Prosperous soul in the making

savingholmes

EssexHebridean wrote: »

I can't take anything with codeine in it SH - it gives me the most awful hallucinations so I feel as though the walls are closing in -not ideal for someone who is severely claustrophobic!

I'm also not convinced that the thing of your DH doing stuff if asked but not thinking to offer is anything to do with ASD - if mine is anything to go by it's just to do with being a husband! :rotfl: Mine will also generally assume that I'll take responsibility for my own health but in the case of anything serious (ie life threatening) he definitely does step up to the plate (he's proved it!) - and I'm sure yours would too in that situation.xx

Thanks EH. I tend to react badly to codeine too. I didn't take extra pain meds yesterday but still ended up with griping tummy pain half the night....On DH I think because I 'soldier on' unless there was blood dripping from somewhere I'm not sure he'd notice. I'm sure he would step up in a true emergency though

Msmoneyspider wrote: »

It is sweet that your DD and DH buy you flowers and you have date nights ,:happyhear. I believe the symbolic meaning of tulips is 'deep love'.

Nice symbolism. On date nights - we are trying to make sure that our marriage lasts and is enjoyable all our life - so focusing on rebuilding / improving the love and connection that can otherwise be eroded by kids and life if you are not careful.

katsu wrote: »

Ask the physio about walking in water. It works very well to help move fluid through your lymphatic system as ther water helps push it up and out of your limb. Very good for reducing some fluid swelling.

An aqua exercise class might be too much right note but just walking in a swimming pool can be fab

Hi Katsu - I intend to join a council gym with a pool so I can do that kind of thing. Just not gone yet. DH and I hope to go and sign up this weekend for a health programme thing so we get it at reduced price. They can take up to 2 weeks to give you an appointment though. You have to meet them before you can start.

Not done anything more about pensions - and my new chairs look like they are not due to come until after Easter - so plenty of time to save up the balance. I therefore decided to pay another £200 to a CC - on top of the £75 that went out to one yesterday. DH bless him was feeling sorry for DS with no money at uni - and sent him some money out of his monthly 'personal spends'. Now there's a way to a mother's heart. DS says he may come home to visit tomorrow or next weekend. I miss him.

doingitanyway

The council gym with a pool sounds good. Great that you and DH are joining together too!

DancingInTheRain

Hi Saving
Just catching up on the last couple of weeks, you've really been through it haven't you? Pleased it looks like the physio has given you some answers though, hopefully the start of your recovery.
I think buying the chairs is a really good move, you need to look after yourself in the present as well as your future self, well done on paying for them in cash too!
I truly hope you manage to get on an even keel, you are so wonderfully supportive to us all here on the diaries, as well as to your lovely family, please don't rush back to work especially if your boss is being so supportive - I know it's not easy but please try to prioritise putting yourself first x

Blackcats

Agree completely with Dancingintherain's post!

savingholmes

doingitanyway wrote: »

The council gym with a pool sounds good. Great that you and DH are joining together too!

Still need to do this... maybe tonight. DD wants me to book her some personal trainer sessions too.

DancingInTheRain wrote: »

Hi Saving
Just catching up on the last couple of weeks, you've really been through it haven't you? Pleased it looks like the physio has given you some answers though, hopefully the start of your recovery.... I truly hope you manage to get on an even keel, you are so wonderfully supportive to us all here on the diaries, as well as to your lovely family, please don't rush back to work... try to prioritise putting yourself first x

Thanks Dancing. It's been a really tough 12-18 months. It's hard to get the right balance. I've felt more upbeat since last Thursday when I did the group craft session and I have been doing some painting again at home. I've been spending (too much) money on stuff to try acrylic pouring which I've wanted to try for ages! Hopefully by the end of today I will have all I need to have a first go at it. I'm hoping that the techniques won't be as reliant on sharp eyesight...

My brain feels a bit more with it this week so we'll see. At physio again tomorrow which I am kind of dreading due to the pain - but I do think that it got rid of some of the fluid last time - so should be worth it. I find that just walking around one or two shops is enough to trigger pain in my leg - so now understand why being at work was so debilitating in terms of sapping pain - particularly as I wasn't on painkillers then.

I think I had also become so focused on what I need to become financially independent that I was missing out on creating joy along the way. A goal is good but for it to be all consuming is not. I was so focused on what I could do when I was 'free' that I was dissatisfied with the 5+ years it would take to get there and in danger of wishing them away - which given that I turn 50 this year is not a good plan!

Blackcats wrote: »

Agree completely with Dancingintherain's post!

Thanks Blackcats.

I still need to do the tax forms and keep trying to push past the resistance and do them and not quite achieving it.

I also want to try and sort out an eye test for me and DD

Tahlullah.H

savingholmes wrote: »

I think I had also become so focused on what I need to become financially independent that I was missing out on creating joy along the way. A goal is good but for it to be all consuming is not. I was so focused on what I could do when I was 'free' that I was dissatisfied with the 5+ years it would take to get there and in danger of wishing them away - which given that I turn 50 this year is not a good plan!

This!!

I am so pleased that you are recognizing this as well. I think we all sometimes cannot see the woods from the trees. We forget to live and laugh and create joy. I hope that you are able to start living your life rather than wishing it away trying to get to an end point which in itself is worthy, but not if you feel bad about the rest of your life journey on the way.

girlatplay

I feel like I've almost missed out on Little Miss growing up because I've always been focussed on one goal or another. Makes me feel sad to think of all the things I don't remember about her being little. I'm currently trying to be more "present". I'm bad for daydreaming (always have been - report cards at primary school said "[GAP] is a lovely girl but she's a dreamer." )

Here is the reading list from the MH training I had last week (separated into authors and in order of author surname):

Have a little faith - M.A.
Tuesdays with Maurie - M.A.

The Universe has your back - G.B.

The power of vulnerability - B.B.

Don't sweat the small stuff...and it's all small stuff - R.C.

The success principles - J.C.

Managing at the speed of change: How resilient managers success and prosper where others fail - D.R.C.

The seven habits of highly successful people - S.R.C.

Breaking the habit of being yourself - Dr. J.D.
The placebo effect - Dr. J.D.

Conscious medicine - G.E.

Means search for meaning - V.F.

The secret of the shadow - D.F.

The inner game of work - T.G.

I heart me - The science of self love - Dr. D.H.
How your mind can heal your body - Dr. D.H.
It's the thought that counts - Dr. D.H.

Be your own life coach - F.H.

The big leap - G.H.

Who moved my cheese - S.J.

The honeymoon effect - B.H.L.
The biology of belief - B.H.L.

The chimp paradox - Dr. S.P.

Rewire your anxious brain - How to use the neuroscience of fear to end anxiety, panic and worry - C.P.

The magic of thinking big - D.J.S.

Learned optimism - M.E.P.S.
Authentic happiness - M.E.P.S.

The power of now - E.T.

A mindfulness guide for the frazzled - R.W.

savingholmes

girlatplay wrote: »

I feel like I've almost missed out on Little Miss growing up because I've always been focussed on one goal or another. Makes me feel sad to think of all the things I don't remember about her being little. I'm currently trying to be more "present". I'm bad for daydreaming (always have been - report cards at primary school said "[GAP] is a lovely girl but she's a dreamer." )

Here is the reading list from the MH training I had last week (separated into authors and in order of author surname):

• Have a little faith - M.A.
• Tuesdays with Maurie - M.A.
• The Universe has your back - G.B.
• The power of vulnerability - B.B. - This is one of the best books I've ever read
• Don't sweat the small stuff...and it's all small stuff - R.C.
• The success principles - J.C.
• Managing at the speed of change: How resilient managers success and prosper where others fail - D.R.C.
• The seven habits of highly successful people - S.R.C. - I got bored when I read this
• Breaking the habit of being yourself - Dr. J.D.
• The placebo effect - Dr. J.D.
• Conscious medicine - G.E.
• Man's search for meaning - V.F.
• The secret of the shadow - D.F.
• The inner game of work - T.G.
• I heart me - The science of self love - Dr. D.H.
• How your mind can heal your body - Dr. D.H.
• It's the thought that counts - Dr. D.H.
• Be your own life coach - F.H. This is a good book - I did a life coaching qualification after reading this
• The big leap - G.H. - excellent book - may see if I have it or whether I borrowed it and re-read it
  
• Who moved my cheese - S.J. - again I found this one okay - but a bit boring - very recommended by business types. The idea is that instead of keeping looking for cheese in the same place and being dissatisfied as it dwindles - you need to change - and look for it in other places - there you don't need to read the book now.
• The honeymoon effect - B.H.L.
• The biology of belief - B.H.L.
• The chimp paradox - Dr. S.P. - I think I gave this DS - will see if he still has it
• Rewire your anxious brain - How to use the neuroscience of fear to end anxiety, panic and worry - C.P.
• The magic of thinking big - D.J.S.
• Learned optimism - M.E.P.S.
• Authentic happiness - M.E.P.S.
• The power of now - E.T. _ I may have read this but if I did it was forgettable
• A mindfulness guide for the frazzled - R.W.

I will look into some of these - thanks GAP. I can relate to not remembering some of the kids younger times.

Other good books include Paolo Coelho The Alchemist and WM Young's The Shack. Life changing books. I also have/had a P.McK collection at one point. I think book help with incremental change - but the task is lifelong.

Thanks Tahullah.

Another £84 of debt down. Need to recommit to the plan in Feb as completely overspent in Jan pay day period. Thankfully though our EF is still intact so it could be a lot worse.

Msmoneyspider

My sisters and I traditionally go to Waterstones, every xmas and choose our self help book for the following year ….. This year we chose 'Becoming' by Michelle Obama, which has a journal attached to it. I have not started it, but thoroughly enjoyed Barack's autobiography, 'Dreams from my father'. I think the best book on that list is Victor Frankel's classic, ''Mankind's Search for Meaning', written when he was in a Nazi concentration camp, figuring out a way to survive mentally.... very interesting, thought provoking posts, thank you GAP/SH,

savingholmes

I have the Becoming book to listen to - but am stuck probably a quarter way through. I'm not sure if I've read Victor Frankel or not but if I did it was as a teenager - when i did read the Diary of Anne Frank. Corrie Ten Boom's book The Hiding Place about when her family hid Jews in Holland and her time in a concentration camp as a result was also very moving.

The Luck Factor is a more upbeat book - I like that one. I don't think I have it - I think I borrowed it from the library.
52 Life Makeovers by LBF
Compassionate coaching by AE
Free Range Humans by MC
Year of Yes by SR
Big Magic EG

I have to confess though that it is listening / reading kids fiction that often cheers me up. Last night I read book 2 of the Wundersmith - a great kids fantasy story. I adore HP and re-read often. Also stories by Garth Nix, Sophie McKenzie and Anthony Horrowitz.

Just finishing breakfast - then I can take my tablet, have a shower and get ready super-quick to be at the physio for 10.30. I was dreaming about work last night and trying to catch up. In my dream I was about to have a holiday in the Lakes and rain was pouring down so I was disappointed. DD skipped school yesterday but has gone in today.