Taking my ex to court

mgdavid

Hello.kitty wrote: »

I am at present in the process of divorcing my husband.
We have had mediation and although he says he will pay child maintenance I am asking him for extra money by way of spousal maintenance. I have 2 children, one is 7 the other is 18months. I work part time and get working tax credits, but will still be in deficit each month.
My part time job is well paid and changing to full time is not possible and another job wouldn't pay as much.
My question is, as he is refusing to pay any more money and I take him to court how much will it cost, only a rough idea.
The reason I ask is because I don't want to risk paying out more than I stand to receive. I have asked a couple of solicitors and they are vague. I was wondering if anyone had experienced it first hand and could guide me.
We are talking about an amount of about an extra £400pm, he earns over £60k.
Thanks.

Trying to stick to the question -
More than you can afford; £thousands, in the range several to many.

FBaby

So the same person indeed. OP, you work for a bank, of course you could get a FT job in London in your field. Why would this company be paying you for 2 days what you believe other banks wouldn't even pay for 5?
If indeed you are getting in two days the equivalent of a FT position, then you can't be doing so badly currently.

Most spousal maintenance was awarded to women who had never worked in their lives because of an agreement between her and her husband, or worked very minimal hours in low paid jobs, and were able to argue that having been out of the job market for so long when doing so was a joint decision that benefited the marriage, they would never be able to gain employment that would allow them to support themselves.

Nowadays, this is becoming quite rare with tax credits. You situation is not even close to that one. You have a good job and an ability to support yourself now and in the future. You don't get spousal maintenance because you quite like to work only 2 days but expect to continue with a lifestyle of someone working FT in a high earning job. Marriage is never guaranteed and however painful it is when you realised that you've been betrayed, divorce is now a common feature and so are the consequences of it.

JamoLew

Maybe if you push the issue, he will go for full custody. You will then be liable for support.
He may then decide to go part time to spend more time with the children or because childcare costs don't make sense working full time.
Then he will come after you for spousal support !! Could happen.

To answer your question, which many already have ---- getting spousal maintainable in your situation would be exceedingly unusual and likely to cost significantly more than you can afford.

Sambella

It seems clear that there is not a true 50/50 shared care arrangement in place as if there was there would be no child maintenance to pay.

unforeseen

Sambella wrote: »

It seems clear that there is not a true 50/50 shared care arrangement in place as if there was there would be no child maintenance to pay.

Not neccesarily. It all hinges on each person's income. If equal then no CM to pay otherwise higher earner will pay some CM

PrettyKittyKat

Hello.kitty wrote: »

I have put your suggestion to him before, but he refuses to change the days as it apparently fits in with his work schedule.
I do live in London, My children are used to a bedroom each and a garden. I see no reason why they should suffer and be worse off. This is all about them not me. I really don't think I could hold down two jobs anyway, there are personal reasons why that would not be possible. I will contact CAB for further advice.

Not having a bedroom each or a garden isn't 'suffering'. A child that is unable to eat as there isn't enough money to buy food, has no clean clothes to wear, is given no affection from their parent(s) etc is a child that is suffering. You and your husband clearly love your children and have enough money to provide basic necessities, so your children will be happy and will not be suffering. The things you have listed are materialistic. Children don't grow into adults that spend hours reminiscing about the fact they had their own bedroom, they reminisce about the hours spent laughing with family, and sometimes that includes making do with what they had! Don't put pressure on yourself to provide exactly what they have now, because their family situation has changed so it is to be expected that their living arrangements will too. This does't mean that one is worse than the other. Definitely sort out the child maintenance side of things as the figure isn't fair. Have you asked him about increasing it higher than what is suggested given that you look after them during the day and he doesn't? Just because CSA says he should pay a certain amount doesn't mean he can't pay more.

CurlySue2017

John-K wrote: »

I wonder how common views such as the OPs are nowadays. Choosing to divorce her husband, and expects him to be happy to keep her living as she did previously, even though he will be nothing like as well off as he once was.

It just makes no sense. Why, if you are divorcing someone, would they want to keep paying for you? For the children, yes, of course, but why would the ex-wife not expect to cut her cloth according to her needs?

This, this and this again!!

Women screaming out for equality and then you get posts like this where they expect to be kept in a certain lifestyle by a man that they no longer want to be with.....is this a joke?!

Making it about the kids is just, well, utter rubbish.

The responses would also be very different if this were posted by a man and not a woman, I guarantee it.

Comms69

Sambella wrote: »

It seems clear that there is not a true 50/50 shared care arrangement in place as if there was there would be no child maintenance to pay.

unforeseen wrote: »

Not neccesarily. It all hinges on each person's income. If equal then no CM to pay otherwise higher earner will pay some CM

It's been a while since I've looked at the calculator, my understanding is that the amount is reduced by 1/7 for each day the child spends with the NRP.


At 50%, the NRP pays 50% of the award and £7 (I believe), this is to cover things like uniforms etc.

unholyangel

CurlySue2017 wrote: »

This, this and this again!!

Women screaming out for equality and then you get posts like this where they expect to be kept in a certain lifestyle by a man that they no longer want to be with.....is this a joke?!

Making it about the kids is just, well, utter rubbish.

The responses would also be very different if this were posted by a man and not a woman, I guarantee it.

You know, I keep seeing posters saying or hinting that the board is biased towards women. But your post shows the opposite is true.

Read the replies - OP was told she can't expect him to fund her lifestyle, that she should work more hours, claim for benefits, move area etc.

Or are you really suggesting that a man would have been told to take her for every penny, that she should fund his lifestyle, that he should work less hours etc?

Comms69

unholyangel wrote: »

You know, I keep seeing posters saying or hinting that the board is biased towards women. But your post shows the opposite is true.

Read the replies - OP was told she can't expect him to fund her lifestyle, that she should work more hours, claim for benefits, move area etc.

Or are you really suggesting that a man would have been told to take her for every penny, that she should fund his lifestyle, that he should work less hours etc?

I think it was more of a: if a man posted saying he didn't want to fund his exes lifestyle, he may get a different response. I don't think that's true at the minute, but sometimes there is a bias.