Taking my ex to court

mgdavid

unholyangel wrote: »

....... I'm sorry you're not confident enough in your views to debate the merit of them. .......

Or it could well be they are so confident in their views that they see no need to debate them with one who seems only to want to pick a fight.

unholyangel

mgdavid wrote: »

Or it could well be they are so confident in their views that they see no need to debate them with one who seems only to want to pick a fight.

I don't see pointing out they were wrong as picking a fight.

Being willing to post your views on a public forum but expecting no one to question them is unrealistic. Such is the internet.

Notice I'm not accusing them or you of trying to pick a fight. Notice I'm not making any comments on their post count or history. People do that when they're not confident enough to debate on merit - they start attacking the poster in question because its the only thing they have to rely on.

Thanks for proving my point for me.

mgdavid

unholyangel wrote: »

I don't see pointing out they were wrong as picking a fight.

Being willing to post your views on a public forum but expecting no one to question them is unrealistic. Such is the internet.

Notice I'm not accusing them or you of trying to pick a fight. Notice I'm not making any comments on their post count or history. People do that when they're not confident enough to debate on merit - they start attacking the poster in question because its the only thing they have to rely on.

Thanks for proving my point for me.

No attack on the poster from me, but maybe you are unsure of yourself sufficient to feel the need to defend yourself even when there's nothing to defend from!
I simply say what I see before me. My POV will be (is) different from yours.

Tammykitty

Sambella wrote: »

Child maintenance regulations (article 50 I think it is) state that where day to day care is shared equally the payee is no longer considered to be non resident.

A recent upper tribunal ruled on what constitutes non resident.

If you go on nights only then CMS will be paid if one has them 7 nights but the other has them seven days. CMS calculator works on number of nights.

Do you have a link for this? I think this a great news - a step in the right direction!

HoneyNutLoop

Tammykitty wrote: »

Do you have a link for this? I think this a great news - a step in the right direction!

This is the Upper Tribunal decision Sambella refers to:
http://www.bailii.org/uk/cases/UKUT/AAC/2017/296.pdf

TBagpuss

OP, as a first step, u would suggest that you make an appointment to talk to a local solicitor. You can find one via https://www.resolution.org . Many family solicitors will offer a free initial meeting so you can get some advice (including some idea of costs) before committing yourself.

It's true that spousal maintenance is relatively rare these days, but it can be appropriate in some situations, for example, for a short-term period where there are very young children or other reasons why is reasonable for the spouse receiving it to be supported for a short period (1-2 years) while they adjust and work on becoming more independent.

You also mentioend that your ex is talking about you each having 50% of the equity from the house. Again, get some advice. A 50/50 split is the starting point but it may be reasonable for the split to be unequal, to take into account circumstances such as what the children's needs are, what income and earning capacity you and he both have. You also need to consider any other assets such as pensions.

Mediation can be very helpful, but it is not a substitute for legal advice and if you have not yet had any advice, go get some, so you have a clearer idea of what you might reasonably be entitled to.

Realistically, you will not be able to keep the same standard of living as you had as a couple - it is not possible to run two households for the cost of on, and it is unlikely that your additional income from any tax credits or benefits will make up the difference in cost between being a couple and being 2 single people.


Things to think about:

Can you afford the mortgage and outgoings on the house, even of you are not in a position to remortgage to take your ex off the mortgage? If so, then staying in the family home, and your ex receiving his share of the equity at a later stage, when the children are older, may be an option.

If you can't afford it, what can you afford? If getting a smaller mortgage a smaller property an option, if you had more than 50% of the equity? Again, if so, then having more than 50% of the equityso that you can provide a more secure home for the childnre may be a possibility, either with your husband having a charge over the new propery, or not, depending in the figures and the value of other assets.

Are you likely to be able t oreach a point where you could do one of those things, in the near future (say within 12-18 months)? If so, then a short elay in selling thre house, and some short term spousal maintenace, might be possible - this might be an option if there would be a realistic possibility of you increasing your hours, or getting a new job with better hours, in the short term.

If increasing your hours in your current role is not an option, s getting a second job a possibility? Even if it does not significantly increase you income once child care costs are taken into account, it may still be worth doing as it may increase your mortgage capacity, and improve your chances of moving towards full financial independence.

In financial terms, it may well make sense for your husband to work full time and contribute to the child care costs rather than his reducing his hours to care for the children. Have you put to him a request that he pays child care costs rather than framing it s spousal maintenance? It may come to the same thing financially, but he may be more willing to pay for his children than for you.