The long haul supporters thread...

NellyM029

I like your advice, thank you so much for it. I was hoping friend would take a leaf out of my book but my circumstances are so different to hers - in a way I have everything she wants. I can't get her to see that if she sorts herself out now she can have the nice place n a decent lifestyle instead of debt & stress etc. She has seen me live on £2 a week to feed my daughter & become very ill in the process. I hope to have a more frank discussion with her soon, face to face, but fear the upset & directness of it may upset her mental health (she seems a lot more unstable than anybody first thought but I don;t know who else has picked up on this).[/QUOTE]


Sometimes you can't help those who don't wan to be helped. But for me, before the lightbulb moment, I would ignore people who said not to spend on credit. I couldn't imagine not being able to conform to society and have everything my friends had. I literally preferred to keep up appeances and have sleepless nights.

Understanding that everyone budgets helps. Understandng that its only when you stop using credit can it ever be paid off helps. And understanding that it can only be better for the future to stop spending does it help.

I once went to see a motivational speaker who said the main cause of failure is going for what you want now instead of what you really want. I never understood until I thought about debt. E.g. I really want to pay off my debt, but now I want a dress buying the dress = failure


Hmmm those awful cards though - they set people up for failure!!!!

Ditto about the sofa too!!!

Soma

wise words nelly :T

NellyM029

And of course you're allowed to get married and talk about it, debt or no debt! It's a human right!!!

climbintheladderouttadebt

Soma - so know what you mean about eloping, but we'd never live it down! My dad and step mum have already decided that the second my son arrives they'll be driving from Manchester down south (near Brighton) coz I'll so be in the mood for that! lol

Nelly - interesting words from the motivational speaker. I'm inclined to agree. Whatever all my wasted money went on, be it drink, clothes and other general crap, was what I wanted then. I did not think about my future. Still, going through all those mistakes has made me more grateful for the things I have now. And the struggle to sort my life out, or rather the results from the struggle, make it all worthwhile.

And as for the sofa, well about 2 years old and OH wants new ones! I'd love better ones too, but these were bought before he was around and will take another 2.5 years to pay off! Have to keep reminding him that we can have what we want when we own our own house. I won;t go shopping with him anymore as he really wanted to change the color theme in the bedroom and add to the living room. Results - about £250-£300 spent on curtains, bedding, ornaments etc. But the rooms look great!! Best bit - his mum made a dig about how much of his money I was spending...!!!! :mad:

Happytogetdebtfree

Having debt does not mean life stands still :-) the biggest battle for me is accepting I overpay debt or I do my house diy. So I do bits of both alternate months :-) I can't stick to 110% debt busting when other stuff at back of my mind :-) so rest assured I won't condem you for talkingbof spending cash I'm just as bad :-p I helped oh today do loads of stock take it was fun but in tired out now. Off to sleep happy wedding and baby talk ) xxxx

NellyM029

climbintheladderouttadebt wrote: »

And as for the sofa, well about 2 years old and OH wants new ones! I'd love better ones too, but these were bought before he was around and will take another 2.5 years to pay off! Have to keep reminding him that we can have what we want when we own our own house. I won;t go shopping with him anymore as he really wanted to change the color theme in the bedroom and add to the living room. Results - about £250-£300 spent on curtains, bedding, ornaments etc. But the rooms look great!! Best bit - his mum made a dig about how much of his money I was spending...!!!! :mad:

But hurrah for a lovely room which you won't need to spend anymore on for years!!!!

Grrrr MIL digs!!

Soma

yup, I always thought that my future self would be rich when I was a student and would be happily settled into a career - therefore my future self could pay off the debt easily. Well I'm my future self now so will have to settle for being poor and in lots fo debt.

climbingladder - lucky my future MIL isn't like that with me, its just my parents that are awful. My future inlaws love me because I made an honest man out of my boyfriend someone said to me today that family know how to push all your buttons cos they installed them!

climbintheladderouttadebt

That is a good point, no more decorating/refurnishing required. A nice positive there! Just need a bigger bed one day. That we can wait for, for a while longer at least.

My MIL drives me mad but I do love her dearly. Even tho she thinks her son's sleep is more important than mine...!!!

Like the idea of alternate months to sort house/debts etc. May be giving that some serious thought.

Sweet dreams peeps am off to bed before this baby kicks my ribs in (he hates me sitting forward for too long! Poor boy's got no space left and is currently digging into ribs and hip bones! lol)

climbintheladderouttadebt

ps:

Soma wrote: »

climbingladder - lucky my future MIL isn't like that with me, its just my parents that are awful. my dad n step mum have their moments but they seem to approve of me more now I have my OH My future inlaws love me because I made an honest man out of my boyfriend someone said to me today that family know how to push all your buttons cos they installed them!

I love that quote! Made me giggle!

millionaire_in_training

How do you all keep positive when you have a low moment? [/QUOTE]

Chocolate :rotfl: