My journey to a debt free life

Onebrokelady

enthusiasticsaver said:

Is this the same sister whose son rents your garage OBL? Presumably you live nearer your parents so why wouldn't she communicate with you to tell you whats happening.  You can do without stuff like that but I can see why it is awkward re  the garage rent if it is a strained relationship.  

Hope DDs move goes  ok today. 

No this is my older sister who lives up country. We fell out several years ago and she now doesn't speak to me. She has blocked me on everything so I can't message her either. She has power of attorney for Dad so is now looking after his finances, paying bills etc. She comes down once a month and causes chaos and then goes home again. For some reason my mum will listen to her rather than me and my daughter even though my daughter specialises in looking after people with dementia. I can't do it any more it's driving me nuts.

Onebrokelady

Cherryfudge said:

I think quite a lot of this could be explained by your Mum's confusion, though your sister's attitude doesn't help. At least the hospital is keeping you informed and it sounds as though you'll be able to see your Dad soon.

The new flat is exciting! One of my children is in the process of buying a flat too and I'm really looking forward to seeing it. You are going to enjoy having your own space at home, but I expect you'll be popping in to see her from time to time as well.  

My sister likes to be in charge so she can be. I'm not getting involved anymore 🤷‍♀️ Mum listens to her even though she isn't medically trained in any way. My sister is hinting at dad going into a nursing home so I expect that will be the next thing. It's up to them now 

DDs flat is lovely ,it's very modern and only three years old I am secretly very jealous 😂😂  I will definitely be popping in and we will meet up for coffee and days out too. I might also bump into her at work 😊

Cherryfudge

I know you are there for your Dad as much as possible but sometimes you just reach a limit to what you can do. You've also got your own life to live and your own health to look after, so perhaps that will be a little easier, though the frustrations around your parents' care will still be there.

At least you will have a bit more freedom to help your daughter move and settle in.

Fizzy11

My sister won't speak to me to let me know anything so I have decided to wash my hands of the whole thing and let her deal with it. I no longer want to know what they are doing because they are not making any sense. I will go to my mums when my dad goes home to see my dad and that's all I'm going to be doing from now on. I'm sick of people not letting me know what's happening and then telling me the wrong thing. She wants to be in charge so she can be in charge.

I could have written this myself 6 years ago before my mum died. Anyone who has a ‘Golden Balls’ sibling completely understands where you’re coming from. My sister did the same to me, though worse, lied about being next of kin, lied about being mums only visitor which she rarely did when it was actually me and my kids. The tears of frustration I shed was unbelievable, the stress she caused was awful and it was only hours before she died when mum said she shouted at you at my house. Sadly not for one minute did my sister ever consider anyone before herself let alone my 95 year old mum. We’ve had no contact in years and that suits me fine.

I really hope you manage to do what you say but I suspect you’re too nicer person. I really hope you can spend more time with your family. Sending a very sympathetic hug. 

Golden balls was the term my postman used for his brother who flew in once year caused chaos, did nothing useful to help their mum then flew off again for another year. Where was Golden Balls when she forgot to buy milk. There are lots of us with siblings like this, unfortunately. 

Sunshine_girl2

Have just read about 4 pages of your diary, good to hear DD2 has got her move done . Sorry to hear about all the issues surrounding your dad and the family. I think you are right to take a step back and concentrate on yourself . You can visit your dad when the time is right for you, when your sister has gone back home. Have a good weekend , hope the weather is kind to us. 

Onebrokelady

Just popping in to say it's been a very busy few days moving DDs stuff into her new flat. We went over yesterday and cleaned the kitchen. I covered the oven in bicarb and white vinegar and left it overnight so today we went back and cleaned the oven, it now looks like a new one 😊 Today we cleaned the rest of the flat and set up the bed and settee. Tomorrow we have some last minute bits to do and she is going food shopping so her first proper night will be tomorrow night. She had met two of her new neighbours and they are both lovely. She is also discovering that quite a lot of the people who live on the development work at the same hospital. The neighbour she met today lives on the ground floor and she works in Out patients plus there is a physio who lives across the road. One of my colleagues who also knows DD lives around the corner on the next road over😊

My house now looks  very empty and messy so after tomorrow I am going to be blitzing everywhere to get it back to its normal tidy self. It was lucky I took this week off as I am going to be very busy sorting stuff out 

milann

Sounds like you’ve got a few busy days getting everything as you want it in the house. Dds place sounds lovely. Good that the neighbours are nice. 👍

Drawingaline

Congratulations to your daughter on her new place.

Onebrokelady

Drawingaline said:

Congratulations to your daughter on her new place.

Thank you 😊

Onebrokelady

Today was a lovely day because I managed to meet my mum for coffee in town. She got a taxi and we went to M&S cafe which is her favourite. It was nice for her to get out of the house for a change. My sister phoned her when she got home to say that she spoke to the hospital and the carers are now going to come in three times a day instead of twice. Dad should be coming home at some point next week.

DD has had a weird experience at her flat. She got out of the shower this morning and when she looked in the mirror Get Out was written in the steam 🙀🙀🙀 I've told her that it was probably there before because if you write in steam it disappears when it's dry and comes bask when it's wet. She is now convinced it's haunted. She also said some of her kitchen drawers were open when she wand back in the kitchen. All the hairs stood up on the back of my neck when she told me. I lived on a flat once and had some odd experiences I can't explain and was so happy when I moved out. She said she has had a word with the ghost and told them that she lives there now and they will just have to learn to get used to it 😀 she's braver than me,I would have run out the door screaming 😀

Im finally getting a day at home tomorrow so I can crack on with my house and make a start on all the jobs I want to do. I am full of motivation so can't wait to get started. DD still has bits here to collect but there are just some bits in the kitchen and the rest is in her room. I am working my way through the washing pile that has built up over the last few days while we've been busy and I want to clean my settee but I need to wait until my arms have recovers from cleaning DDs oven 😊