My journey to a debt free life

Onebrokelady

Sunshine_girl2 wrote: »

Your sewing sounds like a great project. Glad you got a day to yourself to catch up on sleep and ironing.

As you probably realise I look after my 2 grandchildren one day a week . Obviously it's only been one at a time as other started school as daughter finished maternity leave . I volunteered to work 5 days in 4 to have them , but I know that if it was too much for me my daughter would make other arrangements and she wouldn't berate me for it . My daughter and I aren't the closest but she always says thank you when I babysit extra for them. I think it's a hard one to comment on really but I would look after yourself first and foremost . You need to work to pay your bills so it's important that you aren't to tired.

It's definitely a difficult situation, she knows I'm not always feeling great but just ignores it or brushes over the subject,I know it's really hard because she has to work but she is on maternity leave at the moment and still wanted me to have DGS all day on a Tuesday, in the end she said she would spend the day with me too but that means I end up running round after DGS and making her cups of tea all day and lunch as well:(

Onebrokelady

So here is my typical week
Sunday= work 12.5 hours plus one hour walk home
Monday = day off work but housework and other jobs to be done
Tuesday = Look after DGS from 8.30 am until 5.30 pm
Wednesday = 8 hour shift at work plus 70 minutes total travel time
Thursday= day off but doing housework looking after animals
Friday = 12.5 hour shift at work, plus 70 minutes total travel time

All this despite only averaging 5 hours sleep a night and almost constant pain

All I get in response is "try looking after two children on your own" 😡

Sunshine_girl2

I think you need to have a good think about what you want to do and set your stall out before your daughter goes back to work. Maybe you could come to a compromise on your terms. What would she do if you sold up and moved out of the area.? Plus it's not like you do an easy job and my DD was a nurse in the nhs and I remember how tired she was after 12.5 hours.

Cherryfudge

I'm another with a nurse in the family and the shifts are seriously heavy work.

Drawingaline has made a good point saying that if you couldn't care for the children, your daughter would have to find another way, but it's possible your daughter's assuming you always will be okay and she 'deserves' your help. A bit of what my sister-in-law calls a 'poor me'!

I can well understand that it's very important to you to keep contact with the grandchildren, I hope you can get a balance that enables you to have that contact without too heavy a toll on yourself.

My DS used to keep Roborovskies, by the way. They always reminded me of slightly oversized nutmegs! So cute.

Willowtree222

Oh my.

I wouldn't even know how to approach that subject at all. You are doing way to much already and in constant pain. x

HairyHandofDartmoor

It's a very tricky subject but you know your DD best and you also know your own limits, so I'm sure you will make the right decision. If you health should change for the worse any time, then obviously that would mean a reassessment.

Onebrokelady

Thanks for your input everyone,I think I'm just going to play it by ear for now and see how it goes,I might have a little chat with her about how I sometimes find it a struggle so she will just have to accept that sometimes I can't do what she wants me to do,I won't see her now until Tuesday so I've got until then to think about it

Onebrokelady

I've just been awarded my 2 year anniversary badge :j:beer: I can't believe I've been here for two years already, what a difference joining this site has made to my life

I'm finally in control of my finances and have learned how to budget,I've become a saving ninja and I can say I'm actually becoming quite averse to spending my hard earned cash unless it's really really warranted

I'm still in debt but my debt is slowly going down and i have a solid plan to pay it off, I think back to the quivering wreck I was when I first started my DMP and I couldn't believe it would be so easy to sort it all out,I used to say I wish I had found this place sooner and I regret getting g into debt but that won't change anything now, so no more regrets and wishing about things I can't change,I'm just feeling grateful that this site and these forums exist and also Stepchange who have been amazing, without all this support I'm not sure what would have happened to me,but I know now that everything is going to be ok

Also feeling grateful to anyone who reads my diary or who has commented and offered me advice, thank you all who have ever commented, i really appreciate it xx

Onebrokelady

Aaarrrggghhhh flaming weather, yesterday when I went to work it was a lovely sunny day all day, today on my day off it's chucking it down again,I wanted to clean out the chicken run and do some bits in the garden,but it's horizontal rain out there so that won't be getting done today

I still haven't taken the poor dog out yet,I tried to let her out in the garden, she poked her nose out of the door and then turned round and came back in ,she's now taken herself back to bed :rotfl: I think she has the right idea

I've got some indoor things to do today so will do that instead of the garden and maybe some reading and sewing

HairyHandofDartmoor

We had awful horizonatal rain too, I got soaked just crossing the playground . I don't blame the dog for not wanting to go out. At least you can get lots of indoor things done.