My journey to a debt free life

Onebrokelady

Today's plans were to go and see my mum and dad and then on into town to pick up something from Next plus some shopping. 

Dad has been visited by a nurse from the memory clinic and finally has a diagnosis of Vascular Dementia. I'm so glad they have finally got to see him and give him a proper diagnosis because my sister had convinced my mum that he is faking it 🙀why the hell he would want to do that is beyond me but that's my sister for you. I now feel like we can move on and start to live with it knowing what's wrong.
I knew he had it at the beginning of this year and told the family but they didn't believe me. My mum listens to my eldest sister despite her not having any medical knowledge. She doesn't listen to me despite me taking DD2 up to see him. DD2 is an occupational therapist who specialises in working with people with dementia.she told my family he had what she suspected was vascular dementia months ago but they wouldn't listen .
 The nurse gave mum a book all about it so I've borrowed it to read over the next week so I can learn how to make life easier for dad. I need to get across to my mum that he is still a functioning human being who's opinion should be taken into consideration when treatment options are offered. He was offered some meds and mum said the nurse told her she didn't have to decide now whether he should have them or not and I wanted to know if anyone had actually asked dad if he wanted any treatment. I know he can't remember the conversations but at least ask him. He said today he is not bothered about taking any more medication and at 96 I can see why. So I told him as long as he is happy with things that's ok.
I am feeling quite relieved that this has all happened this week as I now know he has someone who knows what they are talking about looking after him. He seemed a lot happier today so that was good.

I then went into town to pick up one of DD2 presents, we always have new pjs at Christmas so I got hers today,I also picked her up some thermal walking socks because she has got into walking on Dartmoor and only has one decent pair. I'm not having any new pjs this year because I have too many now but I have told her she can get me a Thermawear thermal vest instead if she wants 😊

Im now home for the evening and have the house to myself because DD2 has gone to the cinema. So I'm going to have my tea and then a nice hot shower and out on my pjs 

milann

Enjoy your relaxing evening 👍 I’m sitting with my tree lights on and am going to watch Strictly results then run upstairs to bed in time to watch Strike in bed 👍
Im pleased you have confirmation of your dads condition. That sounds awful…..I wish he didn’t have it BUT it’s always better to know what your facing and if there’s any help for your mum available you need the right professionals on board.

Drawingaline

Glad your dad has a diagnosis. I know my aunt said that when my grandad was around that age he refused to take any new medication. He didn't have dementia, and as my aunt said, it's his decision and his health. He lived to 100, so did OK! 

Cherryfudge

It's a hard diagnosis to have but it's confirmation of what you thought and had confirmed by your daughter. Hopefully it will inform how he's treated and make life easier for everyone.

Onebrokelady

milann said:

Enjoy your relaxing evening 👍 I’m sitting with my tree lights on and am going to watch Strictly results then run upstairs to bed in time to watch Strike in bed 👍
Im pleased you have confirmation of your dads condition. That sounds awful…..I wish he didn’t have it BUT it’s always better to know what your facing and if there’s any help for your mum available you need the right professionals on board.

I had a lovely event thanks 😊 I want to watch Strike but haven't watched any of the previous ones so didn't bother in the end. 

It is sad that Dads been diagnosed with Dementia but also like you say it's better to know what you are dealing with. I'm also happy that this will now stop family members from accusing him of making it up which I still can't get my head round 😟

Onebrokelady

Drawingaline said:

Glad your dad has a diagnosis. I know my aunt said that when my grandad was around that age he refused to take any new medication. He didn't have dementia, and as my aunt said, it's his decision and his health. He lived to 100, so did OK! 

Thanks, I'm happy with the decision for no meds so long as he is the one who has made the decision, Mum said it like it was up to her which isn't right. Mum gave me a book to read which is a guideline about Dementia that this nurse gave her and she got it out of the cupboard next to her chair,I assumed it was a book aimed at carers but it's actually aimed at the patient and what they might experience after their diagnosis. Im not sure Dad has even been given he chance to look at it himself so that's another thing I will need to check next week. I know he can't remember most things from day to day but they are treating him like he doesn't have a say which I don't think is right 

Onebrokelady

Cherryfudge said:

It's a hard diagnosis to have but it's confirmation of what you thought and had confirmed by your daughter. Hopefully it will inform how he's treated and make life easier for everyone.

I hope so, the main thing is he will now hopefully be believed an the family will stop accusing him of exaggerating or making it up. 

Onebrokelady

Woke up to a very slightly milder day today 🎉🎉 still cold but not as cold as yesterday. I went and met my friend for coffee as we hadn't seen each other for a couple of weeks due to me catching Covid and missing all the festive events. We had a really good catch up but I'm cross with her because as previously mentioned we had the no Christmas presents conversation and she went and bought me a present 🤷‍♀️She said it's only small and it's because I have had a rough year but she lost her sister this year and you don't get rougher than that, I told her off anyway 😀and I was going to go and buy something but I've now talked myself out of it, we agreed no presents and I am sticking to that agreement.

I then came home and had house jobs to do. First up was going the 🐓a nice deep bed and topping up he food,I was shocked to discover that her water had frozen again despite me putting a float inside the dispenser. I will have to make sure to check it before work tomorrow or else she won't be able to get a drink.

I also polished and hoovered downstairs plus hoovered upstairs. Downstairs floors were mopped too. I am back at work tomorrow so wanted to get ahead before I go back. 

I managed to buy my favourite cherry liqueur chocolates and some Bucks Fizz today in M&S so that's another thing on my list procured. I'm leaving work at 2 tomorrow and I'm going to walk into town on my new ultra efficient legs to try to track down some Elizabeth Shaw mints because DD2 has assured me that Christmas will be ruined if we don't have any 😀 hopefully I will find some 🤞🤞

Im kind of looking forward to going back to work tomorrow and getting back to normal, it will be nice to see colleagues again, I'm a bit nervous of the fact that the trust went into high alert today but I'm hoping it will pass me by in clinics 🤞🤞

Cherryfudge

I agree with you - dementia can ebb and flow and he may be able to respond to the book or at least to say what he'd like.

I found the Alzheimer's site useful even for people with non-Alzheimer's dementia.

milann

I bought some cherry liquors from Aldi last Christmas and they were lovely…..not sure how they compare with M&S but I bought another box last week. Think they were £2.99
Well done for sticking to the rules of ‘no presents’
Hope you enjoy work 👍