Taking my ex to court

Cheeky_Monkey

Hello.kitty wrote: »

I don't want to go into too many details. I have done my calculations and the mediator has suggested an amount for him to pay, she agree's that I am in need of some extra money, I am not asking for a life of luxury all I want is to be comfortable with my kids. During mediation today he said that if I couldn't afford to keep them then he would apply for custody as he intends to set up home somewhere he intends to buy. ( I wont be able to afford that I will be looking at over £1k per month rent. All I am asking is does anyone who has been down this road have some info on the total cost of going to court.

In which case you need to be careful or you could end up in Court anyway - and it won't be for spousal maintenance!

PeacefulWaters

Its in both your interests to minimise court time and come to some sort of mutually acceptable arrangement.

FBaby

My part time job is well paid and changing to full time is not possible

You mean never? Can you evidence that indeed your employer would never give you more hours and no other job could pay you more FT?

Or is it that you would rather not have to work FT?

Hello.kitty

Cheeky_Monkey wrote: »

In which case you need to be careful or you could end up in Court anyway - and it won't be for spousal maintenance!

I am sorry but I don't understand what you mean?

I am living in the family home, with the children. His intentions are to pay me 50% of any capital and then use his capital to transfer to another mortgage on a new property. I won't be able to afford to buy so will have to rent. I don't think there will be a great deal of capital, we have only lived there 3 years.
My WTC is £700 a month, then my salary. He pays £70 pw for child maintenance which is what CSA recommend as he has kids 50% of the time.
As it stands he buys their clothes, but they are only allowed to wear them when they are with him, (they are designer usually) he sends them back in the clothes I put them in. This whole thing is not going well, as I don't want to end up spending any capital on court cases as it would be counter productive.
The mediator didn't take sides she was merely saying that on the information she has she felt that what he gives is not really enough for my needs. I provided all details, bank statements etc, he was asked for then but said he didn't bring them only Payslips. I appreciate all the advice it's just I was hoping that someone had some idea of any costs.

Hello.kitty

FBaby wrote: »

You mean never? Can you evidence that indeed your employer would never give you more hours and no other job could pay you more FT?

Or is it that you would rather not have to work FT?

I job share, my job was FT originally, but when I returned after my first child they allowed job share. I am in a specialised job, which would pay more full time, but by the time I paid for child care for the baby FT wouldn't be practical. Naturally, due to my qualifications I don't want to move away from my field. Believe me I have looked. I don't see the point of working longer hours and making childcare payments to swallow it up. I get credits for CC but would have to pay for 3 more days, time I took into account fares to work, I would really be no better off.

iammumtoone

If you have 50/50 care then can you work extra hours on the days/weeks the children are not with you?

If you increased your hours you would only need to pay childcare for the time the children are with you, for the 50% the time they are with your ex then he would pay that share.

How was his CM worked out? did it take take into account the fact that you should be paying him CM for the time he has the children?

I think you need to be very careful here that you don't end up worse off.

It is difficult, I know, i've been there but you need to make it work, cut your expenditure etc you can't expect to live how you did previously.

Do you claim the CTC/CB for both children, often with shared care one parent would claim for one child and the other for the other one, this is probably not worthwhile in your exes case as he wouldn't be entitled to anything but if you push him, he could push for this leaving you with less.

Hello.kitty

iammumtoone wrote: »

If you have 50/50 care then can you work extra hours on the days/weeks the children are not with you?

If you increased your hours you would only need to pay childcare for the time the children are with you, for the 50% the time they are with your ex then he would pay that share.

How was his CM worked out? did it take take into account the fact that you should be paying him CM for the time he has the children?

I think you need to be very careful here that you don't end up worse off.

It is difficult, I know, i've been there but you need to make it work, cut your expenditure etc you can't expect to live how you did previously.

Do you claim the CTC/CB for both children, often with shared care one parent would claim for one child and the other for the other one, this is probably not worthwhile in your exes case as he wouldn't be entitled to anything but if you push him, he could push for this leaving you with less.

I can't work extra hours, the job is split into 5 days, I do 2 and the other person does 3. I did ask if she would be prepared to swap but she says no, of course I don't blame her.

I appreciate that I can't expect to live as before, but I don't expect to be worse off either. My ex's life won't be changing at all, I know it doesn't mean a jot but he is the guilty party in the breakdown. The 50/50 split is every other weekend which includes every other Friday night and two nights in the week. I have the baby during the weekdays and one is at school. They go to him basically overnight on the weekdays so there is no extra child care for him to pay. I pay for my 2 working days only.

iammumtoone

Hello.kitty wrote: »

The 50/50 split is every other weekend which includes every other Friday night and two nights in the week. I have the baby during the weekdays and one is at school. They go to him basically overnight on the weekdays so there is no extra child care for him to pay. I pay for my 2 working days only.

In that case maybe approach it at a different angle. I take it the two nights a week he has the children are your non-work days? If he is paying you less CM as he has 50% care then he should be paying for childcare for the children on his days/nights.

You could try mediation again suggesting you want paying for his 'child care' fees otherwise you expect him to take care of the children in the daytime as well (with the arranging/paying of childcare that comes with that) this would leave you free for two days a week to look for a second job in that time.

HampshireH

Just out of interest why would a rental property cost you £1k a month. What area would you be renting in?

That's an expensive bed house/flat.

You say you shouldn't be worse off but that really does depend on what lifestyle you are accustomed to and you haven't really explained what that is. In saying you know you can't live as before you concede you will be worse off regardless?

. It just sounds like your asking a lot but you haven't really provided the facts for a fair assessment to be made before commenting.

If you work 2 day can you not get a 2nd job on the other 3 around school hours?

thorsoak

As you are separated, I think that you can now claim child benefit, which you might not have been entitled to, due to your combined income whilst you were married. Tax credits could also increase your income.