I want to believe I can do this!

Siebrie

Can you discuss a budget regarding family help with your husband? We set aside something every month for those cases that the relatives urgently need money, for instance a sameday funeral. We also gift 100EUR for every wedding and baby. That said, husband took all his femal relatives to a clinic when he was there in May for a free (governmentfunded) birth control implant. He will do so again with any other female relatives and friends next time he visits.

We help one child per family (husband has 8 brothers and sisters) through vocational training, with the message that it will be their job to help their own family as soon as they have graduated.

Every time husband goes to visit for a month, we (I) calculate a budget: flights and stay, gift per person down to the cent, money for house improvements down to the cent (it is his sister's house, but neither sister nor other relatives claim to have money to maintain it - a sore point...). Both in European and local currency, printed out with tick boxes, so that husband keeps track.

I regularly (once or twice a year) write down everything that bothers me and email it to him, then we have a good talk and can continue. I have to be very upfront, insist on getting my way at times, and check that we understand each other.

Maybe you would like to join the kondo threat on the Old Style board? It's great for pointing you towards the things, events, and people that bring you joy.

pidge04

Siebrie wrote: »

Can you discuss a budget regarding family help with your husband? We set aside something every month for those cases that the relatives urgently need money, for instance a sameday funeral. We also gift 100EUR for every wedding and baby. That said, husband took all his femal relatives to a clinic when he was there in May for a free (governmentfunded) birth control implant. He will do so again with any other female relatives and friends next time he visits.

We help one child per family (husband has 8 brothers and sisters) through vocational training, with the message that it will be their job to help their own family as soon as they have graduated.

Every time husband goes to visit for a month, we (I) calculate a budget: flights and stay, gift per person down to the cent, money for house improvements down to the cent (it is his sister's house, but neither sister nor other relatives claim to have money to maintain it - a sore point...). Both in European and local currency, printed out with tick boxes, so that husband keeps track.

I regularly (once or twice a year) write down everything that bothers me and email it to him, then we have a good talk and can continue. I have to be very upfront, insist on getting my way at times, and check that we understand each other.

Maybe you would like to join the kondo threat on the Old Style board? It's great for pointing you towards the things, events, and people that bring you joy.

Wow, that is really impressive.

pidge04

A mere 79 days to go!

pidge04

75 days until my 2 smaller credit cards debt are no longer...it’s tough this month...but all direct debits have been paid...2 weeks until pay day and more debt busting!

abba1772

That's not long at all ..........how exciting you'll be two debts providers down xx

ftbwannabe

Happy weekend, pidge

pidge04

Hello
The days are whizzing by. Work has been all consuming.
I’m starting to get the credit cards bills through for next month. Debating whether to pay off the balance on the lowest credit card so that is clear. And the minimum on the second lowest. Or whether to stick to my plan of paying them off together. Not sure.
These last few days I have been tempted to put a couple of things onto my credit cards (like Christmas presents) but have resisted. I’m so pleased I have.
I’ve been wondering whether to just pay minimums and have a bit of spare cash to spend on Christmas. However, my motivation to pay off these 2 debts is stronger than my motivation to consume at Christmas.
In my mind, I am expecting that things will be less tough come the New Year when 2 debts will be paid off. Then I remember there’s still the big credit card debt and the overdrafts and the loan...I am not out of the woods!!
But I am in a better position than last year.

Danthewelder

Good luck. You're debts may feel hideous but at least you've got a reasonable amount of money coming in.

I earn a reasonable amount but have never not been in debt. I think my problem is that my budgets are never 100% realistic.

E.g. when you say 'I don't know where the extra money goes' - that has always been my problem.

Anyway good luck, I'll be following in hope of inspiration.

efes_shareholder

Just keep reminding yourself how far you have come and how much you have acheived so far

You may not have cleared the forest but you can see the wood from the trees

Working_Mum

There is something really motivational about paying off a credit card!! When I crawled out of hideous debt levels after my divorce I displayed my credit card statements showing their nil balance on my fridge as a motivator for paying down the rest!!

You are spending consciously and paying stuff off which is great news! You should be proud of what you have achieve as efes says you can now see the wood for the trees!