Prosperous soul in the making

MovingForwards

Smother washing up liquid on the sheet to break down the oil, it should get it out. 

You can resist temptation. When things are more settled and you've decluttered, that's the stage to begin designing your home.

girlatplay

I'm sorry to hear about you and DH.  Sounds like you've got it all quite understand control and amicable.  Wishing you luck.

jwil

I'm glad things are remaining amicable and hope everything progresses smoothly.

Fortune_Smiles

I'm sorry to read your news SH but it must be the right decision for you and your family.  Best wishes for the changes ahead.

Fortune x

savingholmes

Thanks MF, Jwil, GAP and Fortune

It 100% feels the right decision for me. I already feel lighter. 

I have used loads of fairy on sheets. Need to wash them now and see if worked.

Debt reduced 13£. Waiting to see size of solicitor bill before paying more.

Took pooch for a walk last night. Hope to go to the park with her shortly.

savingholmes

Well struggled a bit with concentration today so finished work early. Think I may go into work tomorrow to overcome that.

I took pooch for a walk to the park and then took DD to a shop. We then managed to get two meals and drinks in a pub for £11.89 so I was very impressed with myself...

I then mowed the lawn - and strimmed lots of the garden, brushed the path etc. It definitely gave me a work out and looks better already although there's plenty left to do. DS cooked for me and him tonight using my ingredients - so I should get a meal I've not had to cook to take to work tomorrow. 

My latest solicitor's bill is due end of August. I'm hoping it will be low this month but who knows... Ex is meeting his solicitor tomorrow which should hopefully move things forward - I'm hoping in the direction we agreed... It's hard not to be nervous... I hate not being in control of the timeline, bill or outcome... Hoping we get a win:win solution for both of us and don't unduly disrupt the kids lives...

DD is very excited and a little nervous about her upcoming apprenticeship. She is having two more driving lessons before she starts her new job a week tomorrow. DD has taken to driving like a duck to water so very relieved. Lovely watching her blossom. MIL has £3K saved for her to put towards her first car once she does pass which is good to know. DD is also planning time out with friends which is nice. We are paying for her to have a haircut this Friday. She's had her last free dental appointment this week and was horrified at how much dentistry will cost moving forwards.  She's growing up... 

Hoping you all have some fun times for you planned as August comes to a close... I have a couple of classes at the gym this week and a writer's group... I had intended to do some writing ready for that but not started it yet....

MovingForwards

Sit DD down and have a quick chat about putting a bit of money away each month for annual dental / optical bills, so she doesn't have to worry about meeting the costs. Does she have to pay for prescriptions or is she exempt? If the former, get her signed up for a prepaid card.

I'm not sure how often you're getting solicitor bills, but you can ask they bill you monthly or you can always make monthly payments on account to keep control of it.

The garden provided you comfort in previous years and in time it will do again.

It's a big change you're going through and there will be a lot of positive steps, with many smaller ones too. You've loads of time to do everything and there's no need to think it all has to be done straight away.

Honeysucklelou2

MF is right, it is a big change - be kind to yourself. I’ve paid my solicitor monthly for quite a while. It goes out each month on a standing order so just like any other bill. 

Grogged

Big life changes are always unsettling and everyone feels adrift at times.
This is a positive change and whilst I only know you from MSE, I know from you being on DFW, that you can draw from your previous experiences to help you now.
As mentioned above, I'd pay your solicitor monthly, both to help you budget and put you back in control.
You gain and give so much much from your creativity and the natural world around you that I know you'll always keep your spirit topped up.
Take care, G.

savingholmes

MovingForwards said:

Sit DD down and have a quick chat about putting a bit of money away each month for annual dental / optical bills, so she doesn't have to worry about meeting the costs. Does she have to pay for prescriptions or is she exempt? If the former, get her signed up for a prepaid card.

I'm not sure how often you're getting solicitor bills, but you can ask they bill you monthly or you can always make monthly payments on account to keep control of it.

The garden provided you comfort in previous years and in time it will do again.

It's a big change you're going through and there will be a lot of positive steps, with many smaller ones too. You've loads of time to do everything and there's no need to think it all has to be done straight away.

I suggested a cash plan to her to meet her costs. She wants to see how things go first. 

I've probably spent 4 or 5 hours in the garden and it already looks a lot better. Plenty left to do though. It is good exercise as well as giving an immediate visual return on the time invested. 

I do tend to think everything needs to be done right now !!! and that I'm already late....

Honeysucklelou2 said:

MF is right, it is a big change - be kind to yourself. I’ve paid my solicitor monthly for quite a while. It goes out each month on a standing order so just like any other bill. 

I am paying monthly but the size of bill is erratic. I've paid £604 so far. Her original estimate suggested I could have £1.5-2.5K to go including VAT. It's the not knowing I struggle with. I get my next bill Tuesday. I'm debating paying her extra this month while it's in my account - versus - paying a chunk off my credit card to get it below £1K... so I look better for the mortgage.

Grogged said:

Big life changes are always unsettling and everyone feels adrift at times.
This is a positive change and whilst I only know you from MSE, I know from you being on DFW, that you can draw from your previous experiences to help you now.
As mentioned above, I'd pay your solicitor monthly, both to help you budget and put you back in control.
You gain and give so much much from your creativity and the natural world around you that I know you'll always keep your spirit topped up.
Take care, G.

Thanks Grogged. I know I will be able to meet the budget longer term. My current worry spiral is about how many paydays do I have while we are still sharing some joint bills - before the divorce and therefore the new mortgage goes through. I can potentially get a better mortgage rate than I originally thought however - that requires me to use £1K of my own money - which I don't yet have available. Some of the other mortgages on offer also don't have the option of adding the fees to the mortgage - so I could need £500-1K upfront to pay them.

You are right though that I gain a lot from being outside and the natural world and my creativity. As the instigator - I feel positive about the change - but as you can probably imagine it is hard 'living separately but apart' in the same house... I am desperately hoping this doesn't drag out over Christmas... It shouldn't but again out of my control.

Potential bills
£1-2K solicitor
£0.5-1K remortgage
£1K towards paying off Ex (instead of putting it on the mortgage)
£1.3K to repay debt

I overspent a little this month compared to what I'd hoped - buying new curtains and second hand furniture...

• If all goes well I could pay the solicitor upto £850 this payday
• September - I have my car insurance go out (around £300) - so after that I could pay around £1K to the above
• October - I should be able to put about £1.45K to the above
• So that comes to £3.3K cf to needing £5.5K worst case
• At a push could squeeze a little more out of discretionary spends - but some of that seems to be being swallowed by kids currently.

If the divorce gets dragged out further than that - I could have November's pay day to put towards the above and potentially only pay the mortgage from December payday onwards (and pay off CC more slowly) which would pretty much solve the problem.... My CC needs repaying or moving by March 2022.