Prosperous soul in the making

savingholmes

enthusiasticsaver said:

Just caught up on your diary and sorry about the split with your DH.  Difficult even if your choice and glad that you still think your early retirement will be possible even with the financial settlement split. Are you staying put or downsizing as DD and DS now seemed to be embarked on their careers? Tricky with young adults as I guess they are not yet fully financially independent.  My sister split with her husband a few years after a 25 year marriage and it took a few years for her to sell up as her son and daughter were still coming home intermittently.  Take your time to decide your next steps. 

From a financial viewpoint overpaying your pension is better than overpaying the mortgage in a low interest climate but from an emotional viewpoint clearing the mortgage  early is better.  I am not sure how either would impact on your divorce settlement though. 

Thanks Grogged and Becky. I really enjoyed Zumba this morning and seem to be making friends with the regulars which is givne me a boost too. Going to hair appointment once I've showered...

Thanks ES - it has been a very difficult decision but right for me long term. If I can do a pension transfer I should be able to early retire. Otherwise I need to up my income and get to 'retirement'/financial independence that way - which may be possible by supplementing my day job with art and writing. A family friend exhibits in an art gallery - my sister is going to get me some details and then I can see (after the divorce) if that is likely to be an option for me.

I am hoping to stay put for now and am buying out Ex. In practice the kids look likely to be home longer than I planned. DS until at least after Xmas - and DD part weeks until next June. I am trying to offer myself - and particularly DD - some stability as we make what are huge changes.

I'm not over-paying the mortgage until the divorce is resolved. I am debating re pension versus mortgage as I kind of agree with you - but am worried about what the gov might do to pensions... and the lifetime allowance longer term especially as they want to reduce it rather than increase it. In which case I might be better with an investment ISA. I don't want to not be able to access my £. In the unlikely event I stayed in my current role until age 67 - I would get almost as much in retirement with my work, private and state pensions as I do now assuming I can pension transfer my second DB pension...

For now I'm trying to increase my exercise, fitness and tackle my weight and social connections - so that I am more likely to live well long enough to enjoy retirement.

I wish I could control the speed of divorce. If it happens mid to late November finances will be challenging. If it happens after December pay day it would be much easier financially but trickier balancing living separately and apart in the same home at Xmas etc. I just want it to be over and to start paying the new mortgage - as again - every month of delay is potentially an extra month I will end up working - unless I manage to save it etc...

doingitanyway

You are doing so well. So good to read your DS and DD are also doing well. 
Great idea to focus on increasing exercise, health and social connections.
You sound in control of your finances going forward too.

MovingForwards

Keep filling your time with positivity, find more suitable groups and expand your knowledge.

This suggestion may not go down well, but it benefits you. When your solicitor confirms something has been sent to your ex, drop him a text to look out for it. It's what I did as I knew things wouldn't get done otherwise.
- Would it be worth asking your solicitor if it will be finished this year? She'll know the timeframes from other similar cases.

Great news about DD and the benefits they're offering her. She's got your determination.

Are you able to retire early and use the DB, or is it SRA they pay from. Perhaps fund a SIPP, for tax relief, and S&S ISA as a back up plan. I do think your original plans are a good starting point to work from, perhaps just scaled back a little. Revisit everything when things are more settled.

savingholmes

doingitanyway said:

You are doing so well. So good to read your DS and DD are also doing well. 
Great idea to focus on increasing exercise, health and social connections.
You sound in control of your finances going forward too.

Thanks DIA - trying to control what I can and let the rest go... 

MovingForwards said:

Keep filling your time with positivity, find more suitable groups and expand your knowledge.

This suggestion may not go down well, but it benefits you. When your solicitor confirms something has been sent to your ex, drop him a text to look out for it. It's what I did as I knew things wouldn't get done otherwise.
- Would it be worth asking your solicitor if it will be finished this year? She'll know the timeframes from other similar cases.

Great news about DD and the benefits they're offering her. She's got your determination.

Are you able to retire early and use the DB, or is it SRA they pay from. Perhaps fund a SIPP, for tax relief, and S&S ISA as a back up plan. I do think your original plans are a good starting point to work from, perhaps just scaled back a little. Revisit everything when things are more settled.

I did tell him about my solicitor sharing stuff... and he still missed it... Roll eyes

My solicitor reckons it should be quicker but it still isn't in her hands either... It will be whatever it is... 

My existing DB pensions x 2 both have penalties for early withdrawal. This is why I would be better IMO transferring the older one to where I can get to it after age 55. I could then take 25% and pay a chunk off the mortgage if I wanted or to use towards phasing out my day job earlier so I can focus on more artistic pursuits... I don't want to actually stop working... I just want enough time to write and create art... It may be that the divorce and the kids becoming more independent helps give me that regardless...

MovingForwards

It will all go through ok soon.
Again, when things are settled look into the DB transfer. The artistic pursuits are another form of work, with an outlet for how you're feeling too.

TBH, the next few years are going to shape you, your outlook and the route your life takes. Things will only get better with each passing month.

jwil

It all sounds positive, and it's good that you are getting out and about and making new connections.

savingholmes

Thanks MF and J

I had the house to myself this afternoon. DD has gone to a friend's and DS has gone to an electric-less cabin in Wales...

Well I've coated the front door and step with 2 coats of stormy blue from w1lk0 - it has metallic sheen - really like it. Looks a lot smarter. Tomorrow - I am planning to paint the trim - and then potentially touch up any bits on the doors that still need doing. Debating also painting the backdoor tomorrow as it didn't take long really. I decided not to bother with undercoat - so hopefully can take that back for a £12 refund... It all helps.

I have also created two pieces of acrylic pouring art - a really big square and then an 80 x 30 rectangle. Really like how they've come out so far. I used a hard plastic paddling pool to catch some of the paint and it did reduce the mess. I still had to wipe the floor at one point though as I was a bit enthusiastic when splashing paint... Had fun.

savingholmes

I am planning to paint the stair banisters at some point. So may use the same paint I used on the door for the handrail - contrasting with white. Should look smart. When I can afford it (post divorce) I want to re-carpet the stairs and landing in a nice grey. I would also like new flooring in my bedroom but would perhaps like engineered wood floors instead of carpet which isn't likely to be affordable any time soon... One step at a time, starting with the low cost jobs - pruning, weeding and a lick of paint and seeing where that gets me.

I've booked 4 things for next week now (all free) - which feels decadent after a year of semi-shielding... Nice to have things to look forward to. Want to get out and about while we still can. DS has had his second jab now. He was really tired that night but other than that was okay. DD has hers in a couple of weeks.

Grogged

We've also started painting our front door today...
... unfortunately the stripping and sanding has made it look, er, up-cycled 😟
Still tomorrow's another day!
Definitely letting the neighborhood down at the moment...
Once finished it will be a nice satin black (or we'll need to move in shame 😆).

savingholmes

Grogged

Yours will probably look better than mine. I just cleaned it and gave it a light sand before painting