Prosperous soul in the making

Drawingaline

I so understand the stress from work vs home stress. In 2016/7 my husbamd was unemployed, my older son was struggling in year7 (we nearly changed schools) my younger son was so bad in Yr R he was being excluded and ended up in a special unit for two terms, and I was working two jobs. I honestly went grey that year. It was hell.

We are sort of out the other side, but I am not sure I have fully recovered. Making time for you to relax important, if visiting family helps tat then ins a way to prioritise it.

Tahlullah.H

Do take time to rest SH. If you are not there, what will the rest of your family do without you? And you can be absent in more than one way. Rest, relax and recuperate if you can.

savingholmes

Well yesterday's meeting went fine. I worked a 9.5 hour day to make up for finishing 2 hours early the day before... One CC went out for £75 - so need to reduce signature. DS did a referral link where me and DH could both get a £10 - and that came through yesterday so that was good. DH Picked up DD and dropped her off at school so I could catch up. Today I am taking her and DH will pick her up but she has an open evening so we can work normal hours. I need to go and finish getting ready or I will be the one making her late for school.

I claimed £50 in expenses - I hadn't missed the deadline. Between work and DD our fuel bill has been higher than normal - at least now I understand why.

Have a good day all and thanks again to all those who post - it makes a difference.

EssexHebridean

Morning SH - good work on getting that expenses claim in ahead of the deadline!

On the "take time for yourself" thing - you could try the "15 minute" thing in relation to this one the same as you might for a household task or work job? So set a timer for 15 minutes and just sit down with a book, or pop headphones on and listen to a podcast, but just let yourself do nothing else for that 15 minute timespan.

savingholmes

Thanks all. This week has been a slightly calmer week - perhaps because DS went back to uni and things with DD seem to be settling down. All being well - I am hoping to work from home today - which gives me a chance to recharge my batteries a little. Paid £88 off another CC - normal payment. Just have one CC payment left to go out before payday.

I am hoping that I get a CB payment soon - if I do that would make the difference between getting to payday without using a small free o/d or not. However, I need to remind myself that this month we have:

1. Been away for 3 nights across 2 weekends
2. Paid DS accommodation of £934 and still given him £100 on top
3. Paid £865 off CCs so far with another £174 to come
4. Bought a car, paid tax and insurance £1322 - using EF
5. Due to pay another £250-300 on insurance for my car - using savings
6. Spent extra on fuel due to DD, taking DS back to uni, trips out and work
7. Bought more text books for DD
8. Paid ourselves quarterly clothes allowance

At least I feel we have lived this month and not just survived.

Next month not paying DS more than £15 (may even cancel that) and plan to top up EF and savings in the run up to Christmas. My car may need new brakes. It's due an MOT at the end of the month - but I have a pre-paid scheme for the first mot and for servicing and get 10% discount off parts. Need to check what mileage I need to service it at. DH thinks he will use the new car more over the winter all being well - otherwise he needs new tyres on his motorbike (disappointing as he only replaced them around January).

Considering getting a packaged bank account again for breakdown cover and travel insurance... as now we have two cars again and my 3 year breakdown cover runs out end of October. It would also cover phones.

Need to work out when we got the boiler done and arrange a service - I think it was November sometime - probably towards the end of the month.

My pension details never came - so need to chase that. I also need to finalise my car insurance and cancel a life insurance policy.

EssexHebridean

I'm sure you already know about the Nationwide account that offers the benefits - assuming you don't have friend/family member who would refer you then feel free to give me a shout for the referral benefits for both of us! That one only works if you're doing a full switch though, I believe. :-)

That should be a heck of a satisfying feeling seeing how well you did last month - seriously impressive!

StripeyTightsSpottySocks

Hi savings - sorry i couldn't post on here the other day when i popped in- life interrupted! & now i can't remember all of what i was going to say Lots of good ideas on here about having some quality time for you - i feel like you must when you post on my thread and say the advice you're giving is for yourself as well - why is it i find it hard to make time to do something or nothing just for me? If you find out the secret please let me know & i'll do the same

Loving your phrase about saying you feel you've 'lived this month rather than survived.' I have been thinking just this last week or so how i don't want all my working week (which can be spread over 5 differing days at the most) being about waiting for the weekend so i can 'live'. By the time the weekend comes i'm usually drained from work and i'm sure some positive midweek adventures would help with all round cheery-ness

To this end i had a very cheap night out last night - as well as a very late one :eek: but i am sure it must have been good for me. i've also suggested to my Mr another cheeky night out next Wednesday - it will depend on funds as this would definitely be more treat-y but we are often free of a Wednesday evening but - embarrassingly! - can find ourselves sat together on the sofa but not actually having any quality time as one of us may read and the other watch tv / surf internet etc. So we will see what that brings. Whilst it's not me time it is quality 'us time' - if we can commit to it that is

becky170

Hey, just been catching up with your diary. Sounds like you've had a tough time of it recently. Fingers crossed it settles down soon and your DD gets the help she needs.

Hope you manage to have a relaxing weekend!

savingholmes

Hi Stripey, EH and Becky

This week has been much better than last. Slightly calmer at work plus working from home yesterday really helped. DD is settling into school better and hopes to go back on her bike next week as her arm is settling down. DS is back at uni. DD has a friend over tonight and they are going the cinema. DH is taking her today to sixth form and I'm picking her up later.

Tomorrow we are going to a family event but only plan to go for a couple of hour and then escape which sounds more doable than going for longer. Still need to sort out cards and pressies for a couple of my nephews whose birthdays we missed - preferably using stuff in our house already.

I also need to update our money. I checked into our life insurance with critical illness cover - it runs to 2026 where I thought it stopped in 2023. Its original value was £74K and its now at £41K. I think we were missold that and one of our other policies as the IFA (via a group that still exists) sold us decreasing term cover and an increasing term cover in the same meeting - when level term was likely to offer us the best value. We haven't been getting any statements from them for years - they said they didn't have our updated address. We shouldn't have been sold decreasing term as we had an interest only mortgage not capital repayment... The agent for the main insurance company that acquired our policy said we may be able to extend the period and raise the value.... it was unclear whether this would be a new policy or not. My concern is around conditions and weight we now have that we didn't then. Need to discuss it with OH and see how we want to move it forward.

I also need to look at getting a tax refund on payouts we've had from the bank. EH - sorry we already bank with N (for one of several accounts) - so it would be just an upgrade on an existing account. I agree as does MSE that they offer the best value...

Off to finish getting ready for work.

savingholmes

Just had another life insurance thing through - it seems to have sickness cover on it - too late for a ppi claim - but will need to check into what that actually gives us. The good news is that it has £167K of cover which is enough for the mortgage - I thought it was £130K.