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Renting to a boyfriend?
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The difference between you and the OP is that you sound like a nice bloke in a stable relationship with his head screwed on. The OP sounds like a spoilt brat who's going to make a terrible mother.
The OP has asked for advice on charging her partner (the father of her child) rent. jezmyres replied that he is already charging his partner (the mother of his child) rent.
The OP is dismissed as "a spoilt brat who's going to make a terrible mother" and jezmyres is lauded for being "a nice bloke".
Double standards anyone?
As a general point, and as a relatively new member of this forum, there seems to be a persistent minority of posters on here who seem to be getting nastier by the day.
It's a shame, because some members of this forum do give good advice.0 -
The difference between you and the OP is that you sound like a nice bloke in a stable relationship with his head screwed on. The OP sounds like a spoilt brat who's going to make a terrible mother.
Seems like the situation is very similar in both cases. One part of the couple has a house they bought themselves, pregnancy happens and couple co-habit with child as a result. Person who owns the house is afraid of losing part/all of it if the relationship ends.
Personally, if I was part of a couple and found myself living together and having children whilst being told by my partner that the house was hers and hers alone (and being expected to pay 'rent')I wouldn't be too happy about it. But I guess we all have different levels of what we're prepared to put up with.--
Every pound less borrowed (to buy a house) is more than two pounds less to repay and more than three pounds less to earn, over the course of a typical mortgage.0 -
oh I totally agree that it's an ours and we are a family, well, when the birth happens we will be and I can't wait.
Thank you for the kind comment about me being a nice guy, I'm simply trying to do what's best for both us and myself (and get the balance right as being somewhere in between) which is all anyone can do.
Our modern society largely does represent a "me me me" attitude but not everyone's like that. In the same way, it's the "me me me" attitude that allows men to get screwed over when their wife has an affair, takes their child, half their assets and a third of their future wages. All I want to do is go into this situation with my eyes as wide open as possible and protect myself from a "what if". People get contents insurance to proect them from a what if, people equally get life insurance for the same reason, it doesn't mean you expect to get robbed or die you're simply protecting yourself against the possibility.
Yeah, I hit the reply button when I read an earlier post, before I got to your post.
Frankly, I'm mystified as to why you aren't receiving a barrage of criticism as the original poster did. You are essentially in the same position of being so worried about losing equity in your house that you are trying to 'protect' yourself from the partner you live with and mother of your child.
If the prospect of losing some of the 'paper profits' you have made from three years of house price inflation merits you taking your partner and child in as, essentially, lodgers then I really despair.
If you're so worried about losing a few quid of equity then you might want to consider that in the event of a split the court will most likely place priority on the welfare of the child which most likely will be in the primary custody of the mother. Since you'll have been cohabiting in the house for an indeterminate period of time by then and she'll have been paying you money for the privilege the court may well decide that she does in fact have rights in respect to 'your' property.
It's amazing how the little spinning dollar signs of house price inflation seem to have warped people's priorities.--
Every pound less borrowed (to buy a house) is more than two pounds less to repay and more than three pounds less to earn, over the course of a typical mortgage.0 -
The OP has asked for advice on charging her partner (the father of her child) rent. jezmyres replied that he is already charging his partner (the mother of his child) rent.
The OP is dismissed as "a spoilt brat who's going to make a terrible mother" and jezmyres is lauded for being "a nice bloke".
Double standards anyone?
As a general point, and as a relatively new member of this forum, there seems to be a persistent minority of posters on here who seem to be getting nastier by the day.
It's a shame, because some members of this forum do give good advice.
I think you're overlooking the fact that I am a nice bloke! I can't comment on the OP as I don't know them. As I said above, I suspect it's all about how you present your argument and back it up.0 -
Frankly, I'm mystified as to why you aren't receiving a barrage of criticism as the original poster did. You are essentially in the same position of being so worried about losing equity in your house that you are trying to 'protect' yourself from the partner you live with and mother of your child.
I'm suprised that i'm not receiving a barrage of complaints too but then equally, as posted earlier above, I'm not actually sure what i'm doing wrong. I'm not worried about losing the equity in my house, i'm worried about the possibility that I MIGHT POSSIBLY one day lose part of the equity in my house thus forcing me to lose my house.If the prospect of losing some of the 'paper profits' you have made from three years of house price inflation merits you taking your partner and child in as, essentially, lodgers then I really despair.
If you're so worried about losing a few quid of equity then you might want to consider that in the event of a split the court will most likely place priority on the welfare of the child which most likely will be in the primary custody of the mother. Since you'll have been cohabiting in the house for an indeterminate period of time by then and she'll have been paying you money for the privilege the court may well decide that she does in fact have rights in respect to 'your' property.
Does this mean that I should take my partner and future child in and not expect them to pay rent?
As stated in an earlier post, by my gf moving in and my tenant moving out the figures look like this. My tenant was paying £350 a month incl bills to me which my gf will be paying most of whilst she is working, approx £300. When she is on maternity leave, as she's moved up here she'll only be entitled to MA so therefore it's not really feasible that she continues to pay £300 a month so, again, I will swallow the missing amount for the next 6-9+ months. She won't be entitled to HB whilst she's on MA or the fact that she's on a low wage whilst working.
So here's the other option. She doesn't live with me, I continue to rent out the other room at £350 a month. She goes into council/HA property, has the baby, claims various benefits and claims housing benefit at say £125 a week of taxpayers money.
Her moving in with me isn't a financially sound idea. it's significantly worse for me to do so but we are doing so because we're a couple and we want to be together. However, I am taking a pretty big financial hit to have her living with me and don't see why, on top of that, I should be liable for losing a percentage of my house.
Surely, if this is the case, I should say to her "get your own place and we'll be much better off, despite the fact we won't be living together"?
As for the possibility of a split and a court's decision to award a percentage of the property, again, is this not further proof that it is more "sensible" for unmarried partners with a child to live in separate properties therefore placing a burden on the state?
Again, not the case at all, but what I am trying to protect is the ability to maintain the standard of living which I am accustomed to in the case of a worst case scenario. As I have said time and time again, my priority is my girlfriend and my future child, look at the figures that i've posted above and you will see that, if anything, this is certainly not a financially sensible move. My reasoning for her moving in for us was so that we could be a family, albeit one where the parents weren't married. Now I am finding out and, in my mind rightly, concerned that by doing so I'm not only setting myself up to lower my income but I am also potentially giving away a percentage of my property. I find it amazing how anyone can think that this makes sense.It's amazing how the little spinning dollar signs of house price inflation seem to have warped people's priorities.0 -
I have a simple take on this. If I did not think my relationship would stand the test of time, and was worried about the man having a share of my house if we split, I would not even be considering moving in with the man or having a baby by him.
It is not compulsory to live together, even if you are having a baby.(AKA HRH_MUngo)
Member #10 of £2 savers club
Imagine someone holding forth on biology whose only knowledge of the subject is the Book of British Birds, and you have a rough idea of what it feels like to read Richard Dawkins on theology: Terry Eagleton0 -
If the prospect of losing some of the 'paper profits' you have made from three years of house price inflation merits you taking your partner and child in as, essentially, lodgers then I really despair.
If you're so worried about losing a few quid of equity then you might want to consider that in the event of a split the court will most likely place priority on the welfare of the child which most likely will be in the primary custody of the mother.
Clearly this is the important issue, who has custody of the child. Whoever that is will obviously be awarded financial help from the other parent. Either that or perhaps the courts could arrange to cut the child in half if the parents split up and are not willing to share their assets in the child's interest 0 -
Does this mean that I should take my partner and future child in and not expect them to pay rent?
As stated in an earlier post, by my gf moving in and my tenant moving out the figures look like this. My tenant was paying £350 a month incl bills to me which my gf will be paying most of whilst she is working, approx £300. When she is on maternity leave, as she's moved up here she'll only be entitled to MA so therefore it's not really feasible that she continues to pay £300 a month so, again, I will swallow the missing amount for the next 6-9+ months. She won't be entitled to HB whilst she's on MA or the fact that she's on a low wage whilst working.
I'm not sure you've thought this through. Let's say you have the agreement that the property remains all yours and your GF pays rent.
You talk of a rent holiday during the maternity leave but what about afterwards? If the GF stays home to look after baby then how can she pay rent? If you stay at home to look after baby then how can you pay your share? If you both work then how will GF afford both childcare costs AND rent to you? It sounds like you can't afford childcare costs if you need the rent?
Let's say the worst happens and you split up. You keep the property, does the child then live with you? If so that raises the childcare costs again. How will you get a new lodger to pay the rent if there is a screaming baby in the house?
OTH if you split up and the child lives with her then how will she afford that Will she even get benefits if you are sitting on a wad of equity? Will you sleep nights if your child is in a grotty council house or worse? Do you really think the council will house them when you've got a perfectly good property yourself? I really do think your property will be at risk as you look for a way to house your child Maybe you can post how you would arrange things should a split occur?
It's a bit late now but maybe your having a child wasn't the best idea at this time? Although I do admire your frankness.0 -
by jezmyersHowever, I am taking a pretty big financial hit to have her living with me and don't see why, on top of that, I should be liable for losing a percentage of my house.
"I am taking a pretty big financial hit to have her living with me".
I am really shocked at your response towards your GF!
We have been told by you that you really care for her and are very happy in your relationship and you want to make a family unit together.
If this is the case why don't you marry the lady? Make an honourable woman out of her and give the child the security of knowing his/her parents are totally committed to each other. This is what marriage is all about...commitment. It's not old fashioned to get married....it's the norm. It's give and take, as well as total unselfishness on both sides.
When this child is old enough to hear about the way his/her Daddy wanted to protect his assets against his/her Mummy getting anything, how do you think the child will view you? How will this child ever feel secure? Believe me, children are not stupid and they do sense things, as well as find out the truths...
All this talk about assets and yet no mention about the poor child, who in the future may suffer emotionally because Mummy and Daddy weren't committed enough to each other!
Why did you opt to conceive this child under these circumstances? I'm just interested to know?0
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