Prosperous soul in the making

clearmydebts

Really clear and achievable goals. Love them and not too long to go!

We have about another 10yrs before we need to worry about uni. The ultimate aim would be to be mortgage free too but I think I'll concentrate on the debts first! We are within commutable distance to most of the main universities here so accomodation shouldn't be an issue. That said, I went away for uni and it was such a good experience.

savingholmes

ohshithowdidthathappen wrote: »

Those are such clear targets, so you could be sub £7K this time next year which is amazing. That extra £400pm that you'll have next year will make a massive difference
Uni costs worry me, my eldest is in Year 11 so not too far away, I've already discussed with her that we won't be able to help much as we'll still have big childcare costs for the younger two. She'll only be entitled to the lowest amount of loan due to our income, so there'll be a potential shortfall

Thanks - yes should be close to £6K by this time next year (with the minimumm payments reducing the balance as I go along). Uni costs are a worry - I got DS to save towards his first year. He paid most of his first term - with us giving him stuff to take with him and about £100 a month instead of the £400. After Christmas he started to 'need' more. That year he earned £5.5 from Tesco so shouldn't have needed our money really. He has realised since that he dropped the ball by not working at uni and only working in the holidays. He also went to OZ already in £1K student overdraft which kind of set himself up to fail.

We had to fund him in full in Oz and then some as he couldn't live without it - although the second half of the year he earned £600pcm to make up for having completely spent up by half way through the year! This year - we have been strongly hinting that he should get a job and a) repay his own debts including to us and b) that our aim is to taper off our support. Probably need to be more direct particularly if he does end up back in Oz it will be really irritating if we end up subbing him when because of the £ he 'requires' - we could afford only uk holidays... I wish in some ways we'd just said we'll pay half the student loan shortfall - you make up the rest... Hindsight is 20:20.

We didn't really plan or think through DS going to uni - we ended up giving back DH's car and cancelling other things to help fund DS. Last year it was a huge pressure an contributed to negative MH for us. If he'd got a job in term 1 in Oz instead of waiting until 7/13 of the time he was there it would have given him a better quality of life and reduced our financial pressure.

You're both in a similar situation to us - all you can do is try to clear as much debt asap to leave some room in the budget for their needs and tell them a) to start saving and b) look for scholarships. DS got 2 x £1K which helped.

savingholmes

clearmydebts wrote: »

Really clear and achievable goals. Love them and not too long to go!

We have about another 10yrs before we need to worry about uni. The ultimate aim would be to be mortgage free too but I think I'll concentrate on the debts first! We are within commutable distance to most of the main universities here so accomodation shouldn't be an issue. That said, I went away for uni and it was such a good experience.

I look back on uni as one of the happiest times of my life. I think it is a completely different experience if you live off campus in the first year - so think it is definitely worth planning ahead and trying to set some money aside. Wish we had done that sooner.

savingholmes

Had a long chat with DS last night after writing the above posts. Pointed out that he is allowing himself much more spending money as a ratio of his income than we are and asked why should we scrimp and save to allow him a better lifestyle than us. He saw my point. He is hoping he can get regular work when he goes back to uni and has been given a number of contacts. He's thinking of working 20 hours a week which would allow him to clear debt and save up for Oz and be less reliant on us. He could get about £9 per hour. He has said we can potentially hold the payment we would have given him in Dec and wipe that off his debt and that he would then make make another couple of payments on his return from Oz. We could then review where his £ is up to and what he needs.

I felt much better after that - as otherwise we would have been paying his accommodation and 'maintenance' £ in the same month and we've now underlined expecting loan to be repaid and payments to taper off next year.

Meetings at school went well and DD will get extra support. She's gone off okay on her bike today too. She is definitely dropping the fourth subject. Both me and DH slept badly last night - I think there's too much going on. Roll on our time away at the weekend. Lovely to have that to look forward to. I need to finish getting ready and go to work. We have plans for the next 4 weekends in a row - some good some trickier. Will need to check when my hair appointment is as I may need it to be midweek instead of a Saturday

hugglemonster

Glad your ds understands your position and is looking to help himself, and dd is getting the help she needs.

Great that you're having some time away, I think that's something my dh and I are missing but needs must!

H x

WelshKitty85

Well done on having the conversation with your DS. He sounds very mature and understanding of the situation.

[Deleted User]

Well done on having that chat, and pleased for you that it went well xx

clearmydebts

savingholmes wrote: »

Had a long chat with DS last night after writing the above posts. Pointed out that he is allowing himself much more spending money as a ratio of his income than we are and asked why should we scrimp and save to allow him a better lifestyle than us. He saw my point. He is hoping he can get regular work when he goes back to uni and has been given a number of contacts. He's thinking of working 20 hours a week which would allow him to clear debt and save up for Oz and be less reliant on us. He could get about £9 per hour. He has said we can potentially hold the payment we would have given him in Dec and wipe that off his debt and that he would then make make another couple of payments on his return from Oz. We could then review where his £ is up to and what he needs.

I felt much better after that - as otherwise we would have been paying his accommodation and 'maintenance' £ in the same month and we've now underlined expecting loan to be repaid and payments to taper off next year.

Meetings at school went well and DD will get extra support. She's gone off okay on her bike today too. She is definitely dropping the fourth subject. Both me and DH slept badly last night - I think there's too much going on. Roll on our time away at the weekend. Lovely to have that to look forward to. I need to finish getting ready and go to work. We have plans for the next 4 weekends in a row - some good some trickier. Will need to check when my hair appointment is as I may need it to be midweek instead of a Saturday

Sounds like a really good chat and you are exactly right. Why should you and your DH be scrimping when your son is spending beyond his means. Lol I remember my parents sitting me down and having a chat with me when I was in uni (they were paying for 2 of us at the same time). I was horrified when they suggested a job. However, I got one and it was well paid. It instilled in me a great sense of responsibility and work ethic. Tough love is needed sometimes!

EssexHebridean

Very glad to hear that DS has seen reason on this issue - you expect to make some sacrifices for them at that stage but it certainly shouldn't be to the point when your own MH is suffering - ultimately particularly when you have other children still at home that helps nobody. Hopefully your DD will also see how all this unfolds and realise what will be expected of her should she choose the University route as well. I do wonder how harmful the very fact that kids are encouraged to feel they have a "right" to go to uni will turn out to be over time, particularly for those who are funded through and don't have to juggle a job as well as their course. No experience for many of doing a "bottom up"role in the workplace, combined with no realisation of just how tough it can be for parents.

savingholmes

Thanks all. Went slighty off plan yesterday but get paid tomorrow so all will be well. We have a wedding to go to this weekend and I was worried that we wouldn't know anyone. Found out yesterday there are quite a few people going that I know and get on with so that cheered me up. I am looking forward to it more now... before I was just focusing on the free food lol...

DD is exhausted hope she makes it to school today and tomorrow. School have suggested I get her a doctor's appointment so will do that. DS was feeling down yesterday and I wanted some time away from the house - so we went out for coffee and desert and got some free iced water too. We had a good chat. I had also had one of those days yesterday where I only went out late to eat - and ended up buying food. It's coming out of a free overdraft we have... I could take it out of savings but my money is earning interest there and it's due to be paid on the 4/11 so want to leave it in.

Work is manic with a series of meetings today and a big meeting tomorrow am - but hoping to finish at little earlier than usual tomorrow.