An update on me

Ames

Have you had any more input from social services? I think you're really risking putting yourself in danger and making yourself a target. The fact that you can't see that and think you're defusing situations rather than inflaming them is worrying.

dekaspace

I think it may come across as different here than how it acted out, these 2 kids were not menacing or scary.

I don't necessarily think I am making it better but im making it no worse, as they would of pestered me either way, by near ignoring them they backed down (they really did at end, walking off in a huff)

sarahsays

I'm glad you have this forum to post in dekaspace - perhaps it will make you feel less isolated. I agree you shouldn't respond at all to these young people - it only encourages them to get worse - they'll leave you alone after a while if you don't react. If you don't react yourself, then it will show how bad their behaviour is and, if police are called, other people can let them know that you weren't to blame.

Also, if you don't react, others may well stick up for you, like that man at the bus stop, and the youths seem to listen more when someone else gets involved, instead of you - most people will hate seeing you being bullied. I know you shouldn't have to put up with this when you walk out the door but ignoring it really is the best thing to do.

Also, I agree with another poster that going to the library is a good way to get out of the house and socialize and many have hot chocolate machines etc now. Also, library staff are often encouraging and friendly, you can sit for a while just reading or there are often details of groups that you can join.

I hope social services can do something to help you also. Do you think maybe that you should tell your parents what's happening and discuss with them if you'd like them to visit a little more often?
I hope this situation resolves itself for you and wish you all the best in the future.

AndyPix

dekaspace wrote: »

I gained weight due to stress

Just to add here - you didnt gain weight due to stress , you gained weight in the same way as every other human - by consuming more calories than you used up.


Calorie defecit = weight loss
Calorie surplus = weigh gain


Maybe a good idea would be to join a gym ?
It would get you out of the house, you could meet new people, and maybe feel a little better about yourself


(not judging you by the way - just offering practical advice)

dekaspace

AndyPix wrote: »

Just to add here - you didnt gain weight due to stress , you gained weight in the same way as every other human - by consuming more calories than you used up.


Calorie defecit = weight loss
Calorie surplus = weigh gain


Maybe a good idea would be to join a gym ?
It would get you out of the house, you could meet new people, and maybe feel a little better about yourself


(not judging you by the way - just offering practical advice)

I ate more due to the stress so thats how I see it, the most weight gain was at university and the peak of that was when I got 30-60 minutes a day sleep and my kitchen was a no go area if I wanted to cook so ate take away and because I was drained of energy ate more than I should to get energy.

In recent years I often eat less and these days only overerat when im drained which is most common in winter when its dark in summer I lose weight.

Did join a gym before but never went and its increased in price by £5 a month now so seems a waste of time its more that if I am having a busy day I don't want to detour to the gym get sweaty then walk home or wait on a bus to turn up when im sore and stiff I do miss the gym.

AndyPix

dekaspace wrote: »

if I am having a busy day I don't want to detour to the gym get sweaty then walk home or wait on a bus to turn up when im sore and stiff I do miss the gym.

But you dont go out !!
You say you have to make yourself go to town to look round the shops aimlessly just to get out of the house .. So why not change that into going to the gym.


So many benefits - not least of which are psychological


Like i say anyway - just a suggestion - i wish you all the best

seven-day-weekend

If people start to bully you, stand up and walk tall (shoulders back, head up). Don't say anything. Your body language should indicate that you are not going to be a victim.

Sncjw

Could you go to the library near you to study so you don!!!8217;t feel isolated

Sncjw

You can shower at the gym also so your not sweaty on the bus

JWM

dekaspace wrote: »

Another update saw the same kids today but at busy bus stop, ignored one at first and when they started insulted I calmly said "whatever, police are after you for breaking that window" cue them with the swearing insults.

Then one decided tot ry and intimidate me by sitting both sides of me at the chairs then whispering "im going to (swear) do you in you fat (swear)" I calmly just laughed and said "whatever I had bigger (easy to guess) what than you" and got "aye rite" and he walked off but then as he knew he couldnt get anywhere they resorted to calling me the p word for people who like children in a certain way and telling passers by, there was one man at the bus stop who told them to stop being little (swear)

Quite proud really I didn't lose it and they were the ones that got annoyed.

Also how stupid one of them was, he went into the same place he assaulted me before, but in school uniform and with a cut on his head (shop has 5 CCTV cameras) so easily identifyable.

Honestly dekaspace if I didn't know you were genuine I would think this was a wind-up.

So you think you defused the situation calmly by telling a teenage boy he had a small c***k??

Worst possible thing to do.

Do not engage - and very obviously - do not taunt.

Please take on board the advice you have been given - its very clear to everyone that you are making this much much worse.