Prosperous soul in the making

savingholmes

Hi MsMoneyspider

HP chose a memory of his long lost parents talking to him - the idea of the charm - was that if you pick a powerful enough memory to conjure the charm the dementors feed on that rather than on you! Interestingly whenever you did battle with one - you needed chocolate afterwards to recover. I like JK as she is familiar with depression herself - and funds lots of MH charities.

Well thankfully my cleaner arrived in time to make the place look more respectable before my boss arrived. My boss likes the colour I've picked for my chairs. She is open to more home working, perhaps phased return / reduced hours (while being paid full pay) as a better alternative to me being off sick. Will see how I am feeling after physio tomorrow and next week whether I feel up to that. I also owed a bit of time - she says she would be happy to wipe that out. It was a positive visit - but I felt tired after.

Our new canvas arrived - it's very big and looks really bright and cheerful. I think it will help tie the colours in the room together. Will discuss with DH later exactly where to hang it - and what to do with what we're taking down. My curtains have been delayed - should have arrived yesterday - may come today.

In a weird mood now - but grateful I'm off and that I have a supportive boss. She knows what we've been dealing with this year which helps. I was worried I would be referred to OHU which I'd see as kind of pointless as they would only write down what I've already told her - or less probably as I have the right to limit what they write down.

EssexHebridean

A supportive boss is definitely a good thing SH - I spent too many years working for a company who really didn't give a flying doo-dah about the staff and only pretended that they did to maintain a front. Biggest laugh ever was when they got the "investors in People" accreditation and none of us could find ANYONE who was actually brave (or foolish!) enough to have been honest in their interviews with the inspectors/accreditors because we were all convinced that if we were it would come back to bite us! when I was signed off with depression in 2007 I had to ask that the Dr wrote migraines on the certificate as I knew full well that had I even hinted at MH stuff I'd have been pushed out inside a few months.

MovingForwards

I'm pleased your meeting went well. Before you make any decisions about phased return, home working etc, remember, your Dr signed you off for a reason!

OH are a strange bunch, I've never felt like they were wanting to do the right thing to help me, more like getting me to stay in work, with no changes and hide my health; I've refused to have anything to do with OH in this company due to how jaded I am.

EssexHebridean, isn't that how most companies are, all outwardly show how great they are and lack of awareness, compassion and don't care about employees as there will always be others waiting to join if one leaves?

savingholmes

I genuinely work for a good organisation - but then that is part of why I chose it - because it had a people focus. I also get on exceptionally well with my boss which also helps - and I generally do a good job - so am valued.

Physio today wondered at one point whether I'd broken a bone last August (I never did go to Minor Injuries). Apparently some people can walk on a broken leg - who knew? She did an ultrasound on my leg - she isn't officially allowed to diagnose - but it wasn't broken but I do have a muscle tear at the front of my leg just below the knee. I also have major fluid build up - the doctor was apparently wrong to say it was just a pillow my brain grew to protect my leg! She says the fluid is causing micro tears in the muscle preventing it from healing. I do tend to have swollen ankles anyway - but she said it was worse on my right side - so she thinks if she can get rid of the fluid with physio and the exercises she's given me - it should all calm down. She also said I'm safe to walk around which was a relief - I was scared of doing more damage.

All in all it was very reassuring. Hopefully no surgery needed just physio and some stretching / resistance type exercises with my foot to strengthen the front muscle in my leg. While I'm off sick anyway it made sense to schedule 2 lots of physio next week and then another the week after. Boss has promised to pay for more if needed. I texted my boss and she called me straight back for more details - like me she was relieved.

Yesterday at one point the medicine wore off - I felt like my leg was on fire - it never did really settle back even after I took further doses. I need to therefore consciously make sure I take them the right distance apart. I think I thought I had taken one but must have missed it yesterday lunchtime.

After the physio I went to a cafe and had an early lunch and coffee while I got over the pain of the session. I also bought some cake to have at home. This afternoon I am off to my craft session for 1pm start. Hoping that does me some good. A friend texted yesterday which was also nice. Perhaps early next week I could meet up with her while her kids are at school. I bought myself some bright red tulips yesterday which are now brightening up my lounge.

I listened to a podcast about life after reaching financial independence - in it they were saying when all your basic needs are met that's when you can focus on self-actualisation (Maslow's hierarchy of needs). They said too many people draw it as a pyramid suggesting that last phase is easy - but they were saying it requires as much work as all the earlier stages. That kind of made sense to me....

Hope you all have a positive day.

EssexHebridean

Small things like your Tulips can be wonderfully cheering can't they - and cake is always god, well in my world it is anyway! Setting up a meeting with your friend also sounds like a great idea! (And could involve more cake, no?!)

MovingForwards I think it does very much vary company to company - and as SH suggests having a supportive line manager can make a massive difference to the way an individual employee is treated, too. I'd guess that generally speaking smaller companies are often more engaged with employee wellbeing because they have no choice BUT to be - as each individual within a tiny organisation makes a lot more impact if they are off than in a larger company where there may be others to cover the work.

savingholmes

Thanks EH. Yes tulips are my favourite flower.

The craft session was good - 6 of us including the instructor - £15 each. I made 14 small pieces of jesmonite jewellery / keyrings. It was good to get out in a low stress setting and try something new. Just a starter kit on Am... would have been £45 so I think it was value for money. I've no interest in repeating that particular activity though. I've booked in to go again one evening in a couple of weeks time. There I will be doing my favourite - glass painting - but they have some nice wavy glass and some stencils / cut outs to help you get the effect you want. While I do have some peelable glass paints (which I use to help me trace over / copy stuff) - it hadn't occurred to me to use stencils for the 'adult' glass paints. They also were telling me all different places I could perhaps try selling craft stuff and possible low cost insurance options. That made me feel more positive about my post FI plans too.

My pain levels rocketed today after the physio - and tonight I sent DH out to get me some co-codomol. It made me floaty/sicky for a little while. I think I am going to take an extra naproxen tablet too just before I go to bed - as I can still feel pain in both my legs (knee on left side and the whole front and side of my right leg below my knee). It will be worth it if she solves the fluid build up but wow the pain struck around teatime and I've struggled to lift it since. I do feel like there is hope in sight though that the physio will resolve it - and I feel a right muppet for not seeking better medical attention when it happened (last August) and when the pain spike began (6/1/20) but I 'soldiered on' thinking it would just sort itself out. I think in pain terms I go 1-3 (and stay there a while) and then suddenly I'm at a 8-10 and I miss out the bit in the middle. Apparently that can be linked to ASD so I need to mention it at my assessment - but it's made me realise today that if that's a pattern that could be dangerous for me. The fact that when I mentioned it to DH and said that next time he would need to insist on taking me to Minor Injuries - and he said, 'Oh, I'd assumed you'd just take yourself...' kind of summed up the problem and how I got here... Do I need to add I think he has ASD too? He will (mostly) do stuff to help if I directly ask but rarely thinks to offer..

I think I may see tomorrow if I can get an advance appointment with my favourite GP next Thursday - before I make a decision on returning to work. The level of pain I've felt the last two days has been scary... apart from anything else - I may also need more painkillers.

While I'm off I also want to try and get an eye sight test done. I have a voucher for a free one and then I think price reductions on the glasses - I also reckon I can claim about £100 back overall from 2 different sources - so I am thinking I might go for better quality varifocals this time in the hope that I can do more craft activities again without it being an issue.

Tomorrow DH is off. He's taking DD to the dentist (I'm too phobic to do that). Then DH and I are going to sign up for the reduced price gym or at least do the forms. Then we are using a voucher to eat out before going to the cinema so I have something to look forward to tomorrow. Spoke to DS for quite a while today. He is coming home a week on Sunday overnight as he will be at the dentist. I need to see if I can work from home part of the Monday...

lucielle

Hope you get your pain levels sorted and manage a decent nights sleep.
L

Tahlullah.H

Hi SH. Just caught up on your diary. Sorry you have been having a rough time health wise, but with the right help, you will recover. I would definitely advocate taking your time to get better. 2 weeks off can be wonderful, but if more time is needed, then you should pursue it. Self care is far more important that others suggestions, so if you feel you need time, ensure you get it. In relation to work, I accept that you enjoy it, but the work will always be there.

Hope the painkillers don't zone you out too much. I never enjoy that feeling!!

MovingForwards

Make sure you take co-codamol and naproxen on a very full stomach, it limits the side effects, as does splitting the dose. Soluble meds are easier to stomach and get into your system better. Again, with that you can take a few sips after eating, and keep taking sips over 20-30 minutes.

My GP has added a low dose amitriptyline into the mix, good for nerve damage and sleeping, allegedly.

If you do book the GP appointment, say you have been taking over the counter co-codamol and whether it has helped at all, no point self-medicating if there is something more useful on prescription.

DH may have ASD, or he may just genuinely think you know your own limits and seek help.

I'm glad to hear about your artistic interests, makes such a contrast to normal life and allows escapism and solitude.

Msmoneyspider

I have just finished a painting of tulips, very bright and abstract, but it makes me smile! I am glad that you enjoyed your craft session.

I also thought your comment on self actualisation/individuation was very interesting. I personally think that is the one that very few people achieve as there are so few role models that we can aspire to, but more people than any time in history are giving it a go and trying to figure out and live their own, authentic life path!