The long haul supporters thread...

In_Search_Of_Me

well thankgoodness Jan is gone...onwards & upwards to Feb I say! Sounds like a tough month for all. The dys will seeon be getting lighter & the weather warmer or so I hear! Snowed here yesterday!!

Squirrel29

I seemed to be doing really well until last week and then found it really hard to stick to budget. I had forgotten that I had made long terms plans with friends to go out for drinks, they text me and said "still on for tonight", I was cursing all day as it meant dipping into my (small) savings. I managed to spend just £10 but it still knocked my budget to bits.

Have another friend who is constantly nagging me to go out as she is newly single, I keep fending her off but my resolve has cracked a bit and have been out twice with her in the last week too. She doesn't care about money and lives for today, she has had a couple of houses repossesed (one is going through right now) and doesn't appreciate my need for security. It is hard though when you look like a boring c*w for staying in, she always turns down my suggests for a glass of wine at home ... guess it ruins her plans for trying to find a new bloke!:mad:

I've had two weddings to attend in the last month and despite wearing the same outfit twice, it has still cost a fair wack on transport, presents (even the blummin' wrapping for pressies).

Is anyone else finding it hard to stick to the shopping budget? I use old saving board for ideas and until the end of last year was able to stick to my £40 per week budget, now it is always creeping over.. even for basics. I couldn't find a block of cheese for under £1.50 yesterday, that is about 30p more than I usually pay. Petrol increases are starting to bite too.

Guess I on a bit of a downer at the moment as my month as not gone as well moneywise as I had hoped and I am tired of having to explain to friends why I can only afford to go out once a fortnight.

Keeping_Positive

These dont sound like the best of friends they should understand if you've told them. As for your single friend she may be very nice but sounds the worst. How about give and take a night out then a night in?

Sorry you having a tough time. Food prices are definitely on the up and as for petrol :eek: . Its sounds as if you done really well though keeping pretty much to budget with all the high wedding spends so well done :money: .

How about a wall planner? Should get them cheap now. We use one to mark future events as we were useless at remembering them. That way if you book in advance you can check at the start of each month whats coming up an budget accordingly.

In_Search_Of_Me

aww hugs squirrel. The "friend" sounds like one you could do without TBH! How often did you see her befroe she was single?!! If she cant accept that you cant afford to go out & tries to drag you along then I would seriously consider the value of her friendship...a friendship shuld be mutually beneficial - it will have its ups & downs with some carrying at times when the other needs support but ultimately it should be beneficial. Encouraging you to sped when you dont have it is not beneficial to you & selfish of the woman concerned....I would have a chat & if she doesent listen drop her lie a hot potato!
Wendy slightly confused - what was the medical for?
Yes money is tight all round & petrol is a mare! I use quite a bit & its about £5 a tank more now....ugh! I did manage to have an almost no spend grcery week last week though...paying cash helps!

Keeping_Positive

Incapacity benefit - MY OH has a long term shoulder (collar bone) injury from around 15 years ago.
His first medical years ago saw them think he was fit to work and they stopped benefits and I was only working on a low wage with a child. We almost lost our rented house. Even though he fails big time each medical we still fear the worst.

Squirrel29

My 'friend' has a tendancy to drop me when she gets a new fella. I am trying to back out of friendship as a true friend would be happy staying in with a cuppa, not dragging me out as a chaperone. I think she is really needy as her whole aim is to find a bloke who will take care of her, she tends to move them in after a week and then wonder why it all goes wrong! I am happy with single status and don't want a bloke to distract me from my debt free wannabee frame of mind!

Numpty_Monkey

Hi all first time in a while i've posted on this thread and my appologies to all, hope your all doing well,

just want to chuck my twopenath in about friends,
I seem to have have broken it down to a few catogories

1 family - tell them everything
2 close friends - tell them everything
3 friends / people you work with- tell them your skint
4 the rest tell them what you want to tell them

It's amazing what close friends and family will do when you tell them, the truth, the others ??? hope it makes sense

trulymadlydeeply_indebt!

It's a funny thing re friends isn't it? For the past 2 years I've been skint but all "the girls" go out every Friday and I spent a lot of time going out even when I couldn't afford it because of peer pressure from them. Now one of my friends has separated from her husband, sold up her business which was sinking and had to declare herself bankrupt and what a changearound........

She now understands 100% having to make her budgets stick as she cannot obtain any money other from what she has in her purse and is now feeling completely depressed when she cannot afford to go out and has suggested many, many girly nights in with a bottle (or 5!) in recent weeks. When I used to suggest the same thing, the looks I received well, I might has well have just spoken another language!

Probably friends don't truly understand the extent of things until they walk a mile in our shoes. We just have to be there to pick up the pieces (like the true friends we are) when it all goes wrong for them, however, until that time comes, we will just have to sort the wheat from the chaff.

poorandindenial

My OH has found it really difficult to get used to the new me, he is getting there now but is still a bit anti like when I make us get the night bus instead of a cab. We still go out for dinner an average of once every week or two but mine is all budgeted for (and if I haven't got it I don't go).

I have got really strict and am getting quite good at being assertive about what I am doing and why. Most people are actually really impressed that I have made such a big change, thank goodness for good friends.

All my closest friends know that I take out £80 on a Thursday and that has to do me for EVERYTHING that isn't routine payments (rent, debts, insurance etc) or holidays (budgeted seperately) and are cool about downgrading our activities. I think I am lucky to have such great friends.

In_Search_Of_Me

melvis (104)

Welcome Melvis - come on down!!

ahh Wendy that exaplains it.

Re friends hope you sort the sort it out & find a solution you are happy with. On the whole mine have been great I have to say...good luck with that one!