My journey to a debt free life

badmemory

This will all be stressful & remember that stress makes any signs of dementia worse & they may not show in nmormal circumstances.  Stress can mess us all up.

Onebrokelady

Cherryfudge said:

Oh no, what a day. I hope your Dad is all right. Covid is definitely going the rounds right now. Will you be able to ring your Dad?

I agree, it sounds as though your Mum is struggling. Keep a note of things and hand them over to her doctor, I guess. It's so hard especially when the person themselves lacks insight (which is how it was with my Mum), and you have your own grief and stress to deal with while trying to make progress for them. Would it help at all to talk it through with your own doctor, so you can have some sort of support? And perhaps take a step back from babysitting while this is going on. I know you had already committed to this and didn't want to back out, but I mean in the future.

It's good that your Mum has agreed to carers, I hope that helps.

Sorry if this is rather clumsy, I need to get some sleep myself so I'm not thinking too well. Hope you get some rest.

Dad is asymptomatic and the nurse looking after him says he is ha usual self. I will be able to phone my Dad from tomorrow 😊

I won't be babysitting again now until April when I have them both for a weekend while their parents go to a wedding. I just hope nothing happens on that weekend that will need me to get involved 🤞

Onebrokelady

milann said:

Oh no. What a day for you to cope with. I’m pleased your mum has agreed to carers it’ll put your mind at ease. Hope your dad isn’t too poorly with covid, there does seem a lot of it around again.
Don’t forget to look after yourself- you’ve only just begun to feel better.Sending lots of positive vibes your way.

It was a frustrating day say the least . Dad is actually ok with no symptoms so that's lucky. 
Thanks for the positive vibes xx

Onebrokelady

foxgloves said:

So sorry things are so sad & difficult at the moment, @Onebrokelady. Having been there with trying to get my Dad home from hospital (complete with 2 enormous oxygen machines) & how difficult it was, you do have my sympathy. My Mum didn't have any dementia, but she did struggle with the huge significance of all the changes, carers coming in, officialdom. I can remember her being horrified when I told her Dad would need a bed downstairs or a stair-lift. I reminded her that she had been with me the previous day at the hospital when she was told this by Occupational Health & the nursing team. She said "Well, it's the first I've heard of it", despite being with me in the meeting when it was all discussed in detail. I think it was a sort of denial about how things were changing & how difficult they were going to be, so your Mum may be experiencing an element of this as well as being confused. Shall be thinking of you anyway. I've been there & it's both sad & exhausting.
F xx

Thanks Foxgloves, in a way I'm lucky that both my parents have reached their 90s before this has happened. Mum does sometimes hear what she wants to hear but her memory for things she should know is terrible, she should remember that I have two grandsons but had completely forgotten. I could see she was convinced that they had agreed to carers going in so I played her the voicemail I got telling me otherwise 

Onebrokelady

badmemory said:

This will all be stressful & remember that stress makes any signs of dementia worse & they may not show in nmormal circumstances.  Stress can mess us all up.

Stress is messing me up for sure. Mum is also a terrible worrier which doesn't help. I  told her that DD was moving into her flat next week and she said" oh you won't be coming up here to visit anymore will you because you will be at DDs "   Erm no because I go to mum and dads in the week and DD works Monday to Friday so I will only see her at the weekend. She has clearly been thinking I won't go up there as much when DD moves when in fact I can't because she won't be there 🙄

Onebrokelady

Work yesterday was absolutely crazy and I enjoyed every second of it. I always work well under pressure and I didn't have one second to think about anything apart from work. Dads OT from the ward he was on in this hospital did arrange for a volunteer service to phone me to arrange to collect his phone and take it to the hospital he has been moved to. The man collected it this morning so he should at least have a phone now. My niece is going tomorrow to drop off some things and some goodies for him so hopefully he will be ok.

I was selfish today and spent the day by myself not talking to anyone and it was great. My friend messaged me to go for a coffee but I just needed time to not talk about it and after work yesterday I was all talked out so I didn't go .
 I had to go into town because it's DDs birthday on Sunday and I needed a card plus I always buy a small birthday cake ( normally a kids one ) I had also run out of dog and cat food so picked some up in Wilkos . I bought myself some bits for the freezer as I want to start filling it up for when DD moves out. I picked up my normal meat free sausages from the chilled cabinet than noticed they were cheaper if you bought them frozen so I put them back got the frozen instead and saved myself 75p 😀 I also bought gut friendly thick yogurts that are normally too pricey for me but they were on special for 4 for £1.50 they were cheaper than the Greek ones I normally buy and slightly bigger. I use them for my packed lunches so it saves me buying food at work which adds up if you do it all the time.

I was home again by lunch time. So did some washing ( did a load before I went out and pegged it out ) and I gave the house a good clean (around all the boxes and furniture that belongs to DD 😀) my house is going to look so tidy and empty once all her stuff has gone 😊

Im working tomorrow and I'm hoping for another good day. Then I have Saturday and Sunday off which I'm really looking forward to.

I checked my bank account today and the SC payment hadn't gone out so it looks like they have updated my account from when I phoned up 🎉🎉I am going to go through  all the paperwork after DD moves out then I'm going to contact the people who own my debt now to  tell  that I'm going self managed then I can reduce the payment to fit my budget. 
SC have been great but they aren't helping me now my debt payment has become unaffordable. I won't know how much I can afford until all my new bills come in. I'm still waiting for the council tax bill, my rent review and the water. I am going to offer them a low interim payment and then pay more once I know how much I've got to work with. I have all the account details and amounts that I owe so it's going to be a lot easier than it was when I first started my DMP because I didn't have a clue back then.

Cherryfudge

Good to hear you had a day for yourself. Also that your Dad has his phone and that SC have acted on your phone call.  

It's funny how frozen foods can sometimes be cheaper than fresh, I've seen it too. Always worth checking!

badmemory

That day to yourself was not selfish, it was necessary.  I was still working at 66 & had no intention of actually retiring until my mother went into a care home.  Visiting 4 days a week, 3 of them after work, left me totally drained & eating absolute rubbish.  If I hadn't had Saturdays off I would have screamed & on that day I did absolutely nothing.  A couple of them I didn't even get dressed.  Sometimes we just have to do what we have to do to get through the day.  Beating ourselves up about it does not help, although most of us seem to do it.  So don't you!

milann

The day to yourself is what you needed. 👍Well done for realising you needed it and following it through 👏👏

Sun_Addict

I love it when work is manic, I work better when I’m running around like mad 😆

I’m glad your dad isn’t poorly with Covid. 

Not at all selfish taking a day to yourself, you need days like this to keep sane.