My journey to a debt free life

Onebrokelady

Cherryfudge said:

I don't know whether it would help, but some people use a 'dementia clock' that has the day of the week, morning/afternoon, and the year as well as the usual things.

A visitor's book sounds good. Less likely to be lost, as well! Perhaps start with a few photos of people he knows, with their name and relationship to him, so staff or visitors can talk to him. And a little list of family phone numbers.

How is he today? And how are you?

Mum messaged me earlier to say he was a lot brighter yesterday and is now allowed home. Someone is going to their house tomorrow to fit a monitor to keep an eye on his oxygen levels so I think he will be going home on oxygen 

Onebrokelady

foxgloves said:

@OBL - When my Mum was in hospital, her mind was v much affected by a combination of a serious infection & the shock to her system of emergency surgery. She was moved to palliative care about a month later & reminded in hospital until she died & for some of that time, she didn't know who we were. Neither my sister or I lived locally but visited as often as we could & stayed at Mums house to facilitate extra visits. The hospital staff put a notebook by Mum's bed so visitors could just jot down that they'd been in to see her with the date. It really helped us to know she'd had several visits from her friends, church community, etc, as she became increasingly unable to remember or tell us anything. As the nursing staff changed frequently, I felt it was also important that they knew we were visiting Mum as often as we could so we logged our visits too..
My sister & I also made a little note in the book if we'd noticed changes in Mum since our last visit, as the lovely palliative care team said we know her best. So I don't know if the use of a notebook is routine, but we did find it had benefits.
Difficult times for you. Sending love.
F x

Definitely going to get a notebook to write in for him. Whether mum or dad use it is another matter.Dad also has a nurse who visits once a fortnight so I would be good for her to see and or write in too.

Onebrokelady

Sun_Addict said:

Dementia and Alzheimer’s are such cruel diseases. It’s heartbreaking that so many people have their latter years blighted in this way. Brilliant idea about people recording their visits and it instigating conversation. When Mr SA was receiving treatment for his brain tumour he was adamant no one ever visited him, despite me and other family members being there every single day. Something like that would’ve been very helpful back then. 

Take care of yourself too in all this x

It's horrible to watch 😟 I suppose Dads been quite lucky to not get really bad until his 90s though. 

Onebrokelady

Latest on Dad is that he is now allowed home but Mum doesn't know which day it will be. Mum said someone is coming to the house tomorrow to fit a monitor to monitor his oxygen levels so I'm thinking he is going home with oxygen. He won't keep the oxygen on though so I don't know how that's going to work. I'm more worried about mum looking after him seeing as she is 90 and not in the best of health herself but I don't think she will say anything to anyone if she is struggling. She always says she is tired but when I suggested getting help in she says no so I can't do anymore than that 🤷‍♀️

We had good news yesterday about DDs flat, she can pick the keys up on the 8th of March which ties in nicely with her week off work. So after then I will be flying solo 🙀😳😬🎉😫🙀 she is very excited and I'm very nervous 😂. I hope she likes living over the other side of the city as it's busier over there. She has already said she will miss her walk to work. I've told her I will take her exploring because I know that area fairly well as I used to ride my horse over that way. There are a couple of nice footpaths and bridleways to go for a walk on 😊
I think my first month will be very tight money wise as my bills won't reduce straight away but I should hopefully see a reduction across all my bills apart from my rent and mortgage. I've applied for single person council tax allowance so that it starts when the new bills are issued. I was waiting for DD to move out but then realised I had better do it now seeing as it doesn't start until April and she will be gone before then. 

I had an email from the passport people to say they have received my old passport so I will hopefully get my new one soon. It will be good to have an accepted piece of ID for a change. It will make life a lot easier 😊

Onebrokelady

Oops meant to ant to say went to town today to take some books back to the library and I also nipped into Sainsbury's and they had a good selection of fruit and veg in there apart from tomato's and cucumbers.I don't eat much salad in the winter because it's cold 🥶I prefer hot food in the winter but I do like tomatoes in my sandwiches so will just have to go without. I will have chutney instead 😬
I belong to a scrimping and group on Facebook which I joined to get ideas for saving money and it's full of sad stories of people who just have no money. A dad posted this morning saying they had no food in and only £1.18 to last them until payday which is 18 days away, they have four children 😟I'm so glad I only have me and the pets to look after and I'm feeling really grateful that I have enough to get by along with the knowledge on how to budget. There are so many people out there who just aren't managing at all to feed themselves properly or heat their homes, it's heartbreaking.  

Sun_Addict

Good news your dad is coming home. 

End of an era with DD moving out but a fresh start for you. It will seem very strange for you at first I bet. 

SusieT

Good that your dad is well enough to go home, will they set him up with carers to start with? Just thinking it might help convince your mum to have some help occasionally as well. 
Hope DD is happy in her new home, it is well worth claiming the single person discount from 8th as it will get a few £ back to you for this year, and it all helps.

Onebrokelady

Sun_Addict said:

Good news your dad is coming home. 

End of an era with DD moving out but a fresh start for you. It will seem very strange for you at first I bet. 

Yes it is good news, I want him out of the hospital before he catches something 🙀. DD was telling me earlier that all the staff love him and thinks he's great, he could charm the birds from the trees that's for sure. They will change their minds if he gets annoyed about anything 😀

It will be weird living here on my and it's going to take some getting used to that's for sure. I have lots to do though to keep me busy 

Onebrokelady

SusieT said:

Good that your dad is well enough to go home, will they set him up with carers to start with? Just thinking it might help convince your mum to have some help occasionally as well. 
Hope DD is happy in her new home, it is well worth claiming the single person discount from 8th as it will get a few £ back to you for this year, and it all helps.

No he isn't being sent home with care because mum will have said no. It will happen eventually and she will just have to accept it.

I hope is going to be happy she is excited but doesn't like change and I sometimes think she is moving out because that's what you are supposed to do but doesn't really want to. Im expecting a bumpy ride for the first few months for both of us. She does suffer with depression and anxiety and I am worried she will be lonely but time will tell. Hopefully her newly found social life will help and she is busy with work Monday to Friday so that will keep her occupied 

Onebrokelady

Was rudely woken up at 6.45 am this morning but one of our cats wailing on the landing, then the other one joined in 😡I was not a happy bunny seeing as I had set my alarm for 9.30 for a nice lie in. 

I had a good day at work which was spent 1-1 with a patient who turned out to be very funny. I laughed so much I had a headache when I left work 😀 I put in a request for AL on Monday because there are lots of staff on and I have AL to use up and it was granted so I don't have to work until Wednesday now 🎉🎉🎉

Im not sure what I will be doing tomorrow so will play it by ear. I suspect DD is wanting me to help her with some of her furniture that's she renovating but if not I think I will do some cross stitch. I also have the ever growing laundry pile to see too.

On Monday I have to go into town because I got a text today to say my prescription is ready to pick up and I forgot to get puppy pads when I went in the other day. It's payday on Monday as well so I need to work out the new budget for March. DD is paying me my months rent for the last month so that will be going into my savings pot which is covering absolutely everything at the moment. I did pay for my passport, the boiler service and part of DDs birthday present last month so got a lot sorted but its left me depleted. My savings have not been very good this year so far because I just don't have the money but I'm happy that everything I did in February was paid for with cash I already had so no added debt and no credit card. 

I am going to have to be super focused on tracking my spending now or things will get out of control pretty quickly. I've saved nearly all my receipts from February so I can go through them and see what I spent money on. The food budget will be the interesting one. DD normally buys her own food but lately things have got a bit blurred and we have been sharing some things so it's been hard to keep track. I've also picked up toiletries for her which she didn't pay for so that's affected my budget. I don't mind doing it but it's nice to know that won't happen when she moves out. Tracking my spending will be easier when I'm on my own 😊