Why add money consideration to the mix?

determined_new_ms

Fireflyaway wrote: »

I'd only not include a child if they really really did something totally unforgivable. Your will is your parting gesture. It could impact your sons forever. They can't ask questions or apologize when you are gone. Write them a letter to explain how hurt you feel and ask them to make up.

I agree whole heartedly with this. My nan left everything to 2 out of 3 of her children. It caused such a lot of heart ache in my family following her death and has caused irrevocable damage

vitamin_joe

As far as I can see, the feud and the language are symptoms of deeper familial issues. Perhaps communication with the people involved will help to heal those problems. It is possible mediation would help. Ultimately, I expect you would prefer to have a better relationship with your sons; unless it is simply that you want to punish them by writing them out of your will.

TakeItEazy

My mum did this but she left my brothers share to be split between his children.

laurenzo_2

If you live in Scotland there!!!8217;s a thing called legal rights so they would each be able to claim a share anyway regardless of your attempts. Google for more info if you live in Scotland

bertiewhite

Fritter it all away, go see the world and leave nothing.

libertysurf

Maybe the sons’ feuds are from vying for position within the family. Maybe they feel less valued than the daughter. A will excluding them will only confirm their suspicions and lead them to hate you for ever.

jaygil

I would definitely not do this. You'll be dead so it's not as if you gain anything by doing it. Your daughter will not gain either as she will bear the brunt of the bad feelings, so in the end your gift to your daughter will be poisonous. You could give some to charity, but I would strongly suggest sharing the amount you give your children equally.

lilmisstrouble

If your sons have children why not leave their share in trust for them. I agree with other posters that leaving it all to you daughter just passes on the issues you have with them to your daughter.

You could tell your sons that unless they stop involving you in their feud you will exclude them. Then if they didn’t they only have themselves to blame. Make them realise that actions have consequences

joehoover

If you are planning on threatening this now it is basically a bribe, will it solve the fued and the problems they've caused? Chances are it won't, it will keep resurfacing. In all likelihood your daughter would then also be dragged into it whilst you are still here and long after, that's not particularly fair on her. It will snowball into something even more bitter.

Importantly you don't have to leave them anything, enjoy your retirement. Go on a long trip and get away for their behaviour.

But also consider resolving this fued without any dangling carrots, it does depend on what happened to create this fued but if there is a legitimate reason for their issues then don't accept them involving you, say you are done with it and won't tolerate being on the receiving end of their messages anymore. Say you don't want to see your family broken apart my fighting, they need to resolve their differences, or they need to keep you completely out of it. You don't want your time spent fretting over them.

Do that then book yourself that trip and get away from all their nonsense